


Duct Tape for a Broken Heart

by ead13



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: Comforting, Culture Shock, F/M, Mild Alcohol Abuse, Mourning, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Sturges is a teddy bear and you can't tell me otherwise, Sturges is also a gentleman, Widow, but he has no idea, but more like world shock, sole survivor champions the Minutemen, synth sturges
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2019-10-04 01:39:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 26
Words: 45,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17295239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ead13/pseuds/ead13
Summary: She heard him say once, "My old man taught me that duct tape could fix anything. I don't think he was talking about bullet holes." But what about broken hearts? Could he possibly fix hers? Because when she stepped out of Vault 111, the pieces were barely enough to be put back together. Then again, he also said "You can fix just about anything: guns, computers, people. Just gotta have the right tools." If anyone has the right tools for the job, it would be Sturges.How I imagine my character's romance with Sturges would go if we had in fact been allowed to romance him...





	1. Intro

At first, she didn't think she would ever be capable of loving again. It would have been bad enough to lose her husband, a man who, up until the day he died, expressed his love for her, but it was flat-out devastating when she had to helplessly watch him get shot point-blank just so they could pry their precious child from his lifeless arms. No, she didn't feel much like living, much less loving, when she staggered out of the vault. Only the flicker of hope that her son might still be out there kept her going, one teetering step after another into that harsh new world.

To be sure, love didn't happen in a moment, not like it had with Nate. It had been a different time when she’d met her future husband, one without the mad scramble for survival. They had been high school sweethearts, even if they didn't get married until she was finished with law school and he served his tour with the military. Nate had such an easy charm, a confident smirk, and no hesitation when he knew what he wanted. He had been the quintessential jock back in those days, and when he'd asked her out, she'd quickly accepted. Truth be told, she'd had her eye on him too. No, there was no way after everything that had happened that it could ever again be as easy as getting invited to the high school dance and going steady thereafter.

If she were being honest, she'd admit that the man who opened her heart once more was probably successful by being so different than Nate, with his lop-sided grin and laid-back manner. The people she would have expected to fall for (if she was ever going to fall) could only be friends. How could they be more when seeing military attire and noble heroics painted his image in her mind? That wasn't to say the object of her interest lacked nobility; in fact, in his own fashion, there was no one kinder in all the Commonwealth. He wasn't going to pick up a gun and save the world; he was going to fix the world with a box full of tools and a package of duct tape.

It was hard to decide when exactly she realized that her closest human confidant in all the Commonwealth had become something more. Was it when the radiation storm had blown in, the first one she'd ever seen, and she'd rushed to the comfort of his arms in her terror? Was it when she found him, fast asleep on the ratty couch of his living room, still holding a screwdriver and face still smudged with grease while his literal midnight oil had burned out in the lamp? Or maybe that conversation she overheard with Jun, where he checked in with the traumatized man and reassured him he would be there to help? Damn. In a world full of raiders and every other type of person out for themselves, he didn't seem to belong. She didn't belong. Perhaps they could both not belong together and change things.

First, she'd have to figure out how to get him away from his workbench and persuade him that leaving the friendzone would be a good idea. Fortunately, her charisma was one of her strong points. Maybe those fashionable glasses and the cream dress would help?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because, you know, +3 charisma ;)


	2. Burying the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every romance has to start somewhere. Unfortunately, this one starts with a burial as Vera lays Nate to rest. The only way to pull it off is with the help she's reluctant to ask for. Good thing a certain someone offers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You ever stop and realize you were so eager to get your ideas down that you just ignored important exposition because it wasn't as fun to write? Yep. Totally important context information ahoy!

Vera stood in the doorway of her house, watching the few other living humans in the area bustle to and fro in the early morning light. They didn’t have any electricity in Sanctuary, so they all knew they had to make the daylight hours count. Mama Murphy was carrying a small basket of wild mutfruit from the bushes behind “Preston’s house” (ownership of any of the run-down houses was implied, never stated); she’d grilled up the radroaches exterminated by Codsworth for the others to eat yesterday, much to Vera’s distaste. Today they’d have to make do with this, at least until Preston brought back the remains of the molerats from the Red Rocket. Jun and Marcy were gathering debris for scrap, which also made it much easier to travel through the neighborhood. Sturges was across the way in the Rosa’s old workshop, sorting through the remnants of collapsed houses and trimming down sheets of metal that were still salvageable. They were all so busy trying to make a home for themselves, so what was she doing just standing there watching?

Things had happened so fast, she’d barely been able to process any of it. Seeing her husband dead with a bullet through his head, with her son nowhere to be found, emerging from the vault to a cruel, desolate wasteland that barely resembled the area of her memories… Perhaps being so busy had been a blessing, keeping her from caving to despair. She’d found Codsworth, food and shelter in one of the neighbors’ root cellar, and ultimately this straggling group of refugees, to whom she latched on for survival. The entire day yesterday had been spent trying to meet the basic needs of the group as they moved into the houses once occupied by the Abels and the Whitfields, or as she saw it, creating a life-line to fall back on. Today, she just wished she knew where to begin.

Actually, she had an idea. There was one thing that was plaguing her, a ghost that needed to be put to rest before she could move forward. Deep in the vault, her husband’s remains lay, along with all of her neighbors. He deserved better than to decay where he was murdered, where the entire group of them had been betrayed. A bit of earth, a simple hole in the ground for Nate, was what she needed, despite how frivolous it seemed in light of everything else. There was no way she could carry him out herself, but there was no way she could ask one of these people she’d known for barely more than a day…

As she stood, locked in her thoughts and memories, she didn’t pay attention to the way Sturges straightened up from his work and wiped his brow, letting his eyes fall on the woman on the other side of the road wearing sorrow like a veil. He sighed as he stretched his arms to one side and then another. Yesterday, she’d done everything he’d requested to help get them on their feet. Her knowledge of the area and where to find useful supplies was invaluable. Today though, it looked as if reality had caught up with her. They’d all lost pretty much everything except each other and a determination to keep on living; still, something about her was different, deeper. He’d overheard her tell Preston she’d been frozen for over two hundred years, that she’d known a world before the Great War. If they had lost everything, it had been a reality they knew was possible given the state of the world. This clearly was nothing she could have ever seen coming.

When she continued to gaze off into space with that sad expression painted all over her face, he decided he didn’t want to just stand there gawking. She was alone, and he was wired to help people. As he got closer, it occurred to him that he knew barely anything about her other than her name, the whole vault thing, and the fact that she could hack a computer like a real wiz. Well, something generic then.

“Hey, Miss Vera, you hangin’ in there okay?”

The woman jumped, startled by the voice. Oh, Sturges must have seen her standing there looking miserable! Why the hell had she planted herself in the doorway while thinking? “I…no. I’m sorry if my expression was off-putting. You have a lot to do, don’t mind me.”

Sturges folded his arms. “Hey, you’ve been helpin’ us since the moment we ran into each other in Concord. If I could do something to help you, well, I’d definitely do it. We all owe you big time.”

Vera looked completely conflicted by this offer. Something was clearly on her mind. “It’s…not very important. Not in the scheme of things.” But her words were spoken as if she were trying to convince herself.

“We’ve got food and water, beds and defenses…whatever you need, we have time now to work on it. Please, Miss Vera-“

“It’s MS. Vera, actually.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “My husband’s body is still in the vault.”

The silence at that moment was deafening. Sturges was doing everything in his power to keep the horror he was feeling from showing on his face. He lowered his eyes out of respect. “I’m sorry, Ms. Vera, I had no idea…”

“You couldn’t have known,” she replied simply, but not unkindly as she turned her gaze to the hill overlooking the neighborhood. She had, after all, removed her ring as a precaution when things got dicey with the raiders. For all she knew, people didn’t even have wedding rings anymore. “When they took my son, they killed my husband. The selfish thing that I want is to get his body back and bury it properly, but I need help. I just didn’t know how to ask…”

“Well, consider it done. I’ll go tell the others I’ll be gone for an hour or so, get a sturdy board or something to haul him on…yeah. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He turned to go before he could say the wrong thing. He was so flustered that he just might.

“If I’m not here, I’m looking for Codsworth and will be back shortly.”

Sturges paused. “The Mr. Handy robot that’s been boppin’ around the neighborhood?”

“Yes. I never thought about it this way before, but now…” She breathed deeply. “He should be able to say his farewells. He really did care about his master, even if it was only in his programming.”

He wanted to say it was kind of her to consider the helpful robot’s….feelings?...on the matter, but wondered if that wouldn’t be misinterpreted. Instead, he simply grunted in agreement and headed back towards his workshop.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Finally, the last shovel of dirt fell into place. Sturges had offered to dig the hole, but she’d turned him down. This was personal, and while she’d needed help to bring Nate back down to Sanctuary, she could dig a hole just fine on her own. Thankfully, he was polite enough to leave her to her grieving. In fact, he’d also been polite enough to wait outside the cryogenic chamber until receiving the signal to enter, leaving robot and its mistress to mourn as they needed.

“I’m glad we could bring him home, mum,” Codsworth commented with as much sadness as his robotic voice could muster. “And I’m glad you took me with you to find him. It was so hard to believe when you told me what had happened, but this gives me closure.”

“Of course, Codsworth. You deserved to say goodbye too.” Vera smoothed the dirt with the back of her shovel before walking back towards the house. “Now, I want to make a box to put some of his things in. His army fatigues. His dogtags. Hell, I’d even throw in the pack of preserved cigarettes we lifted from the vault just for him. It won’t be a very good box, but I want to do it.” Vera’s voice got quiet, but the tears had been spent. She’d finally cried as she and Codsworth stood in front of the cryogenic pod, not caring that the handyman could hear all of it. She’d held it in so long, she was beyond caring.

“Indeed, mum. And I daresay you should ask that amiable fellow with the impeccable arm strength for the proper tools. He seems to have everything you might need.”

“Yes, he certainly does.” She fell silent, recalling the offer he’d left her with: his door was open anytime if she needed anything. His steady voice and unwavering eyes held nothing but sincerity as he made his promise, something that kept her grounded as the world around her spun. He’d even made a light-hearted remark about his windows and walls also being open at the moment, earning a feeble but genuine smile. This morning, she would never have taken him up on it, whether to avoid feeling like a burden or wounding her own pride she still couldn’t decide. It didn’t matter anyhow; she planned on approaching him again. After all, he’d seen her in all her despair and didn’t shy away, so what more did she have to hide? If she didn’t have anyone to listen to her, she might end up snapping yet.

Before leaving to get the supplies, she turned back to Nate one last time. "I will make those bastards pay for what they did to you if I can, but more importantly, whatever it takes to get Shaun back, I'll do it, Nate. I won't give up no matter how impossible it seems.” Shaun was her beloved son, but now he was more; along with Codsworth, he was all she had left of that life. He was also the single connection that still bound her to Nate.

Perhaps there were still tears left after all.


	3. Impossible Odds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vera very nearly dies on her first real excursion into the wastelands. What chance does a lawyer from two centuries ago stand? Sturges is going to do his best to raise those odds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on true occurrences :)

"Shhh!" Vera hissed at Dogmeat, hoping to quiet his whimpering as they approached Sanctuary. Both were limping pretty badly, and the idea was not to have everyone in the settlement knowing just how close they had come to losing that fight with the mirelurks. It would have helped if they had any stimpaks left, but she had gone through every single one she had during that near-death encounter. The only thing worse than the pain in her body was watching the loyal dog suffer the pain too; poor Dogmeat had his tail between his legs and his ears back in discomfort. Hopefully, some food and a good night's sleep would see both of them healed up by the next morning.

Doing her best to straighten up, Vera made her way through the hole in the white-picket fence of her backyard. Surely no one would see her come in this way.

"There you are, Ms. Vera!" a familiar drawl reached her ears. Vera froze. Casting a hurried glance to her left, she realized that Sturges was still at work even as the sun was setting. He had a screwdriver in hand, and it looked like he attaching some sheets of metal to cover the gaping holes in the Longs' house. No doubt Marcy was insisting he get it done sooner rather than later... "I was getting worried you wouldn't be back by sundown. How'd it go out there?"

Vera faked a smile. "I scavenged a few raider camps nearby for supplies and gathered a lot of plants. Not quite sure what they do, but anything able to grow here has got to have some use, right?"

"Yeah, especially the Bloodleaf and Silt Beans. Those are great for stews."

"You mean those red leafy plants growing in clusters near water? And the bean pods hanging from spindly bushes?"

"Yep, those'd be the ones."

"I've got a whole bunch of that stuff!" she gestured to the pack she was carrying.

"Awesome! That'll really help hold us over 'til our crops come in." 

The way Sturges smiled at her made her feel proud of her contributions. It led her to make the mistake of going too far. "Also, I hope you guys like mirelurk eggs, because I' picked up a bunch of them and I have no intention of eating them unless I have no other choices."

Sturges gave an impressed whistle. To her dismay, he started to approach. "Mirelurks? Those things are nasty! But you didn't take your power armor out with you. Were you able to avoid the big ones guarding the nest?" She didn't have to answer; one sweep of a glance over her and Dogmeat was enough to answer that question. His easy-going smile was quickly replaced with a concerned frown. "Hey now, you're not lookin' so hot. You need another stimpak? We keep a few emergency ones with us. I think they're over at Preston's house..."

"N-no, that's fine. I mean, I'm fine." Vera averted her eyes, only to look down at Dogmeat and feel a wave of remorse. "Well, actually, if you could get Dogmeat something, that would make me feel better."

"I'm grabbin' two while I'm at it. I'll tell 'im it's just for the dog if that makes ya feel better. You just go on inside and take a seat." Before she could argue further, he was gone, hurrying a few houses down the block to where Preston was living. 

Damn. She really didn't want anyone to know how pathetic she had been... With few other options, she moved inside and collapsed onto the ratty couch that two-hundred years ago had been a bright burgundy. Now, it was just dusty and lumpy and ripped up from the blast, and in her state she could feel every spring poking into her back. It was all too much. These people, whom she had only known for a few days, thought she was some kind of heroic miracle. Truth be told, she was able to hack a computer, showed up at the right time at the right place, and found a well-trained attack dog that took a liking to her. The power armor and mini-gun falling into her lap didn't hurt. To top it off, the Deathclaw that had popped out of the sewers that day was also fighting the raiders. If she ever came across something like that while on the road, she'd be dead in two seconds. Today made that very obvious.

The front door slammed open, causing her to jolt from her thoughts. Good. Any longer alone with her thoughts and she might have started to cry. "Here. One for you, one for ol' Dogmeat. Catch!" Sturges tossed her a Stimpak, then proceeded to administer the second dose to Dogmeat, all the while muttering some calming words to the canine. It took more strength than it should have to do the same into her own arm.

"Hope that helps." When she risked a look at him, she could tell that there were questions in his mind, and that he was resisting the urge to ask any of them.

"Thanks, Sturges. Today...has been a learning experience. I'll be careful, I promise." She waved, effectively closing the conversation before he could voice any of those questions. 

He frowned again, and reluctantly turned to go. "All right then. Get some sleep."

Only after the door clicked shut did she exhale. Thank heavens she didn't end up breaking down in front of him. They had enough problems of their own, and Shaun was her responsibility, not theirs. She had to get stronger if she was ever going to stand a chance of finding him and saving him. It simply wasn't going to be as quick as she had hoped it might be. Perhaps if Nate had been the one to survive, he would be able to handle everything with his military background. Being a lawyer was damn near useless in a world like this.

Groaning, she rolled off the couch and began to remove her armor. The stimpak did give her a bit more energy, but she was still eager to call it a night.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

In the morning, when she went to put on her armor for another attempt at exploration, she found the pieces neatly stacked in a way she most certainly hadn't tossed them last night. Vera grabbed the chest piece from the bottom, sending the rest tumbling. When she held it up in the morning light, she could see where the damage had been repaired, and the piece had been reinforced to make it even more durable than it had been when she stripped it from the raider that owned it originally. A quick glance told her the other pieces had received the same treatment.

She felt a strange knot form in her stomach as realization hit her. Turning to Dogmeat, she grumbled "Some guard dog you are."


	4. We're Not in Massachusetts Anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vera encounters her first radiation storm, she's convinced the world is ending a second time. How can everyone else be so calm? Leave it to Sturges to notice.

There was something in the air. It crackled with energy, like when a thunderstorm was blowing in. Vera looked around in every direction, but couldn't see a single gray cloud. Shrugging, she resumed putting in the new tato plant. After stopping by the Abernathy farm, she'd picked up a few tatos to add some variety to their diet; the settlers of Sanctuary would no doubt be grateful for something besides melon and squash.

Then, she heard it. It was distant at first, but grew steadily closer. Like thunder, just as she'd expected, but not quite the same. Even the sound of it crackled, as if the thunder and the lightning had joined. The sky was still not dark, but everything was turning a sickly shade of yellow. It was followed by a sudden rush of wind, and the most unsettling thing of all: the flashes that seemed to swallow her whole, the sound of the electric thunder vibrating through her body. There was nothing natural about what was coming. The shovel fell from her hand, bouncing on the ground.

"Picking up high levels of radiation, mum," Codsworth announced with concern as he whirred around the corner. That was all she needed to spur her to action. With a gasp, she took off for the root cellar behind Preston's house. She had discovered it and taken shelter there her first night alone in the Commonwealth, and seeing as there was no way to get to the vault before the worst of it hit, this was her next best bet.

"Come on, we've got to get in the cellar! We'll be safer there!" she screamed as she ran, not bothering to look back and see if any of her comrades were following.

In truth, Marcy was just shaking her head in disgust at the dramatic outburst. Even Jun, who was the most skittish man Vera had ever seen, merely shuffled to the nearest house without much of a hurry after glancing up at the sky. Mama Murphy was in the house designated as hers washing up some mugs, probably unable to hear her words, and Preston was on the opposite end of the cul-de-sac patrolling. And Sturges? He paused mid swing of the hammer and trailed her frantic flight with his eyes, brow furrowed in confusion. He looked up and saw the same radiated sky that he saw every other week or so. Nothing out of the ordinary that he could sense. Still, once she rounded the corner of Preston's house, he set down his hammer and started to slowly jog over to investigate.

When he arrived to where she had disappeared, he spied for the first time the large metal doors in the ground. It looked as if the weeds and debris had been cleared off recently. "Well I'll be," he muttered. Then, he bent down and pulled them open. "Hey, Ms. Vera, you down there?"

"Sturges? Thank God! Hurry, it's not safe out there!" came a frantic female voice from the darkness below.

Well, no sense in trying to convince her otherwise from outside the bunker. As the thunder and crackling raged on, and the radiation he seemed immune to continued to flare, he descended the ladder, being certain to pull the doors shut behind him. He imagined if he didn't she'd worry about it.

When he turned around, he took in the entire hovel, lit by a single oil lamp. Lots of cinder blocks provided structural support around the walls. The numerous shelves had been picked clean, if they had ever held anything at all. And in the corner, sitting on a ratty old mattress in a fetal position, was Vera. Her eyes widened when she saw him. "What about the others? Where are they?"

"They're just fine," he soothed as he approached the trembling woman. He took a seat on the mattress next to her, his bulk causing it to sag. "It's just a little radiation storm. They blow in every once in a while from the Glowing Sea, nothin' too out of the ordinary."

"This happens often?" she stared in disbelief. "But the sky, a-and all the radiation..."

"Most of us barely even feel it, seein' as we've been exposed to it all our lives. Sometimes the real bad ones leave you tingling a bit, but it’s nothing a good rad-away can’t cure. I reckon you're having a harder time with it, bein' fresh out of the vault. I think after a while it’ll get easier to handle."

She continued to shake her head, looking at him with wide-eyed shock. "Are you sure? This isn't the end of the world again?"

"Again?" he frowned, not understanding.

"Like when the bombs fell that day. I was there, it was the last thing I saw before the elevator took us underground. The mushroom cloud to the south-west. And as we descended, the blast of heat over our heads. This isn't...it's not happening again?" Finally, her fearful face crumpled as tears started to fall. "This is normal to you guys...I feel so stupid..." 

Before she could turn away and hide her face in her hands, his powerful arms were wrapping around her, pulling her close to calm her as if it were the most natural reaction in the world despite how short a time they’d known each other. A reassuring hand rubbed her back as she began to cry in earnest, his unexpected kindness the final straw. "Ms. Vera, I'm the stupid one. You musta been terrified, and I never thought about it that way until ya said somethin'. You've been goin' through a lot, seen a lot of changes. It's okay to be afraid. I'll help ya as best I can. That is, assumin' I can do a better job of figurin' out what's wrong."

He trailed off into silence, just allowing her time and space and a shirt to blot her hot tears. After she’d finally calmed down some, she pulled away with a shaky smile. "Thanks, Sturges. I needed that."

"Any time, Ms. Vera, and I mean it." He paused thoughtfully. "You want me to head up first and you join us a bit later? Give ya some time to, you know...?"

"No." She roughly wiped her face, hoping Marcy wasn't going to look too closely. "I've got to get ready for my trip into town."

They both stood up. "Ladies first, then," he gestured grandly, bringing the smile back to her face. It gave her the strength she needed to climb the ladder, push open the hatch, and reenter the world of the wasteland once more.


	5. Aquired Taste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vera's finally going to humor the others and try her first bite of molerat. They've only been giving her grief about it from day one... Sturges has a special reward for her, but only if she clears her plate!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm, this got longer than I expected...

"She's gonna do it!" cried Gloria in her raspy ghoul voice. The trader came running from the edge of town bearing the news to all that would listen.

Captain, as he did his security rounds wearing his namesake hat, wondered "What exactly is she going to do? And who is 'she'?"

"Vera. She's gonna eat molerat!" Gloria declared, pausing to address her comrade.

Captain gave a hearty chuckle. "It's about damn time our frozen princess sucked it up. This I've got to see!" He then joined Gloria as they continued on their way, spreading the news to the few other residents of Sanctuary.

"What's going on?" Jun asked nervously, peering from around the corner of the garden fence to investigate the commotion.

"Vera's finally gonna eat molerat!"

"Oh." He blinked. He seemed relieved to know there was no raider attack or rampant yao guai.

Then Marcy poked her head out as well. "Big deal. Everyone eats molerat except for that spoiled brat. She doesn't deserve an audience for doing something we all do to survive." 

Despite the acidic tone, Captain noted with amusement how the woman and her husband followed them to the carport of Vera's house, where the cooking station was set up. Once there, Gloria was quick to start a fire.

"Maybe if we grill the meat with some carrots it will look more appetizing?"

"Who cares?"

"I'm thinking SHE will. Wouldn't want her backing out..."

"Oh, mum does enjoy a good roast. Mind you trim the fat, of course." Everyone turned in surprise to note that Codsworth had joined the gathering, the gentle clanking of his gears suddenly noticeable above the rabble. His sensors must have detected the crowd and drawn him over.

“Tch. Molerats ain’t exactly got fat. Around here, hardly anybody does.” Gloria reached into the cooler to withdraw a slab of meat and threw it in the pot. Captain had already handed her a jar of water from the nearby pump to go with it.

“Where is she, even?” Marcy demanded, eyes scanning the neighborhood. “How do you know she’s actually going to show up?”

“She was fixing up a few things at the Red Rocket when I ran over there for my route. Said she’d be over shortly.”

“If she said she was coming, I’m sure she’s coming.” Everyone turned to find the source of the newest voice to the group, one that was as confident as it was calm. Sturges had joined the curious mob with Preston right alongside. “I wonder why today is the day for her to branch out... I know she’s still got a decent supply of them Sugarbombs since she cleaned out Concord.”

“Hey, we should take bets!” Captain declared with a grin. “How many bites does she manage to swallow?”

“Well, you know my caps are on zero,” Marcy quickly replied. “In fact, I don’t think it will even cross her lips. Jun?”

“I, uh…” Jun looked around tentatively. “I’d rather not bet.”

“Well, I’ll wager she’ll swallow at least the first bite to be polite,” Gloria offered. “Then she’ll wash it down with a Nuka Cola and feed the rest to Dogmeat.”

“Put me down as zero bites, but she will at least get it in her mouth.” Captain then looked at Sturges and Preston. “Thoughts?”

“I’m not a gambling man,” Preston held up his hand. “I’m just here to watch.” Then, he turned to his colleague and gave a wry smile. “You going to up that ante, Sturges?”

The handyman rubbed his chin thoughtfully with his gloved hand. “If she said she was gonna do it…she ain’t goin’ half-way. My bet is the whole chunk.” Marcy’s snort was nothing if not predictable. “And when she does, Marcy, you gotta hand over that handful of Tarberries you’ve been saving. Deal?”

“Deal! And if anybody else’s wager wins, they get five caps from each of the losers.” All present nodded resolutely, sealing the deal. They were not a minute too soon.

“Hey! What’s going on without me?” came a familiar voice, followed by the happy bark of a dog. Vera and Dogmeat were jogging up the road.

“We’re just cooking up your dinner for you, that’s all,” Gloria called back cheekily, clanging the spoon against the pot for dramatic effect. “It shouldn’t take long now.”

Vera nearly skidded to a halt. “You’re all standing here…to watch me eat it?”

“You’d better believe it!”

Vera swallowed nervously. When she’d made that promise to Gloria, she hadn’t imagined it snowballing to an event of this proportion. Perhaps in the company of just one other, she could get away with the tiniest of bites and pass the rest off. “Must have been a boring day if you all find this so interesting…” No one budged. “Come on, you don’t have to-”

“Oh, we’re not going anywhere until we see it with our own eyes!” Marcy folded her arms in front of her chest.

And so Vera found herself trapped between a rock and a hard place. Even now, Gloria was plucking the chunk of molrerat out of the pot with a bent fork and slapping it on a relatively clean plate. “Here you go. Fresh out of the hole it crawled out from,” she winked, handing it to Vera.

Vera stared. It looked grisly, and the color was not at all right for a piece of meat. No matter how she tried, she couldn’t imagine it was the beef or pork she used to eat back in the day. Then, she looked around at the circle of faces watching her every move. In fact, the only ones that didn’t look like they were waiting for her to puke were Sturges and Codsworth, who didn’t even have a face to begin with. “You’ve got this, mum!” he encouraged as he bobbed in mid-air.

She inhaled, nearly choking on the scent of the meat. How could she forget that what she was about to put into her mouth was one of the nastiest living creatures she had ever seen? However, everyone was waiting to see what she would do. They ate this all the time, and it wasn’t a matter of taste, but of survival. That was why she’d agreed to do it for Gloria, to help her relate. Backing down would only fuel her separation from the rest of the group. “Just…let me get a Nuka Cola,” she finally smiled weakly, setting the plate down to rummage through her pack.

Once the top was off, the entire group fell into dead silence. No pressure… She inhaled again, then closed her nose in hopes it would dull the taste. She stabbed the chunk with the fork. She put it into her mouth quickly before she could overthink it. Marcy was out.

The thing tasted like radiation, if that was even possible. Worse still was the texture, stringy and chewy. She panicked, thinking she would have to chew on it forever before being able to even swallow. She almost choked and spit it back out. But when she opened her eyes, watering as they were, she locked gazes with the one human smiling instead of frowning in intense concentration. Sturges subtly nodded, and somehow she couldn't help but subconsciously obey his encouragement and swallow. When she did, she heard a loud groan. Captain was out.

Now, the moment of truth. They were still watching her expectantly, so apparently she was supposed to finish the entire thing. Shit, she really didn’t want to. She was close to declaring that she had done what she promised, but the thought occurred to her then that if she was going to be strong enough to find and rescue Shaun, she’d have to be strong enough to face this challenge too. And she HAD to prove herself to the people who took her in. Steeling her will, she braced herself and took the next bite. It was just as bad as the first, and she felt foolish for taking so long to finish the mouthful, not to mention for the faces she was undoubtedly making. She thought of Shaun, and Codsworth, and Sturges’ smile, and refused to spit it out. With the second swallow, Gloria was out.

Now, the mood was shifting to surprise, and she could feel it. Still, she knew she had to finish. It took several minutes to consume what any wastelander would devour in a matter of seconds, but at last she threw the fork down in triumph as the final piece sank heavy in her stomach. Nuka Cola had never been such a welcome treat.

Sturges was far too polite to gloat in his victory. Instead, he approached Vera to offer his congratulations. “Hey, you pulled it off! I don’t suppose you plan on having seconds?”

“No!” she gasped quickly, causing a ripple of laughter among the group. It wasn’t mocking or condescending though; everyone was feeling at ease.

“Alrighty then, I guess that just means more for me! You’ll still join us for the rest of dinner, won’t ya?”

“If you don’t mind watching me eat a can of Pork ‘n’ Beans.” He could tell that even though she tried to make it a joke, she was dead serious.

“Not at all. In fact, I’ll have a little somethin’ special for ya. I gotta grab it from Marcy’s place first, though.” He winked at the sour woman, who rolled her eyes. “You can come with if you want.”

Vera shrugged. “Okay.” Tossing back the last of her Nuka Cola, she followed as he began to lead the way. She was no stranger to the Longs' house; over the last week or so she’d left several items there as she collected them, digging though drawers and the like.

Only after they were out of earshot did Sturges elaborate. “I told ‘em you’d eat the whole thing, and, well, you know that Marcy can be a bit skeptical…”

“You were taking bets, weren’t you?” The accusation wasn’t angry, but amused. “Weird. I wouldn’t have bet on me eating the whole thing, so why did you?”

“I know you enough to know you wouldn’t back down from a challenge. I mean, you’d never held a gun before stepping out of the vault, but you still stood up for us against the raiders, and even the deathclaw!” Sturges entered the dilapidated house and headed straight towards the refrigerator. It didn’t actually keep anything cold, seeing as there was no power, but it was a place to store food if nothing else. Inside, way to the back and on the lowest shelf, there was a small box Vera hadn’t seen earlier. When Sturges pulled it out, she saw it was filled with purple segmented berries, no more than ten or so. “I suppose you’ve never seen a tarberry before, have ya?”

“A…tarberry?” She studied it closely in the fading light. “It does look like something I saw growing on the water once. The segments were smaller though, and it looked seedier.”

“That was probably the wild version. The cultivated tarberries are bigger and sweeter. The problem is there is only one farm in all the Commonwealth that has been able to put out a crop large enough to trade. In other words, these babies are hard to come by. Marcy’s been savin' 'em since Quincy and eatin' them one at a time. I hope she learns her lesson.” Sturges held out the box to her. “It only seems fair you get them.”

“Why? You’re the one that made the bet.” She tilted her head curiously. “I’m the wimp that got this whole thing turned into a big production because I can’t stomach the cuisine of this time period.”

Sturges just smiled. “I haven’t seen those people so excited about something since I can’t remember when. I can definitely say I’ve never seen Gloria or Captain that happy since they showed up. Even if you didn’t try to, you gave those people a good time, and it’s been way too long since they’ve had one of those. It…means a lot.” He cleared his throat. “Go on, maybe these will help your stomach settle.”

Vera was shocked. What had started as a way to fit in had somehow turned into something even more profound? Still, she placed her hands on her hips. “Only if you share them with me. If you hadn’t have driven such a hard bargain, we wouldn’t have anything to fight over anyhow.”

Finally, Sturges set the box on the counter. “I know there’s no arguing with you. Wasn’t that just the point I was tryin’ to make?” He laughed. “Fine. Five for me, five for you.” They both reached in and plucked a berry.

“Cheers.” Giving a mock toast, she popped the berry into her mouth. It wasn’t the sweetest thing she’d ever tasted, but compared to anything else she’d sampled from the wasteland, it was by far the best tasting. Her eyes closed as she savored it.

“Better than the molerat?”

“If I said ‘no’, would you even believe me?”

Sturges shook his head with another laugh. “Nope.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because have you SEEN a molerat? Would YOU eat that?


	6. Living

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vera is trying to put together some fun things for the neighborhood. Long story short, she's useless at that sort of thing. Sturges lends a hand helping her complete her vision and digs into why she's so intent on putting up that basketball hoop...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a.k.a. A justification as to why my Sole Survivor spent entire in-game days just fixing up Sanctuary instead of hunting down her son lol

She had no idea that metal post was going to be so HEAVY! She’d slid one end of the post over the hole she’d dug next to the smooth, flat foundation of a destroyed bungalow, intending to lift it up and in. Then, she’d hold it in place with one arm while pouring the opened bag of cement to stick it into place. Seeing as she could barely lift it, she had no idea how the entire plan was going to work.

“Ms. Vera, are you all right?” If she were being honest, it was a huge relief to hear the handyman’s voice drifting over to her.

“No…” she grunted, still struggling with the post and unable to turn and look.

Two very strong and muscular arms reached out and took the weight from her. With a frightening amount of ease, Sturges lifted it and positioned it just the way she’d intended, leaving her to back away, useless as she was. “Like so?”

“Yeah.” She couldn’t help but stare at this feat of strength, watching in fascination the way his muscles flexed as they supported the metal beam. “Now if you hold it there, I’ll pour the cement.”

Sturges hummed in thought. “If I may, Ms. Vera, what are you tryin’ to build?”

Vera blushed a bit. Truth be told, it was a very frivolous project, given how much still had to be done. “It’s going to be a basketball pole. This empty foundation looked perfect for a basketball court.”

“Ahh, I see. Might I make a suggestion?”

“You are the expert, Sturges.”

“Maybe we should attach the backboard before we put the pole up?”

The obviousness of this advice made her want to go crawl in a hole. Instead, she just buried her face in her hands. “That would make a lot of sense.”

His laugh was the kind of laugh that wasn’t meant to injure feelings, but to put a person at ease. He pulled the pole out and laid it on the ground. “And while we’re at it, it might be a better idea to find a lighter pole. For what it’s supporting, it doesn’t need to be so sturdy. Then it won’t be so hard to set straight in the concrete.”

“I didn’t want to bother you. I know how busy you are!” Vera blurted. “This really isn’t an important project, so…”

“Hey, you aren’t in Sanctuary all the time. If you’ve got a few ideas, I reckon we can spend a day tackling ‘em. It ain’t exactly a matter of life or death at this point anyhow. So…any other ideas you want to work on today? I’m free.”

The thought of Sturges just spending the day working on things with her made her inexplicably happy. “Only if you promise not to laugh when I tell you.”

Sturges placed a hand over his heart. "I promise."

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

“So, I found all these pool cues…”

“Probably ‘cause people are usin’ them as weapons these days." 

Vera sighed. “Yeah, pretty much. The barbed wire was a pain in the butt to try and remove. But we don’t have to use them for weapons; we should use them for their intended purpose. I also found a bunch of balls, and a rack. You’ve got a huge space in your living room, and I think we could fit a pool table, if you don’t mind it being in your house. Kind of a…rec room of sorts. Think you can build a pool table?” “I got more room in here than one man needs. I could totally whip somethin’ up,” he agreed good-naturedly. She looked relieved. “Awesome! Then, I’ll just be over here building a magazine rack. I’ve found a bunch of magazines while cleaning out buildings, and I feel like instead of sitting in my cabinet at home, they should be available for people to read. If this is going to be a rec room, I thought I’d keep them in here.” Sturges just nodded and smiled. He wasn’t going to break it to her, but he was already planning on fixing the shelf when she wasn’t looking. 

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

“And one more…there. Now nobody’s fallin’ off the side,” Sturges declared as he gave the railing a jostle. It didn’t budge an inch.

“This is so awesome! Can’t you just see Jun coming up here to unwind, even without a fishing rod?” Vera hurried up the steps to the pier, which extended from a hole in the brick wall along the river. In her arms she juggled two fishing poles and a life preserver, with a metal bucket dangling from one arm. When she reached the platform, she carefully arranged everything before sitting on the bench. Sturges shuffled over and took a seat next to her. The sun was already starting to set. It had been a full day of projects, all of which were for entertainment purposes. Now that he had a moment, Sturges got to wondering about that.

“Can I ask ya somethin’ Ms. Vera?”

“Yeah?”

“You’ve been worryin’ about finding your son and gettin’ strong enough to head out there. I know you wanted to help us set up shop in here so you’d have a safe place to stay, but none of the things we did today were particularly practical.” He held his hands up. “Not that I’m complainin’ or anything. I think this will really boost morale. But I’m just tryin’ to figure out why you wanted to do it.”

Vera was silent for a moment, staring down into the water. “One reason is completely stupid. I remember life before the Great War. I remember what life could be. None of you know any better, and what you think is luxury is barely scraping by based on those standards. I want to show you that there is more than what you’ve come to accept. …Is that a bad way to think?” She peered into his face anxiously, as if afraid of his judgement.

Sturges just shrugged. “Good or bad, it doesn’t matter. It just is, you know? I’d imagine it’s a natural way to look at things given the situation. And we sure as hell aren’t gonna complain about getting’ treated!” He continued to watch her solemn face. “And the other reason?”

“Well, something you told me really stuck with me. I asked you what came next after we finished making Sanctuary habitable, and you said figuring out how to live instead of just survive. I don’t want to forget how to live because I’m so focused on surviving, and I want you guys to live too. And when you told me that I’d given everybody the first good time they’ve had in a long time, that really stuck with me too.”

Sturges couldn’t believe his ears. He hadn’t made those comments trying to make a point or be profound, but it seemed Vera was taking it all to heart. He got along with everyone, but couldn’t think of anyone besides Preston who’d ever taken his thoughts so seriously. He didn’t know what to make of that. “Well, I’m glad I could help ya. It was nice to do some fun projects for a change. Maybe once we get some electricity going we could have some more fancy things, get the place looking like a regular Diamond City. You can be my advisor, seeing as you are the expert on luxury. How’s that sound?”

“I’d like that a lot. Thank you, Sturges.” Finally, the woman so wrapped up in her despair that first week was looking at peace, and her smile made a blossom of warmth unfurl in his chest. “For keeping me grounded. For keeping me sane.” Her hand came to rest on his shoulder for just a brief second, as if trying to convey her feelings in another way, before she shuffled off down the pier. “Have a good night, Sturges. See you in the morning before I head out.”

For once, Sturges was the one at a loss for words. Well, it seemed he’d be the first one to use this pier as a place for gathering thoughts…


	7. Giving Wars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Small favors turn to big favors between Sturges and Vera. She finally plays her trump card: the Red Rocket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, people complain that the Workshop DLC is useless and not worth it, but I'm the one person that was like "Yes, I can now construct couches and tables that look like new! The addition of posters was also a nice touch, and I did go to town making Sturges his own man cave ;)

How had it come to this, the intellectual lawyer who had always pawned off household repairs to her husband, fixing up an abandoned gas station on her own? Vera searched her memories of the last few weeks as she screwed the hinges of the door into place. When she finished, she gave it a few experimental swings, then latched it closed. Sure, it still needed a bit of oiling, and it was a bit crooked, but still she felt a swell of pride at this minor accomplishment. Ta da! Instant bedroom instead of just an office. Sure, there were probably better ways to be spending her time, but in her defense, this battle of gifts had made her a far more resourceful woman. Really, though, where had this all started?  
The Red Rocket thing definitely started when she accompanied the crew of settlers from Concord to Sanctuary. Even after complaining about being in the ass-end of the Commonwealth, Sturges had voiced his appreciation for the run-down gas station as they passed it on their journey, expressing a desire to make it his vacation get-away. For the tinkerer that he was, this shop filled with equipment and materials was as close to paradise as he could get. She wondered if he had forgotten this comment, or if he assumed no one had paid it much attention, as desperate as they were at the time for food and shelter. She certainly hadn't.

Then, the giving of gifts took root. She supposed the first move made was Sturges fixing up her armor after the mirelurk incident. Her response was to start filling his house with well-preserved sets of clothes she found in her scavenging, and whatever dishes and appliances he didn't already possess. Sturges got first dibs after she took what she needed. He must have noticed, despite not saying a thing about it, because when she returned from her next trip, she found her ceiling patched up, actually providing a solid roof over her head when the rain came that night. Early the next morning, she assembled a tool box with every possible item he could need inside: fuses, circuit boards, military-grade duct tape (and oh, that was a hard one to part with!)…

Then, she left for a few days, settling some issues for the Abernathy farm. What she found when she arrived home made her jaw drop. Her couch and armchair had been completely re-upholstered in the same burgundy colored cloth they had been originally. All the tables and dressers had been sanded down and stained to their intended golden-brown finish. New drawers were installed, laying even and no longer half missing. Even the stereo player had been done up, restored to former glory and in actual working condition! Vera was quick to shut the door so the tears could fall unobserved. It still wasn't the home she'd evacuated 210 years ago, but it was a hell of a lot closer than it had been.

That was the final straw that led her to the Red Rocket. She was going to give him his vacation destination, meant for no one else but him. She spent the day putting in a few vegetables and a water pump, sectioning off space inside the store for a bathroom, and moving out cabinets so a bed could fit in the office. She even put up the vintage Corvega posters she'd found for good measure before stocking a spare dresser from Sanctuary with additional slacks and shirts. Gloria was going to bring a spare generator from down the road the next day so he could get some power, and an extra turret for protection. It wasn't perfect yet, but she supposed it was pretty darn good. She smiled in satisfaction as she carefully placed the toy truck on top of the dresser. Game over, she was winning this one.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

"Hey Sturges, you busy?"

Sturges looked up from his welding station, set down his equipment, and pulled his goggles off. "I mean, I'm just trying to get a few pieces put together for an upgraded turret system. Followed by some programming for the terminal. Followed by installing a few more lights around the pylon. Followed by..."

Preston waved dismissively. "Sturges, I think you need a break. You've been working non-stop since we arrived in Sanctuary. In fact, some nights I swear you aren't even sleeping. Got some secret projects or something?"

Sturges scoffed. "Boss, you know I wouldn't be doin' it if I didn't want to."

"Well, either way, I'm supposed to deliver a message. Vera's requested you head down to the Red Rocket. Wants you to see something."

This piqued Sturges' interest. "Ms. Vera? Where is she, anyhow?"

"She told me she was headed down to Lexington to clear out the Corvega Plant. Won't be back for a while."

"Oh." He did his best not to sound too disappointed. He also felt a flare of concern; their band of refugees had temporarily settled in Lexington before being driven out by hordes of feral ghouls. It was not a safe place to be for too long.

Preston continued, ignoring his pause. "So, humor the both of us, put the tools down, and go take a walk, okay?"

This earned a huge sigh. "If you insist, boss."

Preston slapped him on the back. "Trust me, Sturges, the work will still be here when you get back."

And so Sanctuary's resident tinkerer hunted down Dogmeat for protection and companionship and began his trek across the bridge. It occurred to him that he hadn't actually crossed it since the night they'd arrived to this neighborhood seeking refuge. There hadn't been a reason to; there was always plenty that needed doing. What could be so important at the Red Rocket that Vera would request his presence there? Did she have a project in mind for him to do?

He was so deep in thought that he almost ran into the brahmin. "Mornin' Sturges. Where are you headed?" It was Gloria, coming in from her first trade route of the day.

"Oh, mornin' Gloria. I was told I was needed at the Red Rocket. No idea why, though," he shrugged with a smile.

"The Red Rocket? I just delivered a generator and a turret over there. Maybe Vera wants you to fix up some power or something, make it a first wave of protection."

That made sense. "Could be. Shame she isn't here to fill me in.”

“Thinning out the raiders again?"

“Boss tells me down in Lexington."

"Uff. Rough neck of the woods. She can handle herself though. She’s getting tougher, and doing it quicker than I’d thought." Gloria shielded her eyes as she looked to the sky. "Morning's almost over. I'd better get moving. Have fun playing around at the station."

Sturges waved goodbye as ghoul and brahmin shuffled towards Sanctuary for their next load, pondering what she'd said. Perhaps she was going to assign the newest settlers here to space them out a bit.

It took him a while to notice once he arrived, but eventually he did as he strolled into the garage. Things were cleaned up, no surprise there. Vera liked salvaging useful things and purging the clutter. She'd put in a garden and a pump, so no doubt she intended for the place to be lived in. What shocked him was the sight of her second suit of power armor sitting in the garage. How was he supposed to keep it in shape if she stored it down here? A quick investigation of the giant tool chest revealed an entire arsenal of anything and everything for the aspiring mechanic. He couldn't think of anyone else that might be able to make use of this, but surely…

He moved inside the store, finding dishes and mugs laid out neatly on the counter, and several appliances ready for use on top of the cabinet. Then, he saw it, the thing that put all doubt from his mind: a door with his name spelled out in lettering. The breath was caught in his lungs for a moment, but he reached for the doorknob and let the door swing open. What he saw was so surprising that he didn’t even notice the way that it hung crooked. This couldn't be real. All the things he needed, and more. All the decorations perfectly matching his aesthetic. Lights and a fancy pillow and a terminal even!

Sturges walked over to the bed and sank down in a daze, his eyes continuing to study this perfect space. Even back in Quincy, he'd set up shop in an abandoned church, with people coming and going to use the equipment inside and only a little nook in the back for his bed and a few clothes. He couldn't remember the last time he had a space that was his and no one else's. He flopped back so he was staring at the ceiling. His. He didn't even really have things that were his. That wasn't a privilege afforded to many in the wasteland. Vera... He threw an arm over his eyes. Damn that woman! Why was she so good to him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was hard to decide to move him in game from Sanctuary to Red Rocket. For my own happiness, in this story he's keeping dual residences.


	8. Tea for Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Vera can't find Codsworth in his usual places, she finds him in a most unexpected one, specifically with a most unexpected person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based on in-game dialogue between Sturges and Codsworth. I just couldn't resist!

Where in the world had that robot gotten to? Vera could always count on Codsworth to be patrolling the area around the dead-end circle, perhaps pausing to trim a bush or pick up a stray piece of debris. That was one of the perks about robots; when they had their routine programmed, you could pretty much count on them doing what you’d expect. Today, however, he was not floating around the guard post, nor was he in any of the neighboring houses. In fact, Mama Murphy said she hadn’t seen him all morning when asked. Vera had something she needed to tell her Mr. Handy, but puzzled and at a loss, she decided to try again later that afternoon. Perhaps she’d just go home and get her things packed for their upcoming trip to Diamond City.

As she went to open the front door to her house, she paused, frowning. There were voices inside! Who in the world… Did Jun get lost again? She turned the knob and opened it hurriedly, and when she did, she was greeted with a sight she could never have seen coming. One of the chairs around her dining table was pulled away so Codsworth could hover in place as if seated at the spot. Across from him and actually sitting in a chair was Sturges. When he heard the door open and saw her walk in, he immediately looked apologetic. In fact, he practically jumped to his feet.

“Ms. Vera, I didn’t mean to intrude while you were gone. It’s just that me an’ Codsworth here were just catching up over some tea, and…” She stopped processing his words after that last part. For the first time, she noticed the mugs in front of each of them, particularly comical considering Codsworth could not actually drink anything.

“Tea?” she blurted, trying not to crack up when both parties seemed so sincere. It was not easy.

“Well…yeah. I’ve been after Codsworth to get together and get to know each other a bit better, considerin’ we’re neighbors now and all. The fella’s really been takin’ care of the place since the Great War, you know? He invited me over. We thought you were going to be gone longer. Not that we were trying to take advantage of your house while you were gone, it’s just that Codsworth said the tea was in here, so…”

“Codsworth, we still have tea?! You didn’t mention that!” Vera squawked, putting her hands on her hips.

“Of course, mum. Right where you left it two hundred and ten years ago,” Codsworth replied seriously. “You never asked me to make you any, so I never did. Shall I perhaps brew you a cup?”

Vera pinched the bridge of her nose. “The tea in the back cupboard must have slipped my mind over the last two hundred and ten years. Don’t worry, if it’s all right with you I’ll just drink yours.” She paused, eyes widening. “You didn’t actually drink your cup, did you?”

“Don’t be silly, mum, robots can’t drink!”

“Hey, I’ve seen some weird things since I stepped out of the vault. I’d believe it if you told me you could!”

“Well, I can assure you, mum, I just put this mug of water in front of myself for ambience while Mr. Sturges enjoyed the real deal. I did not waste a bag of perfectly good Darjeeling on myself. Allow me to heat up some water outside.” With that, Codsworth left his spot at the table, grabbed the teapot on the counter with his pincer appendages, and floated on out the door. That left Vera and a very bewildered Sturges.

The man scratched his head and chuckled nervously. “I’ve learned my lesson: don’t ever make jokes to robots. They take things very seriously…”

“What do you mean?” Vera wondered. She came over to the table and pulled up a chair next to Sturges.

“Thing is, I was joking about the whole getting together for some tea. Not the getting together part, mind you, just the tea part. You know, that accent of his, it just seemed like…ah, never mind. That nice fella actually made me tea, though I didn’t realize it was yours. I am sorry about that.”

“Don’t be. It takes some getting used to when you first start dealing with Mr. Handys. When Nate and I decided to get Codsworth right around the time I was pregnant, we were actually very nervous about having a robot in the house. Like you said, they don’t always process things the way you intend.” Vera stopped and shook her head with a smile. “But now, he’s like part of the family, even if he can’t interpret all my human emotions. I can’t tell you how thankful I was when I showed up after all that time in the vault and found him here still trying to tidy up.”

“I’ve discovered we’re like kindred spirits, him an’ me. Just wanna keep things looking in top shape.” Sturges seemed to relax.

“Yes. The coincidence that both my Mr. Handys got together for tea is not lost on me!”

The faintest hint of a blush dusted his cheeks. “Well, it does make me feel better about picking up and moving down the road, knowing the place is in good hands. Er, claws? Pincers?”

Vera laughed. “Either way, I know what you mean. Though I’m sorry to say I’m stealing Codsworth for a few weeks. That was what I was hoping to tell him, but I couldn’t find him because he was here having his little social hour!”

“That’s a long time to be gone, Ms. Vera. Where are you going?” Was it just her, or did his mood dampen at that news?

“We’ve finally cleared a path to Diamond City with plenty of settlements along the way. It’s time to start searching for Shaun, and I want Codsworth to do it with me. Shaun was Codsworth’s family too, and he should be there even if he isn’t a Mr. Gutsy. I know for a fact he has flamethrower capabilities and buzz saws in case the going gets rough.”

“Well, then I wish you all the best. Mama Murphy is right, there’s no better place to start looking than Diamond City.” Suddenly, Sturges got to his feet. “Be safe out there, Ms. Vera. You always have a place to come back to if you need it. I’ll make sure of it.” There it was, an unmistakable hint of melancholy showing in his typically cheerful face. She did not like the look of it one bit.

Before he could walk away, she reached out and grabbed his wrist. “I’m not leaving for good, Sturges. It might be a longer trip than what I’ve been doing so far, but this is still my home. Also, why the rush to leave? Won’t you stay and watch me drink tea?” 

Her facetious remark brought the smile back to his face. “Only fair, seein’ as we didn’t invite you to our party.”

Vera snorted and pulled him down. When he was seated again, she covered his hand in hers instead of letting go. He'd never taken off his leather work gloves, not even to share a hot beverage with a robot. “But in all seriousness, thank you for being so kind to Codsworth. It means a lot to me.”

Sturges just shrugged. “I’m just treating him with respect, seeing as he does so much for us. It’s really no big deal.”

“Aww, that’s why I…” She suddenly stopped. She’d almost said ‘love you’, and it would be taken the wrong way. Unless she actually meant it? But that would be impossible after only a month and a half… Quick, something else! “That’s why you’re the best.”

If he noticed her catch, he didn’t show it, and thankfully Codsworth entered with a steaming mug right on cue. “Here you are, mum. I’m afraid I can’t stay and chat, the posies were looking simply dreadful and I’ve blathered on all morning with Mr. Sturges. I do hope it is to your liking.”

“Thanks Codsworth. Don’t stray too far, I’ve got to talk to you later, okay?”

“Okay, mum, can do!” The robot scurried out the front door, leaving just the two humans and a single steaming cup of tea.

Vera inhaled, appreciating the aroma she’d missed for so long. “Does it still taste good?”

“Tasted fine to me. Better than half the stuff I’ve eaten at least.”

“Hmm.” She paused thoughtfully. “It isn’t an actual tea party until we bring out the cakes. You want to share some Fancy Lad Snack Cakes? I know for a fact I have some in my cupboard. Stole them from a raider stronghold.”

Sturges grinned. “Now THAT is better than 99.9% of the stuff I’ve eaten, and I couldn't tell you what that other tenth of a percent would be. Darn right I will!”

It ended up being the laziest morning Sturges ever had, being that he got invited to tea twice, but unlike normal he wasn’t going to complain. It would be a long time before Vera came back, and he’d be burying himself in his work the entire time she was away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...Codsworth accidentally hooked up Vera and Sturges on a date, even if not one of those three realized it :)


	9. Pie in the Sky Hopes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vera needs help getting into a Port-A-Diner for the pie, and she knows just the man for the job. If it works, she might just let him try a bite!

“So, Sturges…” Vera was looking nervous as she stood with her hands behind her back, raising and lowering on her toes. “What are the chances of getting you to take a field trip?”

Sturges had stopped screwing together the parts for his unknown contraption when she’d announced her arrival to the Red Rocket. Now he cocked his head and got off of his stool to approach her. “What do you need this time, Ms. Vera?” His tone was teasing, but even so she studied the ground.

“It’s kind of silly…”

“Ms. Vera, you ALWAYS think your requests are silly, but they always end up being important in a round-about way.”

“What if I told you it involved pie?”

“Pie?”

“Pie.”

Sturges rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Okay, that I didn’t expect. But I’m sure there’s a good reason…”

“I miss pie. I saw it and I wanted it but I can’t get at it. I need your help.”

Sturges often laughed as a way to ease tensions and reassure people, but she’d never heard him laugh the way he did just then, full and all-consuming. In fact, he had to lean on the counter to support himself he was so taken. Vera could only stand and watch in bewilderment until he could straighten up and wipe a tear from his eye. “A fair reason. I’m supposing you saw it in one of those Port-A-Diners, am I right?”

Vera folded her arms defensively. “Yeah. In a freight truck just near the Drumline Diner. It’s not too far…”

“Hmph. There’s a reason the pie is still in those things. Nobody can break it out, least of all those raider morons.” Suddenly, a wicked smirk crossed his face, an expression she had never seen on him to date. “If your reason is pie, mine is a challenge. Let me pack up my tools and we’ll see if I can’t outwit this contraption.”

Her face lit up. “You mean it?”

“There’s nothing more pressing at the moment. And besides, a change of scenery might be nice. Are the roads pretty secure?” For a moment, his confidence flickered. “I ain’t exactly handy with a gun.”

“I visit the diner all the time to haggle with Trudy. The entire area is pretty well cleared out. Just in case, though, I’ll go and fetch Dogmeat.”

This seemed to ease his nerves. “Okay. You do that, and I’ll get my things.”

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Sturges had been working at the thing for a while now. Vera wasn’t sure what to do, seeing as he was so focused on his work that even a simple observation was met with little more than a grunt. A few times, he’d asked her to pass him a tool as he lay underneath and finagled with some unseen bolt or latch. Even with Dogmeat laying nearby and chewing contentedly on a branch, she didn’t dare leave Sturges alone in case a raider or wild dog came along. In the end, all she could do was sit on the edge of the truck bed and dangle her feet, trying not to think too hard about what that pie would taste like. It had been so long… She knew people were trying to survive and make do with what they had, but seriously, nobody in this post-apocalyptic world continued baking?

A sudden thump and a clatter of metal jolted her out of her thoughts. “Bingo.”

“You’ve got it?” she asked hopefully, spinning around in place. All she could see was his hand giving a thumbs up sign.

“Those were some stubborn mechanisms, but even a machine that withstood the nuclear war can’t withstand my work. Hold on, I’m gonna slide out with the display tray…” It was a difficult feat, and it seemed to take longer than it actually did given her anticipation, but at last Sturges and his well-built physique inched out from under the machine. Following him was the display tray, and right on top of the display tray was that glorious piece of preserved pie topped with a pristine dollop of cream. Pumpkin, apple, cherry, she didn’t really care what kind it was.

“Are you gonna eat it right away?”

Her response was to whip out the forks she had stashed in her satchel.

Sturges held up his hands in mock terror while chuckling. “Well then, I ain’t gettin’ between you and the pie, woman.”

Vera sighed dramatically and rolled her eyes. “In case you missed it, I have TWO forks, Sturges. I’ll give you a hint; one of them is not for stabbing the pie thieves.”

He pointed at himself in genuine surprise. “Me?”

“Of course! We wouldn’t have pie if you hadn’t liberated it. Besides, when was the last time you had pie?”

“Never.”

Her eyes widened in horror. “Never had pie…” She passed the fork and uncovered the plate. “It’s time for your rite of passage then. Once you take a bite, there is no going back.”

Sturges for his part was skeptical, but he didn’t argue with the slightly-crazed woman before him. He took the fork she offered and both dug in for that first bite. They even put it in their mouths at the same time. As they chewed thoughtfully, both did their best to keep their faces neutral. Sturges swallowed first, followed by Vera. “So, how was it?” she pressed.

The poor man gave a helpless grin and shrugged. “It’s really sweet. Like, even sweeter than them Fancy Lad Cakes. I don’t know if I can handle it, to be honest.” He had a point; he’d grown up with a pretty bland diet after all. “How about you? Is it everything you remembered?”

It would have been so easy to lie, but if Sturges had been honest… “It’s not as good as I remembered!” she moaned, burying her face in her hands. “Like, it’s preserved so that there’s no mold or anything, but it just isn’t the same. Maybe it never will be unless someone bakes it fresh. I’m so sorry for dragging you out here and wasting your time for a bust, Sturges.”

“Waste my time? Vera, this was a fun day even if the pie wasn’t all that great!”

Her head shot up in surprise. “It was?”

“Of course it was. I got to take a trip, we got to hang out…” Dogmeat interjected with a whimper, reminding them of his presence. “…with Dogmeat. And I got to solve a puzzle. That does stoke my ego a bit.” Sturges winked. “All in all, I’d call it a good day.”

She sighed in relief. “I’m glad you had a good time. But now, here’s the million dollar question: what do we do with the rest of it?” Both of them looked down at their plate, and then to Dogmeat, who was now sitting straight at attention, his tail wagging slowly behind him as he gave his best puppy-dog eyes. They simultaneously nodded in agreement and set the plate on the ground. Dogmeat had no complaints.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think Vera or Sturges realized I just set them up on a date ;)


	10. Showing Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst! Vera comes across something that puts here in a funk, and when Preston can't figure it out, he asks Sturges to. The confrontation turns into a heated argument, an emotional collapse, and a stronger relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This time, based on true events as I went through Fraternal Post 115. I read that terminal entry and gaped in horror at the tv screen on behalf of my poor Sole Survivor!

“General, do you mind if we stop by Sturges for a moment before heading back to Sanctuary?”

Vera blinked. She’d been lost in her thoughts, as she had been for the last day or so, just following Preston blindly as they headed home from their latest exploit. “Sure, I guess. No rush here.”

Preston was surprised she didn’t seem more eager. While she started out reserved towards the group of settlers in Sanctuary, Sturges had been the first one to get her to open up. They gradually began to do several projects together, until everyone save those two saw it for what it was: they enjoyed each other’s companionship. The very fact that Vera didn’t seem excited to visit him only strengthened his conviction that something was wrong with her, which was the whole point of stopping to begin with.

“Great. I’ll just be a minute…”

“Actually, it’s not a far walk. I think I’ll just head back to Sanctuary on my own. I’ll meet you there.” Vera resumed her mindless amble towards home, leaving Preston even more shocked. This was serious, whatever this was.

With a renewed sense of urgency, he rushed into the garage of the Red Rocket. Even though the radio was blasting the classical music station and the sound of his saw tearing through some wooden boards added to the noise, Sturges sensed if not heard his colleague’s arrival. “Preston, you back from that last mission so soon?” he called once he turned to see whose presence he felt.

Preston reached for the dial of the radio so he could get some quiet. “Yeah.”

“Did you have any luck getting Oberland Station on your side?”

“Yep. We cleared out the supermutants that were harassing them without too much of a problem. Those brutes are strong, but not the brightest. I’m pretty sure the leader tripped on his own pile of clutter when he charged us.”

“Awesome! That’s what, like the fifth settlement besides Sanctuary we’ve got now? The Minutemen are really taking back the Commonwealth in a big way!” Sturges punched a fist into his palm enthusiastically.

“Yes, I knew the General would make an excellent leader. She hasn’t failed us yet.”

Sturges’ grin faded, and he craned his neck to peer around Preston. “Say, where is Ms. Vera? She didn’t split off from you and go doing anything crazy, did she?”

Preston shook his head. “She just went straight back to Sanctuary after I told her I was stopping by. That’s what I wanted to talk to you about, actually.”

Sturges was an easy-going man who rarely let things bother him, but he was looking concerned now. “Is she okay? Is something wrong?”

“I don’t know! I’m pretty sure. I mean, she smiles, but it looks so fake even I can tell. She’s been fiddling with something in her pocket constantly. And she’s been in her head the whole trip back. You say something, and she doesn’t process it. Even just now, with her going ahead instead of stopping to chat, that’s not normal. I just don’t know what’s eating her, and I don’t know how to ask. That’s why I wanted see if you’d help me get to the bottom of it.”

“Why me?” Sturges wondered incredulously. “You were there. Didn’t you see anything that might have upset her?” Preston just shook his head. “When did she start actin’ weird, exactly?”

“After we stormed the Fraternity Post.”

“Right after the battle?”

Preston thought for a moment. “She was fine immediately after we finished off the last of them. It wasn’t until she did some scavenging that things got off.”

“She musta found somethin’ that upset her, huh?”

“Hmm, that would make sense…but what?”

“Just ask, boss! It’s as simple as that.” Sturges folded his arms.

“Is it really? Do you actually think she’d tell me what’s wrong? I’m pretty sure she’d just say everything is fine and keep doing a lousy job of pretending.”

“And you think she’d tell me?”

“Yes. She trusts you more than anybody Sturges.” When his friend looked surprised by that remark, he snorted. “You don’t see it, do you? If there is anyone in the wasteland that can get her to talk, it would be you. Please, Sturges, she needs to get her head on straight. It’s dangerous for her to be so distracted.”

The mechanic closed his eyes and seemed to think on it for a few seconds. “If you really think it’ll help, I’ll try. But don’t expect a miracle. Ms. Vera’s got a lot she doesn’t wanna share with anybody.”

Preston clapped him on the shoulder. “That’s all I ask.”

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Vera was lying on the couch with his army fatigues pressed against her chest when the knock on the door nearly had her flying off in surprise. Damn it, who was bothering her at this hour? If it was Preston, she was going to be pissed. He should be able to take the hint that she wanted to be alone… Hastily, she stashed the fatigues under the couch before straightening up and heading over to the door to open it. Seeing Sturges standing there with his hands in his pockets made her feel an unanticipated wave of guilt. 

“Sturges? What are you doing here at this time of night?”

“I’m sorry to bother ya, Ms. Vera. I know it’s getting late and all. But honestly, you wound me! Walked right on by the Red Rocket without sayin’ so much as ‘hello’?” He tried to keep his tone light and playful, but his eyes said otherwise. She could feel them scanning her up and down.

“I didn’t think you were the type to take offense so easily,” she replied, leaning against the doorframe. “I was just tired, that’s all.”

Sturges frowned. “Listen, Ms. Vera, I’m not gonna beat around the bush. Preston is worried about you. Says somethin’s wrong, but you won’t say what. I wanna make sure you’re okay, and if you ain’t, I wanna know if there’s anything I can do to help.”

Vera was about to say something unnecessarily snarky, but she noticed movement out of the corner of her eye. Captain was doing his rounds, and he was looking in their direction curiously. “Get inside,” she hissed, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him in. She shut the door with a resolute click before eying up her accuser. “You want the truth? Then I won’t beat around the bush either. I’m not fine. And there’s nothing you or anybody else can do about it. Just leave me alone and it’ll pass, got it?”

Even in the dim light, she could see the hurt in his eyes. How could he make her feel so much guilt with just that expression alone? “Then I suppose I’ve wasted my time. I just thought that maybe I was someone you could…never mind.” He turned to head right back out the door, but he paused with his hand on the knob, still facing away. She liked it better that way, so she wouldn’t have to look at him and feel bad. His words more than made up for it, however. “Keepin’ everything that hurts you to yourself will make you go crazy, Ms. Vera, and even if you think it’s helping the people around you to keep it locked away, it ain’t. I promise you that. You’re makin’ it harder on all the people that care about you.”

“Don’t you dare say that!” she snapped, a flare of irritation coursing through her. “As if it would be fine to whine about my loss when everyone else has been through just as much, if not more? Say all you want that it would help, but it won’t; it’ll just be a burden when everybody’s got more than enough to deal with.”

“So why is it that your loss is worth less? Like you can put your grieving on a scale and rate yourself lower?” Sturges spun around now, and she had never seen him upset like this before. It wasn’t that his physical presence was threatening in his anger, but it was more of the idea that such a calm, patient person had finally lost it that put this on par with a suicidal supermutant about to explode.

“I don’t belong in this world to begin with! I’ve had nice things, a perfect little life, when all of you guys have known nothing but this godforsaken wasteland! Who would want to hear about my ‘problems’?”

“I would, damn it! I’m BEGGIN’ to hear ‘em, but you won’t open up! I swear, you wanna be a martyr! And you know what else?” Sturges took a step forward, and suddenly he seemed so much larger than her. Any words in argument she might have had died in her throat. 

“You wanna talk about deserving to grieve? I’m the only one who doesn’t deserve to grieve! You lost your family and entire way of life. Preston lost his mentor and the entire organization he believed in so strongly. The Longs lost their son and their home. Even Mama Murphy keeps taking those chems just so she can keep seein’ all the terrible things that are gonna happen so she can try to stop ‘em, and half the time she can’t so she just has to live with the guilt. What have I lost? I had some friends back in Quincy and a nice workshop. So, which of us should be the one smilin’, trying to support everybody else while they get through their losses, keepin’ ‘em from giving up on life? ME, Vera, not you. You’ve suffered enough. It’s MY responsibility. Nobody else has a problem putting it all on me, so why can’t you do the same?”

Vera had no idea if it was the words he said, or the pain with which he said them that caused her to break. All she knew was that she was falling to her knees and openly sobbing, and it felt like being cast adrift in a wild sea with no lifeline. She wanted to scream that it wasn’t fair for him to call her a martyr when it was him the whole time, but even if she could decide on the words to use, she couldn’t physically utter them.

Meanwhile, she had no idea the regret and shame that filled him as he watched her crumble before his eyes, the woman who had always been strong and who always took charge. Now, he’d gone and made her cry, and he felt like a monster. The worst was not knowing what to do or say to make it better. Finally, he decided to get down on his knees so he wasn’t so physically intimidating and shuffle closer to her. 

“Ms. Vera, I spoke outta frustration, and I said things I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” He wished for nothing more than to reach out to her, to comfort her the way he had once when the radiation storm swept through and she’d trusted him. The fact was, she didn’t trust him, not with this, and he needed to accept that. He’d only made things worse by demanding too much. “Tell me to go if you don’t want me here and I won’t say another word, I’ll just pick up and go. But if I can do anything for you, you know I would…”

“I knew they were putting it all on you, that’s why I couldn’t,” she managed to choke out between sobs. “If only you knew how much I wanted to…”

That gave him enough courage to reach out to her, and when he gingerly touched her arm, testing her level of comfort with the gesture, she flung herself against him, clinging on for dear life. “There was a terminal…at the Fraternal Post. You know me, I hacked it because I’m nosy. There was an entry…they were excited about Nate’s speech…the one he was practicing in front of the mirror the day the bombs fell…” He felt her shudder against him, and he wrapped his arms around her.

“What was he like, Ms. Vera?” Sturges murmured. “Fraternal Post…he was military?”

“He served in the army, but had just retired. We met in high school. He was always so confident, but never arrogant. No wonder they wanted him to give a speech; he could charm anyone.” With each word, each memory revealed, her breathing seemed to steady. “Could have been a real ladies’ man, but he picked me. We dated a long time. We waited until we got our careers started before we got married, and Shaun came not long after that. Nate was so excited, he took the year off for paternity leave.” Finally, Vera slumped against Sturges. “I miss him. Our life together was just getting started. I think of all the things we could have had, but we never will.”

“You’ve been keepin’ busy with the Minutemen. You haven’t given yourself the chance to think about it, have you?”

“No,” she whispered, barely audible against his coveralls.

She felt Sturges sigh. “I pushed too far, too hard, and I am sorry for shoutin’ at you like that. But I stand by what I was tryin’ to get across, even if I went about it in the wrong way in the heat of the moment. You’ve gotta find an outlet before it becomes too much. I don’t wanna see you get hurt, and that’s the truth.”

Vera finally looked up, eyes red and puffy, but also narrowed. “So be it. But don’t think I forgot all that you said. If I can’t handle my own problems alone, how are you supposed to handle them, and Preston’s, and the Longs’, and Mama Murphy’s? Sturges, no human can take all that on. You need…to take care of yourself too.”

There was no response to that, because she was not wrong. Just because he felt superhuman some days, working through the night, barely eating, never getting sick despite all the efforts he put in, that didn’t make it right when he wouldn’t let anyone else do the same. He hung his head. “Okay, so here’s the deal: you’ll let me know when something is botherin’ you, and I’ll get a hobby that doesn’t involve helpin’ anybody else but myself. Sound fair?”

“What kind of hobby would you get?” Vera asked quietly. “After all this time, I don’t even have a guess; you never do things for fun.”

“Well, makin’ stuff and fixin’ stuff is fun for me. But if I had to do something selfish, I’d…fix up one of them old Corvegas. Get it runnin’ again just like they used to, go drivin’ down the road and blowin’ past the radstag with the radio blastin’…”

“Rocket 69!” she added, finally with a smile. “They’d all go scattering. And all the merchant caravans on the road would scurry to get out of your way, staring in awe.”

“Think I could do it?”

“I know you could do it. Maybe sometime I should take you to the factory in Lexington, now that I cleared out those Raiders. They’ve got all the parts and everything.”

“I’m gonna hold you to that, Ms. Vera.” Sturges held out a pinky, and she actually laughed as she returned the gesture, sealing the promise. Her idyllic life was long gone, but maybe there was still hope for this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you know how hard it is to write an argument, especially one involving Sturges?


	11. Atom Bomb Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sturges and Vera see each other in a new light when that song comes on the juke box. This might complicate things...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woot, cue the beginning of romantic feelings! I have no regrets about building up a relationship first, and I think it is crucial for the rest to have an impact, but let's be real, I'm excited to finally arrive at this point!

Sturges was not the traveling type despite his physical appearance; being holed up in his workshop was something he was much more accustomed to, making repairs and constructing things for the place he called home. Considering his aversion to weapons and violence, and the dangerous nature of the wasteland, that was probably for the best. However, he was currently en route to the Starlight Drive-in at the fringes of the controlled Concord area, and there was only one explanation for this unusual turn of events: Vera.

Yes, whenever Vera asked for something, he’d end up doing it. Perhaps it was because she rarely asked for things, and so when she did he wanted to make sure he rewarded her openness. More likely, he enjoyed seeing the happiness it brought her when her visions for the world around her came to life. They were the kind of visions only someone who had lived before the Great War could have, and they were also the kind only he with his mechanical savvy could pull off. Today’s goal was bigger than most she’d brought before him, one that involved him coming all the way to this Minuteman outpost that was currently serving as a hub for trade. Even still, he hadn’t hesitated to agree, because above all else, he believed in her ideas.

“There, see the giant screen?” she pointed ahead, dispelling his thoughts. “They used to play movies on there, and people would watch them from their cars. Actually, there are a couple of pretty nice remains I left for you to take a look at instead of scrapping for metal. Thought you might get some ideas for your hobby, you know?”

Sturges raised a hand to shield his eyes. Sure enough, what looked like a gigantic billboard rose from the distance. “Thoughtful as always, Ms. Vera. That’s good; then you can’t holler at me for workin’ too hard on your to-do list because I’ll have some cars to play around with during break time.”

Vera turned and made a face, but it was so close to a pout it was hardly offensive. “Glad you were listening to me.”

“Now Ms. Vera, you know I always listen to you,” he chided, ignoring the implications of her statement. He was set to have a good day, not to relive the spat they’d had not that long ago. She’d done her part by coming to him with this idea, and he was going to do his by not pushing himself too far. In an attempt to keep the mood light, he reached over and rested a hand on top of her head. “Get a generator up and runnin’ near the diner, put in some lights, turn that water filter industrial grade, and most importantly of all, piece together a jukebox with a decent selection of songs. Then, people who are stopping here along the trade route and any other travelers on the road can have not only a safe place to stay for the night but also a good time. Did I miss anything?”

She swatted his hand away, albeit playfully. “Thanks for agreeing to this. I know traveling isn’t your favorite thing, but no one else could make this happen.”

“Hey, I’ve got a pistol packin’ mama and a vicious attack dog to keep me safe. It ain’t the walkin’ that I don’t like, after all.”

“I know. I would never send you anywhere dangerous, not even with me and Dogmeat.” She fell silent a moment before pointing once again. “And over there you can see the diner part, can’t you? That’s where the fun stuff’s gonna go.”

Sturges squinted at the building further in the distance. The Drive-in was apparently quite a large tract of land. No wonder Ms. Vera had decided it would make an ideal commercial center! The closer they got, the more details he could make out. The guardpost on top of the screen, allowing them to see danger from a great distance away. The fields of crops along the northern edge, and the settlers bent over as they tended to the plants. The shacks for the workers lined up near the water source. It looked as if she’d even added some spare quarters on the roof of the diner along with another guardpost. All this, and she’d done it on her own. He was impressed, even if he did plan on checking everything to be sure it was structurally sound…

It was as if she could read his mind. “Don’t look too closely at the stuff I tried to put together with the settlers. It isn’t exactly Sturges quality work…”

“To be fair, there’s only one of me and several settlements under Minuteman control. Few people are blessed with my handiwork.” When she saw that he was trying to fight back a teasing smirk, she elbowed him in the side, triggering a laugh. “And honestly, the way you turned this dead spot into such a bustlin’ center, you’ve really got a flair for infrastructure plannin’, don’t ya?”

“It’s not rocket science…” she mumbled, suddenly embarrassed. “Just the basics, like you taught me back in Sanctuary.”

He didn’t try to push the point. “What’ll you be up to while I’m keepin’ busy?”

“Running up by Trudy’s place, supplying the cabins, maybe getting a few lounge areas set up near the diner.” She paused as they reached the chain-link fence surrounding the back of the screen. “This is where I’ll take my leave then. Just ask the settlers, they’ll show you where to find what you need. I made sure you’d have all the tools you could need when I got the place established. If you get hungry, I left a few hunks of grilled radroach and some Nuka Cola in a cooler in the kitchen. Try not to get carried away!” With a wave and a wink, she and Dogmeat turned and headed west.

Sturges shoved his hands in his pockets and began to cross that wide expanse between the screen and the diner, feeling instantly uncomfortable with the stares he was getting and wishing he still had Vera and Dogmeat at his side. The stares quickly turned into a small crowd that dropped what they were doing and approached him, finally halting his journey. “Hey, are you…that Sturges guy from up in Sanctuary?” one particularly bold woman asked, looking him over from head to toe. It was entirely unnerving.

“Yeah, that’s me,” he gestured to himself. “Ms. Vera sent me here with some projects in mind. Said you guys would be able to point me in the right direction?”

“Wow, I can’t believe you came out here to help us! We’ve heard so much about you!” another man chimed in. “Ms. Vera says you fix up power suits and build generators and got all of Sanctuary shining with electric lights! She says you’re the best of the best!”

It took a lot to get Sturges riled up, but he could feel his ears burning at this praise. It wasn’t that his companions in Sanctuary didn’t appreciate what he did, but they never made a show of it. He felt like some kind of celebrity. Ms. Vera was describing him with such high praise to others? “Ms. Vera is an optimistic woman, to be sure.”

“Ain’t that the truth! But without that optimism, we wouldn’t have a place like this to call home. All of us were on the run from the raiders and the ghouls, just trying to live another day. But now we have a safe place to sleep at night, reliable food and water. What’s more, she told us you were comin’ to wire up the place with some electricity! She’s a gem, ain’t she?”

Finally, he thought, the praise was where it belonged, and he could get behind that whole-heartedly. “She is. She is.” No one in this world shone as brightly as she did, even with the pain he knew she carried. At that, he cracked his knuckles. “So, let’s show her that her optimism isn’t misplaced, right? Let’s give her the Starlight Diner she’s imagining.”

“Yeah!”

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Vera scurried around the property the entire day, distributing goods to the households and adding some cosmetic touches. Each time she walked outside, she was greeted with the sight of every resident hard at work, from those preparing a big meal in the kitchen to those holding up fixtures and passing tools to Sturges. The water filter had already been upgraded by the time she got back from Trudy’s, quadrupling its output. What a wonderful thing for the people on the road stopping by! She’d have to heighten security, but it was worth it.

At last, she grabbed some boards and walked over to the diner, intent on sectioning off some booths. Most of the crowd had left to do their normal duties, leaving just Sturges and the jukebox and the purr of a new generator. “Hey there, stranger,” she grinned, leaning her boards against the roof supports. “I see you fit right in.”

The handyman looked up from his work and returned the grin. He’d managed to get his face streaked with oil somewhere along the line, but she realized the look suited him. “You’re gonna be mad, Ms. Vera, but I haven’t stopped to look at cars all day. Once I test this jukebox out, I think everything will be done.” Sturges dusted his coveralls off. “I think you should be the one to do the honor of picking the first song.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Why me? You’re the one who built it.”

“But you’re the one who inspired it.”

He looked at her so earnestly that she could feel her face redden. “I think you’ve been listening to those settlers too much.”

“They’re grateful to you, and any fool can see how deep that loyalty runs. Now, go pick a song, won’t ya?”

There was little point in arguing, so she shook her head and came to stand before the machine. Even without the music, the colorful lights it produced created a happy atmosphere around it. It was as if by some magic she and Sturges were whisked away to one of those diners from her past. Ah, she knew just the song… Making her selection, she watched in fascination as the arm inside the machine reached for her holotape and secured it in the player.

Bomb, the atom bomb, the atom…

As soon as the first notes sounded, she got a huge, brilliant grin that stretched from ear to ear. Without even thinking, she began to bob in time, snapping her fingers along with the rhythm. Suddenly, it was as if Sturges was seeing her for the first time, the woman that had always existed behind the layers of pain and discipline. The first lines of the song somehow hit him right in the gut.

Got a doll baby, I love her so,  
Nothing else like her anywhere you go.  
Man she's anything but calm,  
A regular pint-sized atom bomb!

Vera noticed him gawking, and her grin turned to a scowl. “What, haven’t you ever seen a girl dance before?”

“I…well…” he stuttered, trying to swallow but not having luck seeing as his mouth had gone dry. It was everything, all hitting him like that atom bomb. The way the people adored her, the amazing things she’d accomplished in such a short time, realizing she was out of her armor for once and wearing a simple flannel shirt with jeans, the way she’d been radiating joy. “A girl, yes. You, no. I like it.”

Her scowl softened. “You know, you could join me. Jitterbugging is not that hard.”

“Ah, well, I’ve got two left feet, as they say. All the space in my brain is taken up with mechanical stuff, not much room for learnin’ how to dance…” He scratched his head and looked away.

“Oh get over here and at least nod your head in time or something. I don’t want to do it alone!” She reached out and grabbed his hands in hers, but despite how much bigger he was, he was so off-balance that he didn’t take much effort to move. “Come on, I’ll show you real slow.”

So she illustrated at half-speed as the song kept rolling. He stared at her feet so intently she thought he might burn a hole through her boots as he stumbled to imitate in reverse. Vera had never seen him so red, definitely from embarrassment more than exertion, but as she’d guessed, he didn’t give up. He never did say ‘no’ when she asked him for something. When that thought hit her, she felt her heart skip a beat. He really would do anything for her…

Meanwhile, between the pattern of the steps, pieces of the song would jump out and slap him upside the head. It was her. It was all her.

Atom bomb baby, boy she can start  
One of those chain reactions in my heart.

Atom bomb baby, sweet as a plum,  
Carries more wallop than uranium.

She's just the way I want her to be,  
A million times hotter than TNT.

Before they knew what was happening, the song was over and a round of applause took its place. The pair looked up, startled by the audience they hadn’t noticed forming, and then promptly wished for the ground to swallow them. Their world in the glow of the juke box was not theirs alone after all. But that wasn’t the end of the torment for Vera.

The mechanism in the juke box automatically reached for the next track, and as soon as the soaring horn lines reached her ear, she realized with horror what was coming. No, not here, not with everyone watching! Sturges followed her frantic movements in confusion as she threw herself at the machine to stop the track from playing. She hit the ‘pause’ button particularly hard. “It works!” she declared to the settlers gathered around. “There you have it, our work here is done! I mean, Sturges’ work here is done! So, how’s dinner coming? We’ll have to head back to Sanctuary soon…”

“It’s ready to go! Come on, let’s send the both of you off with a proper celebration!” Both Vera and Sturges found themselves suddenly escorted over to the counter and pulled apart from each other, both very confused about what had just transpired, and casting apologetic glances at one another.

What’s more, Sturges ran the line of music through his head, ignoring the friendly chatter of his hosts, desperately trying to recall which song that was that had Ms. Vera in a panic. Hopefully he could sneak away before they left so he could look it up, then move it so it wasn’t directly after ‘Atom Bomb Baby’. She’d been so happy during that number, whatever it was that came after shouldn’t cast a shadow over something so beautiful.

As for the rest of the feelings, that he’d have to deal with them later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anybody want to guess which song came on next?


	12. Shot Through the Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raiders are attacking Sanctuary, and Vera gets word that the Red Rocket has fallen. Suddenly, it's a race against time to rescue the one person she realizes she just can't live without.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I preface this by saying that any explanations of shooting technique came from brief scannings of internet articles and is by no means meant to be in-depth accurate. It serves a plot point and nothing else.

She saw the flare go up to the northwest, burning bright red against the night sky, and she knew even before she tuned into the radio that Sanctuary was in trouble. Without a word of farewell, she took off running from the Starlight Drive-in where she had been about to call it a night, Codsworth hurrying behind her. “A distress signal, mum?”

“The kind only the Minutemen use,” she panted. As she ran towards Concord, she was already futzing with her pip boy to try and get the Sanctuary broadcast. She had to know more before she showed up guns blazing. The signal from that distance was weak, but still intelligible, and Preston’s voice was unmistakable. It made her heart ache as she remembered him using the same tone of desperation the day she’d helped to save them from the Museum of Freedom. These guys could not catch a break.

“To anyone out there, Minutemen, mercenaries, or other citizens of the Commonwealth, Sanctuary is under attack by a large band of well-equipped raiders. We are currently holding them back but cannot break their forces without reinforcements. The Red Rocket has fallen…”

Those words made her blood run cold. The Red Rocket, fallen? Did that mean that…had he managed to escape, or…was he still alive? Her sides were burning now as she ran, and she cursed her lack of endurance. How much longer would they be able to hold out? Why hadn’t she created more defenses at the Red Rocket? Why did she let him stay there alone? So many doubts and regrets swirled around as she gasped for oxygen.

She didn’t want to know how long it took for her to reach the northern edges of Concord. All she knew was that she had to steady her breathing so she wouldn’t lose the element of surprise. Logic would dictate a few raiders would stay at the Red Rocket to hold it while their comrades pressed on ahead.

“Codsworth,” she hissed. “I need you to go on ahead and scout the area. Pretend to be a mindless cleaning robot or something. It’s not like you’re a Mr. Gutsy, and raiders aren’t that bright. Find out if Sturges is still in there, and if so, where.”

“I’m on the job, mum, never fear!” Codsworth gave a resolute spin before hovering in the direction of the store. Once he disappeared over the crest of the hill, she could hear him give a monotone “La-dee-dah” to announce his arrival. Thank God that if they shot, he could be fixed. As Sturges always said, people didn’t fix so easily. Damn it all, Sturges… Vera nearly collapsed right outside the old molerat den below the hill. She silently apologized to Preston for not showing up right away, but she couldn’t imagine not taking care of this situation first.

Time seemed to crawl. How long was she going to give Codsworth before sneaking in herself? There hadn’t been any gunshots… She was about to snap when she heard that same “La-dee-dah” at a distance. Vera scrambled up the embankment to find him hovering near the back guardrail.

“Verdict?” she whispered as loudly as she dared.

“Back wall of the office,” was all Codsworth would dare respond. His ability to control his volume was not sophisticated, and he didn’t wish to press his luck.

Vera gave a huge sigh of relief. He was alive. “How many raiders?”

“Two.”

“Where are they?”

“In the office with him.”

“All right, you go first. They expect you, and your ambient noise will cover me to a degree. I’ll try to get a good angle, and when I fire, that’s when your buzz saws come out. Got it?”

“Yes, mum.”

“Then let’s hurry. The sooner we clear these guys out the sooner we can lend a hand up the road.”

Codsworth took the lead as they made their way to the side entrance of the shop. Before he rounded the corner, he grabbed an empty bottle from the fridge and produced purified water from his condenser. “Sirs, I have brought your water.”

“’Bout damn time,” a rough voice from the other side of the wall could be heard complaining. “Let’s have it, then.”

“Of course, sir.” And with that Codsworth disappeared from sight. Vera took advantage of the opening and crept with her back pressed against the outer wall of the office. During a particularly loud hiss of steam from Codsworth, she unlocked the safety of her 10mm pistol. The next few seconds were a blur as time came to a halt.

She peered just far enough around the doorframe to catch one of the raiders in her sights. Her finger pulled against the trigger. She prayed that she wouldn’t miss. She begged God not to let him get hurt if something went wrong. She flashed back to a day a few months ago…

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

“Damn it!”

Another shot, another miss. No matter what tricks she tried, closing one eye, steadying her breathing, using a second hand to steady her aim, she couldn’t hit the bottle she’d set up on a pile of rocks. She’d seen a lone raider training in this way not far from Sanctuary, and thought it would be a good idea to practice seeing as she was so new to the whole shooting thing. It wasn’t going well.

“Target practice?”

She had been so focused that she accidentally pulled the trigger again at the sound of the voice, missing by a considerable distance. The bullet bit into the bark of a half-dead tree. “Hey! That was a wasted shot!” She turned and glared at Sturges, who had been the source of the distraction.

“Hmm, you know, if you get that focused out in the wasteland, somebody’s gonna get a jump on you.”

She growled in annoyance, knowing full well how right he was. “I suck at this. I’ve never used a gun before. I don’t even want to think about how much ammo I’m wasting, and bullets are hard to come by…”

“Why don’t you start a little closer?” He leaned against the nearest tree and tilted his head.

“I have to be better at a distance! If anything gets too close to me, well…I’m dead if it comes to close combat. I’ve got to be a sniper!”

Sturges hummed in thought. “You ever hear of firing from the hip?”

“Hm?”

“It’s more closed quarters, but still keeps a bit of distance, and it works a lot better with a pistol like the kind you’re using. I’ve fixed up enough of ‘em in my time to get the picture of how it works. Some people find it primitive, the whole point-and-shoot thing, but maybe for now while you get used to firing it would help you to think of it that way instead of aiming so carefully.”

It seemed strange to be getting advice on shooting from a self-declared pacifist, but she wasn’t going to question. He probably had a point about experience from making gun mods. “So, what do I have to do?”

“Close the distance a bit. Start with the gun at your side. Then, without thinking too hard, just…raise and fire while you stare that target down. I’m not sayin’ it’s gonna fix everything right away, but it’s an idea.”

“Okay…”

“And while you keep at it, I’m gonna get some more bottles. I think by the end of the day you might be needin’ some.”

In the end, she’d gone from missing 9 times out of 10 to hitting 9 times out of 10 and running out of glass bottles. It took a long time and a lot of patience, but the pistol was finally starting to feel natural. She just hoped that it still would when things got hairy…

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

BANG! She didn’t sit and aim it, she just focused on his ugly head and pulled the trigger. At such a close range, it hit home, sending blood everywhere. Codsworth’s reaction time was impeccable, as befit the pride of the General Atomics, and before the second raider could figure out what was happening, he dropped the water and had his buzzsaw rending his head from his shoulders. Only then, in the split second both raiders’ bodies hit the floor, did she risk a look at Sturges.

It turned her stomach in knots as she looked at him, thinking about how he’d most certainly held up his hands and surrendered without a fuss, only to be secured and tossed against the wall in this manner. Despite the handcuffs restraining him, the raiders had apparently taken one look at his muscles and decided that wrapping extra duct tape around his forearms for good measure was necessary. His ankles too had been cuffed and taped, and he sat with his knees drawn up to his chest. To top it off, they’d wound even more duct tape over his mouth and around his head several times over in an attempt to silence him. He was not silent now.

“Mmm-MMM-mmmph!” He shifted as best he could and looked up at her with wide-eyes. Spatters of blood from their recent assault blemished his innocence, and the entire sight nearly made her vomit. This never should have happened to him, she shouldn’t have been so careless, she could have lost him… And that last thought filled her heart with more agony than anything else.

Her hands shook so hard that the pistol clattered to the ground, and she fell to her knees in front of him. “Codsworth… Go join the fight up at Sanctuary. I’ll be right behind you as soon as I take care of him.”

“Of course, mum. You can count on me. And Mr. Sturges, I am relieved that you are all right.”

She fumbled in her pack for her switchblade as Codsworth made his exit, intending to start cutting away the duct tape. Even though she retrieved it, she could barely hold it steady, she was still shaking so badly. “God…” she murmured, realizing that in her current state she might just cut him instead of the tape. It killed him to watch, knowing he was unable to reach out and hold her close to calm her down, that he was unable to voice any words of comfort and reassurance. Finally, after several deep breaths, she flipped open the knife and started at his ankles.

“Sturges,” she began, but stopped as soon as it became evident she didn’t know how to articulate the vortex of emotions. Instead, she ripped off the duct tape. Setting the knife down, she next dug around for a bobby pin to handle the cuffs. If using a knife was hard with shaking hands, this was impossible. With time ticking, knowing she was needed… Tears slid down her cheeks before she even knew what was happening. She continued to fumble around, breaking more bobby pins than usual until she finally heard the click she was looking for. She could worry about the other side later.

She next set about prying the tape from his face. She couldn’t use a knife for this, only her trembling fingers. Thank God for his hair gel, which kept the tape from sticking to his hair too badly. Once the tape was peeled away, she realized to her disgust that the raiders had also shoved a rag in his mouth to keep him quiet. Already he was doing his best to spit it out, and she finished the job.

“Ms. Vera…it’s okay now,” he rasped, throat dry from the entire ordeal.

“It’s not okay, you could have died!” She roughly turned him around so she could get at his arms. This time, the flick of her knife was resolute.

“But you came for me, and…”

She jammed the bobby pin in the next mechanism. “I can’t lose you! I can’t!” The silence after her declaration hung heavy until the desired click echoed in the room. “I need to get up to Sanctuary and join the defense. You, go hide in that old mole rat den. I’ll send someone for you when it’s over. If no one comes by this time tomorrow, make a break for the Abernathy farm. Do you understand?”

“Ms. Vera, you can’t fight in this condition. You’re gonna get yourself killed!”

But she refused to turn around and address him as she got to her feet. She couldn’t afford to. “Do as I say. We don’t have time to mess around.” And before he could argue, she was out the door, wiping stray tears from her face. Talking to him was only going to make things worse right now, and she had a deep thirst for vengeance. Time to make some raiders pay for this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next segment will be a follow-up, in case you are concerned about a proper resolution. I know I am!


	13. Heart Sick

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All the stress from the Raider attack has compromised Vera's immune system. A.k.a. the obligatory sick-fic / last chapter's follow-up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if you've heard, but here in the Midwest, it is FREAKING COLD. Like, so cold that even WE think we've landed in Dante's innermost circle of hell. Good news for you readers, because in the last seven week days, this teacher's school has cancelled five times and delayed once. Lots of time to write and update, so we all might be getting spoiled here!

Had it been hours? It felt like hours. The sun hadn’t come up yet from what he could tell by looking at the entrance to the den, so he continued to study the junk accumulated in the middle of the pit by the light of an oil lamp. He’d already taken inventory ten times over, and while he was doing that, he was mindlessly rubbing at his sore forearms where the duct tape had taken its fair share of arm hair off. It was all he could do, and he had to so he didn’t sit and dwell on his worry. He didn’t THINK they were a particularly tough group of raiders (it was pure happenstance that they came upon the one person that wouldn’t fight back, really), but then again Ms. Vera might have tripped on her own feet the way she’d left the Red Rocket. That couldn’t have all been about him, could it?

“Sturges! You in there?”

There was no mistaking Preston’s voice, or his silhouette against the pre-dawn light. “Boss! Is everybody okay?” He scrambled for the exit.

“We’re all fine, no casualties. Lots of property damage, but no casualties. But thank God you’re okay! When Codsworth came bringing word, we were so relieved you can’t even imagine!” As soon as Sturges emerged, Preston had him locked in a mighty hug that was all gratitude. “Are you hurt at all?”

“It’s not bad, maybe a few bruises will pop up tomorrow, and the duct tape didn’t do my arm hair any favors, but I’m perfectly fine.” Well, he was also a bit shaken, but that wasn’t something Preston needed to know.

“Good to hear. You’re going to be busy, not like you aren’t busy on a normal day. Come on, let’s walk. They’ll all want to see you’re okay.”

They began to head up the trail to the main road, being careful not to trip on debris in the dim light. He wanted more than anything to ask about Ms. Vera, but that wouldn’t be fair. “I’m assumin’ the turrets are gonna need some attention?”

“You assume correctly. And the guard posts are worse for the wear. Most of our guys have armor that will need repairs as well. The General is rounding everyone up and figuring out a plan of attack, so to speak. She also wants to put out a radio broadcast on our signal to publicize the fate of those raiders. Let people know Sanctuary is not an easy target. She’s hoping this will teach others a lesson, and I agree.”

“It’s smart,” he mumbled. It was hard to imagine her rallying the settlement when his last image of her was of her being a complete wreck, but he didn’t doubt she’d pulled it together. She always seemed to despite what was thrown at her. He wanted nothing more than to rush across the bridge and find her, pull her aside, talk her through things, hug her… None of that was possible though, not if he didn’t want to draw attention she didn’t need right now.

And so he was greeted with cheers, slaps to the back, and big hug from Mama Murphy (and suddenly he didn’t doubt so much her stories of being Murphy the Madwoman, with arm strength like that!). Even Marcy gave him a punch on the shoulder, no doubt her sign of affection. Only one person was missing, and of course it was Vera. That left it to Preston to disperse the group, advising everyone to get some much needed rest before starting repairs.

“You too, Sturges. You’ll have a busy afternoon ahead of you, so you’d better try and get a few hours of sleep. I know it won’t be easy. Here, we left your room even after you moved down the road. We’ll get you and the General to meet up later, okay?”

“Okay,” he replied half-heartedly. 

Once he laid down on his old bed, he stared at the ceiling for a good four hours before giving up and getting to work.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

It was well past noon when he finally caved and approached Preston again. Most of the settlers had been up for a while now, and Codsworth had been keeping him company since the moment he got out of bed. Surely he’d earned the right to ask for Vera now that both turrets were back online and the damage to the generator from stray bullets had been taken care of. He hunted around Sanctuary until he found him giving the traders a send-off down by the bridge. “Hey, boss!”

“Mornin’…err, afternoon Sturges. You haven’t wasted a moment, have you? Some days I think you’re superhuman!” Preston laughed, and Sturges was glad to see after the chaos of last night that his friend was in good spirits. “What do you need?”

“I need to speak with Ms. Vera. Where is she?”

Preston’s smile turned to a frown. “I’m sorry, it turns out she’s feeling under the weather. I think it’s best to let her rest and not bring up any work business today.”

Sturges inhaled deeply. Sick, no doubt from the stress and the panic. “It’s not about work, Preston. I need to talk with her.”

His friend sighed. “She really needs to be taking it easy…you sure you aren’t going to get her wound up?”

Sturges narrowed his eyes. “Boss, she can’t be any more riled up than she was last night. I wanna make sure she’s okay.”

Preston looked at him for a moment before shaking his head. “I’m sorry, Sturges, you’re right. You of all people should be able to visit; you’ve always helped her out in the past. She’s back at her place. Just, don’t wake her up if she’s asleep, okay?”

“I won’t, I promise.”

If she was asleep, he’d just plant himself in her living room and wait, because this couldn’t anymore.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Of course. When he’d knocked, there was no answer. Luckily she hadn’t locked the front door, so he invited himself in, easing it shut. Then, he crept down the hall and to her bedroom, not wanting to wake her, but at the same time not wanting to sneak up on her if she was awake. “Ms. Vera?” he whispered loudly. There was no response beyond some seriously labored breathing. Shit, she’d gone downhill fast…

When he rounded the corner to her bedroom, he stopped and studied the lump under the blankets, leaning on the doorframe. She was huddled in a ball, and all he could see with her face turned away was a mop of auburn hair in complete disarray. Out like a light. Now what was he supposed to do?

Well, earlier that morning Captain had recommended a good smoke to relieve stress; now was as good of a time as any to test that… He pulled out the flip lighter he always carried and the package of cigarettes Captain had given him from the pocket of his coveralls and began the process of extracting one to light. It caught without too much effort, and he brought it to his mouth. He inhaled. He instantly started coughing. How did Trashcan Carla do this?

“Damn it, I told you not to smoke in the house…” Vera grumbled without moving. Before he could apologize in a panic, she continued. “I don’t want Shaun breathing in that junk.”

Oh. She wasn’t quite awake, and she was thinking of someone else, probably her husband. “I…uh…hold on…” Sturges looked around franticly for an ashtray or something to douse the cigarette on. Finding nothing, he hurried out of the room and out the door so he could extinguish it on the sidewalk, only a quarter of the way used. That was NOT how he had planned on this going. 

Scratching his head sheepishly, he re-entered her house. When he arrived at her bedroom for the second time, he found she had rolled over and was studying him with eyes only partially opened. “You’re not Nate,” she observed in a hoarse voice. Then, she knit her brow. “I didn’t know you smoked.”

“I don’t,” he gestured helplessly. “Smoking is an expensive habit these days, and it also has a tendency to ignite paint fumes.”

“Then why…?”

“Captain lifted a pack off one of them dead raiders and told me I should give it a spin. Said it would help me calm down. I think I’ll pass next time.”

“Captain? Why am I not surprised.” Vera frowned, pulling the blankets tighter around her as she shivered. “Don’t even start. That was one habit I could never convince Nate to give up. It might just be worse for you than the Mentats. Then again, you’re more likely to die of a hundred other things in the wasteland before the cigarettes kill you…” A shadow crossed her features, despite how pale she was. “I take it you’re still pretty wound, huh?”

“I figured checking in with you would help that, but honestly, you’re not lookin’ much better than you did the last time we parted ways.” Was it a trick of the light or the fever, or did Sturges look…sad? “You’ve done burnt yourself out this time, Ms. Vera. It’s my fault.”

Vera started to say something, heavens knew she had enough she needed to say, but instead she began to cough. “Good Lord, woman, there’s gotta be somethin’ we can get you.” Before she could protest, he took two long strides and was at her bedside pressing the back of his hand against her burning forehead. “Hang on, I’ll be right back.” She noticed him fumble for his handkerchief as he exited the room, then resigned herself to close her eyes. She only opened them again when she felt a cool dampness dabbed against her forehead.

“Sturges…”

“I’ve done enough for ‘em already. They’ve got their turrets and generator operational, and the armor can wait a little longer.” He paused thoughtfully. “Actually, I might be able to work on that in here, come to think of it…”

“You’re going to get sick,” she protested weakly.

He pointed to himself proudly. “Ask anybody. I’ve never gotten sick as long as they’ve known me. In fact, I don’t remember the last time I got sick. If anybody is gonna take care of you, it’s gonna be me, so don’t even bother arguin’.”

Honestly, she didn’t have the energy for it, so she just nodded.

“I’m just gonna go get some purified water for ya, and some armor to work on, and then I’ll be right back. Do ya need anything to eat? I bet Mama Murphy can whip up some of that Radstag Stew…”

“Just the water for now.” He turned to leave, but even her feeble whisper stopped him in his tracks. “Wait.”

“Yeah?” Despite how nonchalant his words had been, when he turned back to look at her, she could see all the concern still present in his deep brown eyes.

She wanted to explain everything, to tell him that even though she had been emotional last night, he shouldn’t dismiss what she was trying to say. All that she managed was “I meant what I said. Yesterday, you know.”

She didn’t need to spell out what she meant; not only did he know, he had been replaying those words in his head all morning while lying in bed. He stood straight at attention, like a boy about to be punished. “I won’t stay at the Red Rocket overnight until we work on security. When I go, I’ll always take Dogmeat or Codsworth with me, and I’ll be sure to tell Preston before I leave.”

This finally drew a fragile smile from the infirm. “Thank you.”

He remained serious. “I don’t ever wanna see you hurtin’ like that again.” With that made clear, he took his leave.

Vera felt her stomach turn, but she couldn’t tell if it was part of the sickness or her own emotions. All she could do was lie on her back and study the ceiling. “Nate, what’s happening?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I know the concept art and a lot of fan art has Sturges smoking cigarettes to play to that greaser image, but honestly, I just lost a cousin to stage 4 lung cancer and I'm not willing to go there. Also, I noticed in the prologue when Fem SS activates the cigarettes, she says "Now who left those here?" in a sort of disapproving tone, so this is my head cannon with Nate.


	14. Dirty Wastelander

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Party at Sanctuary means drinks and Sturges dressing up. This ends up being a recipe for disaster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst ahoy! But hopefully the kind that hurts in a wonderful way and makes you appreciate the good times to come, am I right?

“Hey, have you thought about what you are wearing to the social tonight?”

Sturges had heard that Ms. Vera was back in the neighborhood after pushing through enemy territory to get to the detective she needed. He’d also heard they were going to have a celebration to honor her success and the true beginning of the search for her son. He hadn’t actually seen her all morning, as their paths never seemed to cross, but the voice interrupting his painting job could only belong to one woman.

He turned his head to acknowledge her as if she’d been behind him the entire time. “You mean I’m not showin’ up in this ensemble?” As he spoke, a drip of paint landed with a plop on the toe of his work boots.

Vera marched up to him and gave him a firm poke to the shoulder. “I give you clothes for a reason, Sturges. This is like the one opportunity you’ve got to try a different look!”

“Hey, I know how to present myself in the most flatterin’ way.” Sturges grinned as he made a show of flexing his arms. Given the short sleeves of his undershirt, his bulging biceps were on display as always.

Vera couldn’t help the snort that escaped her. Honestly, she couldn’t deny that it was true, he played the part of hunky handyman to perfection, but there was no reason for him to know that, nor was there a reason that thought should have crossed her mind. A few seconds later, the thought was gone and she was outright laughing as his flexing caused more drops of paint from his brush to splatter his coveralls. 

“Surprise me. I’ll be interested to see which outfit you pick out.”

“No pressure…” he wrinkled his nose, finally setting the brush down on the tray.

“Hey, if you cooperate, there might be a drink in it for you. We’ve got our new bar up and running, and it would be the perfect chance to try it out.”

“You don’t need to buy me a drink, Ms. Vera, I’ll get a different outfit!”

“Heh, I’ve got enough caps to buy the bartender out of everything he’s got. Granted, he’s got a small stock at the moment, but still.” Vera shook her head with a smile. “Everyone has been so helpful since I showed up. I think everybody’s got a drink on the house.” She turned to leave. “See you in a little bit, okay?”

Sturges watched her walk away for a few seconds, then looked down at his coveralls, scratching his head. He had some work to do.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

“How do you like the sound system, Mama Murphy?”

“What?! I can’t hear you over this music!” the old woman harped. 

Vera laughed and came to sit next to her at the table. “Sturges had a practice run over at Starlight, so he got this all set up real quick. Livens up the place, doesn’t it?”

“Someday, we’re gonna find more songs to play, or somebody’s gonna record some new ones. You live to be my age and you’ve heard them all a million times. Me, I’m just here for the drinks.” Mama Murphy chuckled as she raised her glass to her mouth.

“So, the new bartender is a welcome improvement then?”

“I’ll say. That one can mix a mean Dirty Wastelander.”

Vera raised an eyebrow. “A what now?”

But Mama Murphy ignored her. She spied a newcomer to the party behind Vera’s head, and she practically hooted. “Sturges! That you, son?”

When Vera spun to look for herself, her eyes fell on the nervous form of Sturges. Despite his size, he looked small as he kept his hands shoved in his pockets and looked around warily. He was definitely out of his element, and she recognized right away why Mama Murphy was raising a scene; not only was he out of his coveralls for the first time that she could actually recall, but he’d chosen a pair of nice slacks with suspenders. The dress shirt didn’t quite fit his muscular physique, so the sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. For whatever reason, her stomach did a small turn. “Damn, Sturges! I thought maybe jeans and a T-shirt, maybe a little flannel, but you showed up to play!” She shot up out of her seat before she even realized it.

He rolled his eyes as he came to a stop before the two women. “Says the woman in a pink dress. Like you’ve ever been out and about in a dress before.” He poked her lightly on the forehead. “Your idea, not mine.”

“Ah, she’s got all kinds of good ideas, doesn’t she?” Mama Murphy cackled, returning to her drink. “My favorite is still the bartender.”

“Oh, that reminds me! Mama Murphy said something about a ‘Dirty Wastelander’. I’ve never had one before, and apparently they are this guy’s specialty. Want to go with me and get one? Remember, it’s on me…”

“You honestly expect me to let you buy me a drink? Last time I checked, the gentleman buys the drink for the lady.”

“Oooh boy, here comes the entertainment!” The pair turned to look at Mama Murphy, then looked back at each other with a slight blush.

“Fine. I’ll buy mine, you buy yours. Deal?”

“Deal.”

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

She enjoyed the beverage enough to buy a second. For all Sturges’ bravado, he didn’t want to spend too much on himself, so he kept it to one and nursed it throughout the evening. It was interesting, he contemplated as he observed his companion mingling with the other settlers. She wouldn’t touch a cigarette, and the only chems she ever carried were for Mama Murphy’s visions, but she did enjoy her alcohol. He wondered if she had always been that way before the bombs fell or if it was some kind of coping mechanism after everything went south. It certainly seemed to loosen her up.

“Sturges!”

He jolted out of his thoughts. “Yeah?”

Vera placed her hands on her hips with a teasing grin. “Can’t hear over your own sound system? I’ve been calling you.”

“Ah, sorry. What’s up?”

“You still remember how to do the jitterbug, don’t you?”

“The what?”

“That dance I showed you at the diner. This is a good number for it, and I’d hate to have you fall out of practice.”

Sturges looked around at the crowd of people and swallowed nervously. “But…there’s people…”

“And? Let ‘em watch. You’ll look damn good.” Before he could protest further, she pulled him to his feet. In all fairness, she would never have been able to pull him up if he didn’t go along with it, but she was too buzzed to pay that any mind.

You keep a’ knockin’ but you can’t come in…

He automatically trained his eyes to the floor, watching her feet and hoping it would somehow come back to him. He had next to no recollection of what to do, but he did find that it took much less time to get into it than it had the last time. When he finally risked a look up, he was dazzled by the grin on her face. It was enough to have him missing a step and falling off the beat. “Sorry…” he mumbled.

“Don’t be. You’re trying. For me. That’s all that really matters.”

His mouth went dry again. Was this Vera talking, or was the alcohol making her say funny things? Either way, the song was over, and Travis Miles’ voice rang out loud and clear in a way Sturges could have sworn it had never done before. Maybe it was actually a new DJ?

If there’s someone special in your life, then this next song is for you. If there isn’t, feel free to take this opportunity to resent the happy couples around you. Here’s…

“I’m going to get another drink,” Vera interjected abruptly, drowning out the title of the song. Before he could say another word, she was making a bee-line for the bar. He blinked. Then, the same dramatic horn line from the diner met his ear. A few of the settlers with significant others were starting to sway to the slower ballad. He looked back at Vera, who was eagerly taking the glass from the bartender and beginning to down it. Things were starting to make sense.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

“Hey, Sturges.”

It was late, and in the passing beam of the security lighting, he could see the flush on her cheeks from the alcohol. They’d been split up since their dance, so he wasn’t sure if she’d stopped at three or not. The only thing he knew was that he’d much rather just talk to his friends over a nice molerat steak than get dressed up and deal with the lights and loud music. He’d wanted to take off a long time ago, but hadn’t wanted to leave without checking in on her one more time. Now, their paths finally crossed again.

“It’s late. You thinkin’ of callin’ it a night, Ms. Vera?”

“Yeah.” She yawned unabashedly. “I was wondering if you’d walk me home.”

Walk her home? She lived a few yards down the street! “If you’d like, I’d be happy to oblige.” Honestly, she was looking so tipsy those few yards might be difficult, and he’d feel better knowing she made it in the right house.

“Thanks, Sturges.” She hooked her arm in his and fairly led him in the right direction. Like hell she needed an escort.

Once they arrived to her front door, she turned and smiled sweetly. “I had a great time this evening. I’m so glad you came. You really do look amazing in that outfit.”

He was glad it was so dark, because he knew his face was turning red. “And that dress looks real good on you. Now we’ll just have to find another reason to get dressed up.”

“I hope so. I want to do this again.” She reached out and took his hands before he could react. “Thanks for walking me home. You really are a gentleman.”

Suddenly, he found her leaning closer, eyes falling closed as her mouth seemed to search for his. In another way, this would have been a dream come true, but this way… He pulled his hands out of her grip and took a step back, nearly sending her falling. “I’m sorry. You’re…you’ve had a lot to drink. I don’t think you…I mean, I don’t want you to…”

“I know what I’m doing!” she insisted, eyes now welling with tears and face burning with embarrassment at her rejection.

“You’re lonely, Ms. Vera.” And that was the hard truth. No matter what he wished, whatever he’d been imagining between them was just her trying to fill the gap left by her husband. He hadn’t realized how stuck on her he was until this realization punched him in the gut. “When the alcohol wears off, you would regret it. You’re still in love with Nate, and I’m not going to pretend you’ve moved on when you can’t even listen to that one song without reaching for the bottle.” He set his jaw. “Go to bed. Sleep it off. Dogmeat will keep you company.”

He couldn’t wait for a response. She wouldn’t give a logical one in this state. Instead, he marched off down the road, sticking in the shadows where the people still partying wouldn’t notice his state of distress or his own tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still dropping hints about that trigger song... Going to be a recurring theme. Also, fun fact: I sat down with all the male clothing I'd collected and had Sturges try on everything to see what I'd like best for this chapter. I'm such a dork...


	15. Hungover, Hanging On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Painful conversations with herself. Painful conversations with the spirit of her husband. Painful conversations with Sturges.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, this one was hard to organize... More necessary evil, I suppose.

The morning light streaming in through the uncovered windows only added to her pounded headache. Would taking some addictol help with a hangover? She sure didn’t need it to discourage her from pulling a stunt like this again any time soon. 

It wasn’t just the physical discomfort though, not by a long shot. All she could think about as she laid in bed was why she’d gone and made a move on Sturges. That was all she could think about last night too after he'd stormed off, and she’d cried herself to sleep without bothering to change out of her formal attire. He’d been the better man, he always was the better man. That was why she was finding she needed him in her life, but now she’d gone and ruined it by pushing for more than was proper in her inebriated state. But there it was, a vicious cycle, as the thought of losing her closest friend made her wish she hadn’t just sworn off the one thing that helped her escape.

That thought also made her wonder: if she hadn’t been drinking, would she have done that? The feelings came from a sober place, didn’t they? What other foolish things had she done while under the influence? It would be hard to look at herself in the mirror this morning and see the mess she was. Before the bombs fell, she liked a glass of wine or a shot of whiskey every day. It kept her loose, especially when she got to wondering if she was in fact a good mother and wife. After she showed up in the wasteland, it had taken a completely different turn. Every time she got her hands on a Stout or Lager, she drained the bottle before bed so she could sleep at night, letting the alcohol dull her pain. Last night was on a whole different scale though. The first two were planned, but then after that song came on…

She covered her face in her hands even though Dogmeat, currently sitting at the foot of her bed, wasn’t going to judge. Time was supposed to make this easier. It had been, what, two months now? On the other hand, two months wasn’t long enough that it was okay for her to be considering another man romantically. A large part of her wanted to pack her things and leave with Dogmeat without a word to anyone. Get back to finding Shaun, get away from the drama. But the insistent part of her that cared about Sturges knew that would be the most hurtful thing to do after her little performance. He deserved better than what she’d given him.

It was decided, then. She was leaving this morning for Diamond City, ready to work with that Nick Valentine detective, but before she left Concord she was going to have to stop by the Red Rocket. He’d be there, no doubt, especially after what had happened. Now, the only problem was figuring out what she’d tell him…

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

“Nate,” she murmured plaintively as she took a seat in front of the pile of stones she’d erected over his grave. Of course, she’d first checked to make sure no one was out in the neighboring yard to eavesdrop on her heart-to-heart. If she was talking to his spirit, she could do that anywhere, but for some reason it helped to be at his physical side. “It’s not fair. You’re never coming back, and I’m all alone.” She fidgeted with her hands, twirling her wedding band on her finger. “For God’s sake, I’m only twenty six! It’s not like I’m trying to seduce the man into bed, I swear! I just…he was right. I’m lonely, Nate. He’s been with me every step of the way. I mean, so have a lot of other people, but it just feels like…he SEES me.”

This was the crux of the problem: she had no idea how friendship had turned to a subtle yearning for something more. She and Preston were good friends, but she didn’t feel the same way about him as she did with Sturges. “I mean, I guess for my other friends, I’m just the General.” She paused to give a melancholy chuckle. “Don’t you get a kick out of that? Me, a General? Shit, Nate, it should have been you, not me. You’d fit right in. I bet you’d have found Shaun already instead of having to putter around trying to get stronger.” More tears stung her eyes. “I’m trying to do what I can but it never feels like it’s enough. But that’s just it, Nate. You would have held me close and told me that I was doing just fine, that we’d get through this together. I NEED that. And Sturges, he…” She wiped her eyes roughly. “He does that for me. He’s doing what you can no longer do. It’s not because I don’t love you anymore. It’s not that I’ve already gotten over you, because I don’t know if I ever will. I guess I just need to know that it will be okay. If you could send some kind of sign, that would be great.”

With a sigh, she got to her feet and dusted herself off. “I’m finally ready to get my search for Shaun underway. If you could play the guardian angel, that would be much appreciated.” As if on cue, she felt a nudge against her leg. She looked down to find Dogmeat, who cocked his head and gave a soft whine. Slowly, she reached down to pet him. “Right.”

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Vera stood outside the Red Rocket and took several deep breaths. The talk with Nate had sort of helped her get her ideas straight, but she knew as soon as she walked in they would scatter once more. Still, there was no avoiding this, not if she wanted to salvage their relationship, and she wanted that more than all the caps in the Commonwealth.

One more deep breath, and then she took the plunge. “Sturges!” She kept going forward even though she didn’t hear a reply. Perhaps ‘Mars, Bringer of War’ was blaring a little too loudly on the classical radio station. “Sturges! Could you turn that down? I’ve still got a headache from the alcohol. Ha ha, serves me right, doesn’t it?” Despite her attempt at confidence, she stopped just shy of the garage. She didn’t want to barge in; she’d forced his hand last night, and this time it was going to be on his terms.

There was a long pause, and she nearly lost her nerve and scampered back to the road. However, there was a sudden decrease in volume. “It’s that bad that you can’t come in, huh? Have you tried a hit of addictol?”

“Nope. A, I don’t have any, and B, I’m hoping the hangover is going to teach me a lesson.” Shyly, she peered around the corner and was nearly knocked back by the serious gaze Sturges was giving her. He was trying to wipe the oil from his gloves, and she realized quickly that he had been working on the suit of power armor she’d left in the garage. It looked shinier, newer somehow. “Hey, did you fix up my power armor?”

“I thought you might be takin’ off for Diamond City right away this mornin’, so I figured I may as well upgrade it for you in case you needed it for the road.” He turned away and absently began to polish the torso. “Gave me somethin’ to do seein’ as I couldn’t sleep. I’m sorry, I broke two of your rules, not sleepin’, and comin’ out here in the middle of the night.”

“Like I’m in a place to judge.” Her voice got quiet, and she leaned against the wall to brace herself. “Listen, Sturges, I put you in a ridiculously awkward position last night. Like, the worst. I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am for how I acted.”

“You know what I think? It was bound to happen sooner or later.” His hand paused its ministration, but he still didn’t look her way. “No use pretendin’ all them Dirty Wastelanders were to blame.”

Vera straightened up. “But that’s just it, Sturges. The drinks may have had me running my mouth off, but they didn’t put ideas into my head that weren’t already there. That’s why…” She paused, suddenly unsure of where she was going with this. “That’s why I’m going to Diamond City, just like you said. Because you always seem to know me better than I know myself, and that’s the problem. I need to figure things out, and I need the time to do that. I thought about it all morning and it still feels like I’m so far away from knowing.”

“That’s…I think that’s for the best,” he admitted softly.

“I’m not done, though,” she protested, finally vacating her spot on the wall and coming to stand right behind him. “I know I wasn’t totally with it last night, but did I judge it right? Did it seem like you might possibly…you know…reciprocate to a degree had it been in different circumstances?”

“Not if I end up losing a close friend because of it.” His shoulders slumped, and now he was leaning on the power armor rather than polishing it.

“Exactly how I feel! I told you already that I can’t lose you, and that can be taken in multiple ways, can’t it? But in all fairness to you, you need to understand that I am not shoe-horning you into Nate’s position. You were right, I am lonely. God, you know how much I hate admitting that? Sturges knew best, just like he always does. But there’s something you still haven’t figured out: it couldn’t be just any person to fill the hole Nate left. You’re not some casualty of chance, so don’t paint yourself the unlucky victim. I need YOU, Sturges, whether as a friend or…something more. Whatever this ends up being. Do you understand that?”

There was a long, tense silence. “It seems like I’ve got some thinkin’ of my own to do, don’t I?” Finally, he slowly turned to face her, a bittersweet smile on his face. “I’ve met a lot of people. I’ve helped a lot of people. They’ve appreciated it, and they’ve become my friends. But what you’re talkin’ about, someone NEEDIN’ me…that’s new. It’ll take time to wrap my head around it.”

“Then we agree to deliberate and see where a week or two leads us?”

“I suppose so.” He looked back at the power armor. “Just be safe, okay? I know how much you want to get your son back, but don’t take any unnecessary risks.”

“I won’t.” Because she knew for the first time since she escaped Vault 111 that there was another reason to keep on living besides Shaun.

“Good.” He stood there and folded his arms.

Vera raised an eyebrow. “That’s it? Aren’t you going to say goodbye or something?”

“Aren’t you going to throw yourself into my arms as has become a custom?”

Vera scowled. “I wasn’t sure if that was still an option after…things…”

Finally, he gave that warm, familiar laugh. “While that’s very polite of you, it’s fine.” Then, catching her off guard, he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her. “Take care out there, Ms. Vera.”

“Sturges?”

“What?”

“Stop calling me Ms. Vera. I think we’re at a point where regular old Vera would suffice, you know?”

He squeezed her tighter. “All righty then, Vera. But it might take some time to break the habit.”

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

The sense of relief was palpable as she began the trek towards Lexington, and to Diamond City beyond. Even her headache seemed to have lifted, as if the stress had been the real culprit. She raised her pip boy to check her directions one more time before putting on the last piece of power armor, but with the armor on her right arm, her clumsy fingers overshot the dial, starting up the radio instead.

One more tomorrow…

Quickly, she turned the dial back, casting a glare to the heavens. “Was that supposed to be your sign of approval or disapproval, Nate?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a nice segue, because the cold spell has finally broken and I'm back to work tomorrow. So long daily updates! Also, if you guessed "One More Tomorrow" for that persistent song reference, you win. What, I don't know. What I do know is that it will be back for more...


	16. Burned Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She told him they would part ways for a week or two and figure things out. Instead, she ends up having a showdown with Kellogg and feeling more confused about her future than ever. We all know who she runs to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this was the material I had lost when my computer was a jerk, and therefore was the material I was putting off because I was intimidated about doing it again. Goes chronologically after "Hungover, Hanging On", and eventually I will move it into place.

As he idly spliced some wires together for a new flip switch, his mind wandered to the big question, as it had for the last three days since their parting words: what did he want from his relationship with Vera? He’d been coming out to the Red Rocket every morning so he’d be left in peace to work on the solution. He knew for certain that he liked being around her, and that he missed her when she was out on missions (an occurrence that was regrettably becoming more frequent as she grew stronger). Did he want to kiss her the way she seemed to want to kiss him when all inhibitions were down? Was this thing they had romantic or platonic? That was still undecided, though he was fairly certain he wanted to hold her. She felt perfect in his arms. He wanted to continue being the one she relied on for support, and didn’t particularly like the idea of her going to anyone else besides her deceased husband. Jealousy? Did that mean he LIKE liked her then?

Just as he had done for the last three days, he then tucked those thoughts to the back of his mind to focus on the task at hand. Romance hadn’t been on his radar until this vault dweller had appeared, and he had no idea how to deal with this. His work was all he knew, all he’d cared about up until this point. He still had several days until she’d be back wanting an answer, hopefully with some answers of her own. Perhaps it would come to him if he didn’t try so hard…

“Mr. Sturges, thank heavens you’re here!”

The proper voice of the Mr. Handy robot was extremely distressed, but not beyond recognition. Still, the surprise of hearing it out of the blue had him jolting and dropping his tools with a clatter. He snapped his head around to find both Codsworth and his mistress, who appeared to be barely standing on her own two feet despite the power armor she wore. His eyes widened. “Vera? Codsworth? What are you doing here? What happened?” Before he could even think, he was at her side, holding her steady as she attempted to get out of the power armor. He could see it was badly damaged, dented and burned in several places. It would need serious repairs, but what about its wearer?

When she stumbled out of the power armor, the only reason she didn’t fall backwards was that Sturges caught her. He didn’t hesitate to scoop her up bridal style. She could sense his eyes anxiously scanning her up and down despite her fatigue. “Hey…” she attempted weakly. “Sorry for making such an entrance, and so much earlier than I promised.”

He wasn’t listening; he was too busy focusing on the burns that marred her pale skin where the vault suit had been torn. What kind of insane fire-fight had she gotten into that the power armor hadn’t protected her completely? Based on the burns, he figured the culprit had to be laser weapons. Gunners, perhaps? “Codsworth, I need you to head into Sanctuary and find Jun. He was a pharmacist once. He’ll be able to whip up a salve for these burns. Got it?” he instructed urgently, ignoring Vera’s remarks.

“At once, sir! I trust you will take care of her?”

“Of course, buddy, of course. We’ll be inside when you get back.”

“I shall go with all haste then!”

As soon as the robot sped off in the direction of Sanctuary, Sturges began carrying her inside the Red Rocket. “I didn’t know Jun was a pharmacist…” she murmured, almost getting lost in his body heat and the feeling of being hauled around so easily. “If I’d have known that, I’d have put him in charge of the medical stall. Perhaps I can reorganize my personnel.”

Sturges rounded the corner into his bedroom and gently laid her down on his bed. “He was too shaken to continue that work when you first met us, but I think now he might have recovered enough to keep a steady hand and a sound mind. I’m definitely trusting him with this, though.” He gestured at her wounds without touching them. “I fix power armor, not people.”

“That’s not true,” she protested softly, gazing up at him. “You always fix me. That’s why I came right back here.”

Sturges swore his heart missed a beat, but he chose to ignore it in order to pursue more information on the situation. “What happened, Vera? You said you were gonna to talk to the detective and figure out where your son was. You found the kidnapper already?”

Her face fell. “The detective knew a man that matched my description, and he had a house in Diamond City. Dogmeat helped us sniff him out from there. We tracked him to Fort Hagen. It was…there were synths everywhere.”

Sturges’ eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Synths? In the open? But that means…”

“The Institute,” she choked, her emotions beginning to overcome her. “The one group in the Commonwealth that no one can figure out or track down. The monsters in the shadows that prey on innocent people with no known motive. I learned that real quickly when I first got to Diamond City. They are the ones that have him, Sturges. The man that kidnapped my son worked for them, and he didn’t have Shaun with him. How the hell am I going to get into the Institute?” She broke into tears. “I talked real tough in front of that bastard, said I’d get Shaun back no matter what, but I don’t actually know how I’m going to do that!”

“You’ve come this far,” Sturges soothed, sitting on the bed beside her. He pulled his work gloves off his hands so he could wipe away her tears. “And you’ve done amazing things. If anyone will find a way to get to the Institute, it will be you. I don’t know of anything that can stop you when your mind is set.”

She gave a bitter laugh. “Yeah, that son of a bitch told me he had given me a 50/50 chance to make it to Diamond City, and no chance at all to survive past that. That was after he had the nerve to call me a frozen dinner. Fuck, I hate him so much…” A sob wracked her body. “Turns out he was half machine anyhow. Explains why he didn’t have a heart, how he could kill Nate without hesitation and steal the baby he died protecting. But the piece of shit thought he was being so nice, giving me a chance to walk back out and warning me that it wouldn’t end well if I kept going... Like telling me to leave was some act of fucking charity!”

Sturges shook his head gravely. “Idiot clearly didn’t know you at all. You’d think he would have taken better notes, all things considered.”

“Right, because after all I’ve done, I would just turn around and leave? What kind of parent would that make me? He couldn’t fathom in that terrible altered brain of his that I might overpower him thanks to sheer willpower alone. Did he truly think that after making me watch him murder my husband and steal my son I wouldn’t be dangerous? What a fucking arrogant prick!” Her words dissolved into more sobs. “He’s dead now. I gunned down all his stupid synths and blew his brains out. He paid the price for that arrogance. He’ll never kill an innocent person again!”

“I’m sure you’ve kept a lot more people safe, but it must have been one hell of a fight.” He was hesitant to touch her, afraid he would aggravate her burns, but he sure wished he could. “You still paid a heavy price to take him down. Thank God I fixed up your power armor before you left.” Honestly, he didn’t want to think about how it might have ended had she gone without.

“Yeah. Without you and the rest of the Minutemen’s help, he would have been right about me. I would have died before reaching Lexington.” She shuddered. “But I’m not the one who’s dead, he’s dead. That was supposed to make things better, but so is Nate. And Shaun is still out there somewhere. In fact, Kellogg told me Shaun was older than I thought, not even a baby anymore. For all I know, they’ve brainwashed him! After everything I’ve done, what good has come of it? Nothing has changed. What’s the point?”

And for the first time, Sturges heard the tone of despair in her words. Sure, she’d been upset before, frustrated and confused and sad, but this was darker, and he felt a twinge of fear. Putting aside any reservations, he moved so he was laying down beside her, fighting the urge to hug her, and gently guided her down to the mattress beside him. “Now that’s not true at all. You’ve changed. You’ve become stronger, more resilient, and you’ve helped so many people. I know you haven’t accomplished what you so desperately wanted to yet, but that doesn’t mean it has all been in vain. It’s preparing you for what’s to come. You are gonna find the Institute. You are gonna find him. Everything you touch becomes a miracle, so why not one more thing?”

Without even thinking, he leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. He could feel every tremor against his lips, but she seemed to surrender to acceptance as her cries diminished. “Don’t give up now, Vera. All of us have your back. And as for me…the way you never stop fightin’ for your son, I won’t ever stop fightin’ for you. Believe that.”

She reached out and clutched his coveralls. “Sturges... I was supposed to give it time, come back with answers about you and me…”

“Don’t worry about that now. It can sort itself out later. Right now, you need to rest and recover. Jun should be here soon. We’ll treat your burns, and you can sleep here for the night. Spend a few days around Sanctuary healing. Then we can figure out where we go next, okay?’

Everything that had happened in the last 48 hours left her far too drained to think of anything better. “Okay. But you’ll stay with me?”

“Every step of the way.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first time I battled Kellogg, I didn't have my power armor. I regretted that choice very much. The second time, I fixed it up to D rank and thrashed him. I like thinking that is how Sturges does his part to keep her safe.


	17. What Desperation Does

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vera is panicking now that she knows the Institute is involved, and she's ready to do something she may regret later. The Mama Murphy chem situation...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know, just trying to keep this real. Our protagonist should be beside herself after Fort Hagen, and rightfully so. Also, after I accidentally killed Mama Murphy in my first game and watched how upset everyone was...never again.

The first day, she could allow herself to be distracted. Sturges was true to his word, and he never left her side. Together they designed and began construction on an armory for her growing assortment of weapons and armor, and between the stimpaks, Jun’s salve, and Mama Murphy’s ribeye steak, she felt her physical strength return.

Her mental strength was another thing altogether.

The second day, she began to remember all the ways she was not the same hopeful she had been earlier in the week. Her enemy no longer had a face, for starters, and according to Kellogg her son did not look at all the way she remembered him. If she had believed surviving the wasteland and traveling to Diamond City were huge obstacles, well, she had been painfully naïve. Her mind constantly returned to the impossible task that lay before her despite Sturges’ best attempts at distraction. No one but Dogmeat knew she’d snuck herself several shots of vodka to knock herself out before bed and still the whirlwind of thoughts. She also believed no one saw her sneak over to Mama Murphy’s house early the next morning.

Sturges was in the backyard repairing a damaged fence so the Brahmin wouldn’t sneak in when he heard her hushed voice through the open window. While he couldn’t make out her words, he definitely heard Mama Murphy utter “Med-X”, sending a chill down his spine. 

It was no secret that back in the beginning, Vera had capitalized on Mama Murphy’s sight by bringing a hit of Jet. One hit of Jet seemed harmless enough in exchange for pointing her in the right direction on her quest. It was not as well known that a month ago, he’d come across a buzzed Mama Murphy with a box of Mentats on her coffee table. She didn’t even try to hide the fact that Vera slipped them to her in exchange for another piece of advice. The frequency troubled him, but as before, the Mentats were a fairly tame chem. Med-X though, that was pretty hard-core stuff. People could die from a poorly rationed dosage, and it was highly addictive. Jun had to keep the stuff under lock and key back when he ran the pharmacy.

When Vera exited the house, Sturges was right there with his arms folded across his chest, tools since abandoned. “Vera…” His tone held a strong hint of warning.

There was no point in pretending he didn’t know. “What else am I supposed to do?” she hissed, not wanting to draw unwanted attention. “She’s been right about everything. Her sight led me to the detective that found my perpetrator. Her sight also gave me the secret to avoiding a fight with a mob boss and all his goons. Nobody else in the Commonwealth has any better ideas on how to find the Institute, so why not?”

He drew a deep breath through his nose. “Because she’s askin’ for Med-X, that’s why! Do you understand how dangerous that stuff is? Didn’t they have it back in your day?”

“In hospitals, yeah. It’s a painkiller.” She shrugged, though she turned her glance away. “Mama Murphy wouldn’t ask for something dangerous, would she?”

“Or is that what you tell yourself to justify why you’re about to go hunt some down?” His eyes took a hard slant. “I get that you’re feelin’ cornered, Vera, but you haven’t even given much time to figure out a solution. How many chems can her body take? This would be the third time in three months!”

Her hands shot up defensively. “She offered, I didn’t ask her to!” Vera began to walk away at a brisk pace. Of course Sturges was probably right, and she felt the guilt pooling in the pit of her stomach. The first time she’d brought the chems, Mama Murphy had gotten tired. The second time, she began coughing violently. Perhaps it was coincidence that she’d reacted worse, but what if it wasn’t? No, she couldn’t afford to think on that. She needed the sight. “You don’t have a son hanging in the balance, so you don’t have the right to judge me!”

She hated how desperate she had become, but she clung to her own twisted logic all the same. Before Sturges could say another word to her back, she was running from Sanctuary. This called for an expedition to Fort Hagen with Dogmeat, who wouldn’t judge her. Surely she could hunt down some Med-X in that ruined clinic. Then she’d get her answers, and she’d never have to give drugs to an old woman again. Right?

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

When she returned to Sanctuary two days later, goods in hand, she breezed right by the Red Rocket. Sturges didn’t need to know. That she’d even entertained the idea of bringing the chems was bad enough in his eyes, no doubt, and she didn’t like the idea of him thinking even worse of her despite her conviction that this was necessary. She dodged everyone in the settlement and went directly to Mama Murphy’s house, presenting the syringe to the old woman. She immediately shot up.

It took very little time for the effects of the Med-X to manifest. Her eyes glassed over as her muscles relaxed, and she began to speak about a waterless sea, invisible and radiant and burning, and the people chanting within it. They could show her the way. Before Vera could ask for more details, however, the old woman was clutching her chest and gasping for breath. Any annoyance at the vision cutting out too early was erased by the concern she felt as the old woman admitted to feeling her heart stop for a moment. No, concern was too light of a word. It was dread, panic, the burden of knowing she may have nearly killed the kindly old seer. In that moment, it felt like the walls were closing in on her. She gave her thanks, and she escaped from the after-effects of what she had caused. No harm, no foul, as they used to say.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

It turned out that she couldn’t escape from her close call with Mama Murphy any better than she could stop thinking about Shaun for five minutes. It had proved twice as hard to fall asleep that night despite the same amount of alcohol before bed. In the morning, she lay in bed thinking about all the people that would hate her if she brought about Mama Murphy’s death. Preston had made his stance clear the very day she met them all in the Museum of Freedom. He’d lose all respect for his General. Knowing Jun, he’d go back into a super depressed funk, and Marcy would blame her forever. Even Codsworth had expressed his displeasure during her Mentats run. Then there was Sturges. Even the ever patient, ever sympathetic Sturges would distance himself from her. He had warned her, after all, and she hadn’t listened. The entire group she relied on might very well disown her.

Vera had many vices, but at least she had enough of a conscience to know none of those things mattered nearly as much as the fact that she could have erased the kind, helpful old woman from the picture in her desperation for answers.

A knock on the door roused her out of bed, and this time she wasn’t even surprised to find Sturges standing there when she opened it. A worried frown pulled at the corners of his mouth. “You came back yesterday and you didn’t stop by. Does that mean what I think it means?” So like him, getting right to the point.

It felt so…embarrassing, being chastised by someone she respected as much as Sturges. She could feel her ears burn as she studied his boots and admitted “Only if you thought I was delivering Med-X. Because I did.”

Instead of shouting angrily, throwing accusations and pointing a finger because of what she had done, he heaved a sad sigh. Somehow that was even worse. “I’m worried fear is getting the best of you, but in the end you are right, you have your reasons and I can’t judge you for them. I have no idea what it is like to be going through what you are going through. This is between you and her.”

“Please, Sturges, I need your help!” Vera blurted, interrupting him. Pleading eyes searched his bewildered face. “I can’t do this again. Her heart temporarily stopped. I almost…she almost…” She averted her eyes once more in shame as she clenched her fists at her sides. “No more. I know I’m not a saint, but I thought I was at least a good person. I wouldn’t be a good person if I traded other peoples’ lives for my son. I don’t want to be like that. She’s done so much for me and for everyone, and I can’t let my selfishness kill her.”

“Vera, what do you want me to do exactly?” He placed his big hands on her shoulders.

She drew a shaky breath. “I swear I won’t bring her any more chems, but please, help me convince her to stop the chems all together. I know she’ll argue with me, but if more than one person is there to convince her…”

“What reason will you give her? You know she won’t listen if you don’t have one. She’ll say that her gift is meant to be used, that it’s how she contributes to the group. We’ve all heard it before.”

“Mama Murphy is worth more than just her sight! If something happened to her, we would all be devastated!” Vera protested quickly.

Sturges gave a small smile. “Yeah, I think that’ll get us somewhere.” His hands trailed down her arms until he held both her hands in his, running his thumb over the backs of them. “I think she’s a lot like you: she’s come to rely on a cheat instead of recognizing what she can do beyond that. Not gonna lie, we owe our lives to her sight. But we can’t depend on her to tell us everything. You have always been so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You don’t need to be given the answers either.”

“Why do you even like me?” Vera mumbled, seemingly out of left field. She rested her forehead against his shoulder. “I’m just a spoiled brat.”

He rested his chin on top of her head. “No, you’re scared. And confused. Happens to everybody. But you truly are a good person. I believe that a hundred percent. You have done so much good for people in only a few months, so don’t get down over this. We’ll go get Preston and the others and we’ll all talk to her together, okay? It's gonna be all right.”

“Thank you.” She nuzzled closer, savoring his presence. If he believed she was a good person, who was she to argue?


	18. Steeling Resolve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ah, nothing like the base feelings of jealousy to bring two people together...

“I’m going to check out the Brotherhood of Steel,” Vera declared as she and Sturges packed up a load of supplies to send out to Greygarden. The robots there didn’t need much, but she still wanted to get a bunkhouse with SOME lighting established for travelers.

Sturges fastened the make-shift crate shut for transport, and blinked in surprise as he pulled the knot taut. “You mean them tin-cans in their giant flying airship? The one that just screams ‘we come in peace’?”

Vera snorted. “I know, right? For being so skeptical of technology, they sure do use a lot of it. I mean, just think of all the power armor! You’d have a field day.” She lapsed into silence as she continued her work on the second crate. “The fact is, though, if anyone has the resources to track down the Institute, it would be them. Getting into their group seems like my only chance at this point.”

“Right. No argument there.” It didn’t make him feel any better about her going to those militant toy soldiers, but it was the truth.

She must have read the hesitation in his voice. “Hey, that Paladin Danse guy was real uptight, but he wasn’t a bad guy. I think once I get to know him he won’t be so strict. What matters is that he wants to help people, even if his vision is pretty narrow. If they are like him, I could tolerate the Brotherhood until I get what I needed.”

“How are they gonna feel about gainin’ a fair-weather ally?” Sturges arched an eyebrow. “They don’t seem like the type to take anything half-assed.”

Vera shrugged, dusting her hands off as she finished the final crate. “They don’t have to know that, now do they? Remember, I’m charisma incarnate. The lawyer thing is finally good for something after all.”

“It’ll be a while then. At least, that’s the idea.” He fastened the second crate and shoved it by the first.

“Right, not like last time…” Vera sighed.

Sturges shoved his hands in his pockets as he looked her up and down. “Is your armor in good shape? Need any weapon mods?”

She shook her head. “No, I think you’ve already taken care of everything ten times over, Sturges. Even the psychological things.” She then offered a wry smile. “And before you say anything, yes, I will be careful. On the bright side, I’ll be surrounded by human tanks who can take the bullets for me.”

“Damn, you know me too well,” he laughed as he pulled her close. “But more than that, if you get overwhelmed, come back, okay?” He wanted to add a comment about not trusting those uninvited visitors with their big guns, but she was an adult fully capable of making her own decisions.

“Okay, I promise.”

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Two weeks went by, and every single day he wondered how her plan was going. It was silly to worry, considering she had an in with a very influential Paladin, but still there was something about the whole organization that made him uneasy. There was also the fact that Vera might not be as in control as she wanted to believe, especially after the Mama Murphy incident.

Finally, the day came when she marched into Sanctuary with a strapping soldier in tow. To be fair, it might have been the power armor that made him look strapping, but all the same it proved rather impressive. When a curious crowd gathered, himself included, she introduced him as Paladin Danse, her ally from the Brotherhood of Steel. She allowed him to speak to the people regarding the mission of the Brotherhood. All of his answers to questions were filled with passion; the man was clearly devoted to the cause. Then, he pulled off the hood he wore with the power armor and Sturges actually felt his stomach drop. The man had hair. No, that sounded ridiculous. The problem was that he had nice hair. It didn’t require any gel to style it, and it complimented the rugged facial hair he was sporting. What the hell was this feeling?

It became clear when he referred to Vera as “a fine soldier” and she smiled back at him. Here was the very definition of manly-man, and a soldier to boot, which was right up Vera’s alley. Oh no. This was definitely jealousy.

He excused himself from the crowd before anyone could notice his strange reaction, power-walking to the Red Rocket as quickly as he could without looking too suspicious. If this was jealousy…if he felt threatened by this Paladin Danse and the way she got along with him…then that had to mean… Once he got there, he grabbed the nearest piece of sandpaper and began furiously smoothing out the nearest piece of wood. What was he even using that piece of wood for anyhow?

“Sturges?”

He nearly jumped. That hadn’t taken long. Leave it to Vera to notice… “Oh, hey there. How was your trip? Did you learn anything?” He could recognize the hurry with which he spoke, but he couldn’t help the way the words stumbled from his mouth.

“Sturges, what’s wrong? This isn’t like you at all.” If he had been looking at her, he’d have seen the thin frown and perplexed expression on her face. “I thought I’d at least get a greeting, but you took off like a bat out of hell.”

“I...that is…” He paused his sanding, and all the muscles in his body tensed. What the hell was this? Fight or flight response? “It seems like you and that Danse fella get along pretty well, huh?”

“Yes,” she replied slowly. “And?”

“Does he…remind you of your husband?” As soon as he said it, he wanted to smack himself. What an audacious thing to say to a widow!

But again, if he had been looking, he’d have seen the way her confusion melted away, a knowing smirk taking its place. “Yes and no. The ‘no’ is mostly because of his absolute blind loyalty to the higher-ups. Nate wouldn’t have taken it that far, even if he had that military discipline. I’d say a lot of these Brotherhood guys are borderline fanatical.”

“Ah.” There was a pause. “So you’re keepin’ your distance from ‘em, just playin’ your cards?”

“That’s right. They might mean well, but I don’t trust anyone who never questions. I’m just waiting for that Elder Maxson to give one bad order, the one I won’t be able to follow. But I digress. The point is that Paladin Danse is a colleague, perhaps even a friend, nothing more.”

Well, she HAD seen what he was trying to get at. Sturges finally turned around, looking sheepish and still more than a little red in the face. “I was afraid you’d get caught up in their group, you know?”

Vera raised an eyebrow. “And that was the only reason you ran off?”

How many times had he been the one giving her that look, but now he was on the receiving end. Damn it, she was good at this… “Well, you see…” He inhaled deeply. “I understand if you’ve changed your mind now that you’ve had time to think, and you should definitely tell me so if you don’t like what I’m gonna say, but I…” His hands clenched into fists. “Shit, Vera, I just realized that I wanna kiss you!”

Truth be told, she’d been hoping that was the case and not just what she wanted to be true when she saw him bolt. Even still, it floored her to hear. “It took another man waltzing in, huh?”

Sturges hung his head. “I guess so. Funny, I’ve been thinkin’ about it for so long, but in one moment it became so obvious.”

She laughed lightly. “And here I haven’t thought about what I wanted in two weeks, but I know for sure how I’m going to answer right here, right now.” She took a step towards him, grabbed him by the coveralls, and pulled him down as she stood on her toes until their lips met. It didn’t last too long, and was more chaste than anything, but it served to scratch the itch all the same. When she let him go, she appreciated the dazed look he wore. “What else about him made you jealous?”

Sturges’ eyes widened. “Jealous? Who said anything ‘bout bein’ jealous?”

Vera grinned. “Oh come on, we all know that’s what was going on. So, what else?”

He frowned. “His hair.” Immediately he winced. “That sounds so damn petty…”

Vera laughed again, stronger this time. “Maybe I like that you were being petty! It certainly did the trick, didn’t it? Of course, for the record, he’s got nothing on you.” She reached out and took his hands in hers. “Absolutely nothing.”

For all the time he’d spent weighing his options and soul-searching and debating the pros and cons, he could tell immediately that holding her hand like a lover felt completely natural. So had their brief kiss. Had his brain not even realized they were headed in this direction anyhow? Unable to help himself, he leaned down to steal a second kiss, this time on his own terms. It was slow, lasted a bit longer, though it remained on the cautious side. “I think I love you, Vera.”

She beamed, but he could see the glimmer of tears. “Thank God!”


	19. Electricity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A first moment of intimacy. What they start doing is maddeningly familiar yet unfamiliar, and somewhere in the middle he stops caring about why that is.
> 
> Rated M

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here's the story: every author's worst nightmare, there was a mishap with my computer and I lost about 20,000 words of my document containing this story. A lot of it had already been posted, so I was able to recover it. A lot of it hadn't. I was so discouraged that this thing took a hiatus. Even now, I'm just posting a chapter that I had written in advance even though it skips pretty far down the timeline, just for the sake of getting something posted again.
> 
> On another note...how did I end up writing a synth having a sexual awakening? This is so not an area of expertise o_O

They both burst into the living room of Sturges’ house as another rumble of thunder announced the approaching radiation storm. Vera now understood they were not as dangerous as she initially believed, but she still found them extremely unnerving despite how many she’d endured thus far. Sturges had followed right behind to keep her company until it subsided. She might have to weather these on her own when she was out traveling, but as long as she was here in Sanctuary, she shouldn’t have to. The image of her curled up in a ball, trembling and terrified of her first ever radiation storm, stayed with him even now.

“I’m glad you decided to join me,” Vera admitted softly, her eyes anxiously scanning the yellow sky through the window.

“You know I’m here for ya,” Sturges reassured as he plopped on the couch. When he patted the cushion next to him, she was quick to follow, resting her head on his broad shoulder, and he wrapped a protective arm around her. Being sheltered by him made her feel even safer than if she’d been down in the root cellar. "Sittin’ here with ya is no big hassle.”

“Even though I’m a wimp for being afraid of these storms?”

“Darlin’, even if you were afraid of a radroach and needed me to kill it for you. It’s no problem takin’ care of you.”

“But you are ALWAYS taking care of me,” Vera pouted, twisting around in his embrace so she could look at him directly.

“Because you’re always takin’ care of everybody else. Somebody’s gotta look out for ya.” Sturges began to run his fingers through her auburn hair, appreciating the fact that he'd taken his gloves off before leaving his workstation. “And that’ll be me, I reckon.”

“But you’re also always doing things for other people. It’s about time someone took care of you too!” Before he could react, she was straddling his lap and wrapping her arms around his neck. Her eyes had suddenly taken a seductive glint, all nervousness about the storm forgotten even as a flash lit up the room. It was all so sudden, he had no idea what to do or say. “I’ve got a few ideas…” And then she kissed him, albeit innocently, on his cheek right under his sideburn. She was…coming on to him, right? Somewhere in his mind he knew where she wanted this to lead, but even still it seemed like such a foreign situation. Why couldn’t he fully grasp what was going on? “But I don’t want to cross any lines. I know you have been cautious about this, and understandably so.”

“Ms. Vera…” he started, so jumbled up that he reverted back to this title, but didn’t know what to say next. His eyes accidentally fell to the small bit of cleavage exposed by the low-cut collar of her dress, just a glimpse really, but it didn’t seem proper at all, and so he jerked his gaze back up.

She noticed, however. “If you are not ready for anything physical between us, I won’t push you. I’m just offering in case it's something you want. We’ve got the perfect opportunity here with everybody holed up until the storm passes. No interruptions, you not going anywhere to work on any projects…”

Sure, they’d realized there was a special connection between the two of them, and after some trepidation and soul-searching established it with soft kisses and physical touch, but the offer on the table still wasn’t that simple. How many years had he gone without engaging in any activity of this sort? He knew he’d been with women before, but he couldn’t for the life of him recall any names or faces. He understood how it worked, but couldn’t summon any recollection of the fire men burned with to engage in such a thing. Even now, with her casting that sultry gaze at him and throwing herself at him, he didn’t feel any kind of rush. To be honest, he didn’t need the sex. He apparently hadn’t missed it much over these last few years.

But the irrational part of him looked at her and wanted to try even if he didn’t need it. If nothing else, it might give her happiness, which he found he desperately wanted. Vera was not promiscuous in the least; since the death of her husband, she had yet to take anyone to bed. If she wanted to do this with him, it must mean something very special for her. And he did know that she was very special to him.

“Maybe if we just…did a little kissin’…” For once, the even-keeled Sturges actually blushed. “See how it goes.”

If he worried about disappointing her with this hesitant answer, he needn’t have. A pleased grin crossed her face, lit up by another flash of lightning. “Fine by me.” And with that green light she was on him, mouth crashing into his. The kiss was filled with a passion that was foreign to him, one she hadn’t poured out until this moment, but he found it contagious. As her fingers began to comb through his gelled hair, and as her moans filled his mouth, he felt something flicker within him that was very different from the radiation flares outside. Slowly, he wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her flush to his body. One of his hands trailed up her back, and he felt a shiver run through her.

“Sturges…” she mumbled as she briefly pulled back for air. “You know I want to make you happy, feel good. You deserve everything.” And she resumed her frantic kiss, tongue exploring around his mouth as pleased little whimpers escaped her throat. He couldn’t help but mirror her actions. Despite his initial hesitation, he found he quite liked making out with her and would be eager to do it again. It made him feel so wanted. Perhaps her enthusiasm affected him more than the actual kiss.

And then his body did something he didn’t expect; his hips unconsciously thrust upward against her, and the resulting gasp she let loose was as electric as the air outside. He felt the spark course through him too as a pleasurable sensation seemed to shoot straight to his groin.

“God, Sturges… Is it okay if we…?” Instead of finishing, she mimicked his motion, pressing her core against him in response. It felt good as a second jolt rushed through him, so he nodded wordlessly.

And so the kissing fell by the wayside in favor of grinding, though she kept her forehead pressed against his in a gesture of intimacy. She remained the dominant force as she rocked against him in a steady rhythm, stimulating him in a way he hadn’t imagined. It was almost becoming painful, he realized through the haze, even though it felt so good. It felt as if his pants were suddenly too tight as the material rubbed against his length. His hands desperately clutched at the fabric of her dress near her hips, searching for something to anchor him as he climbed higher and higher with each thrust. Something was building inside, ready to explode. “Ms. Vera, I’m gonna…” He couldn’t finish because he wasn’t sure exactly what would happen when all that pressure between his legs reached the breaking point. His head told him he would ejaculate, spilling the seed meant to reproduce. He was suddenly terrified as he realized that he didn’t remember what this was like at all.

To his confusion, Vera slowed to a halt, eyebrows arched in surprise. It made him feel embarrassed, and he was certain it showed on his face. “Do you want to finish?” That was all she vocalized, but he knew there was more she wanted to ask but wouldn’t because she was a polite woman.

He focused on tracing small circles on her hips with his thumbs as he tried to come back down to earth. “It’s been a long time. A really long time. Years,” he attempted lamely, trying to explain why the moment was going to be over so quickly. For all that he didn’t remember about sex, he knew he wasn’t supposed to finish right away. Her surprise at his admission only confirmed it.

Her expression softened, and she leaned forward to plant a gentle kiss against his temple, now sweaty from the intensity of their actions. “Then let me push you over the edge, Sturges. Is that okay?”

Words failed him, so he simply said “Please.”

Vera resumed her motions as if nothing had transpired at all, and it didn’t take long for him to pick up where he’d left off. In fact, when she’d paused, he’d felt such an intense ache at having that release denied. It was cured now as he climbed again. “You deserve to come fast and hard, over and over until you are satisfied. I can’t believe no one has taken care of you for that long! You’re so damn sweet and caring and you deserve it all!” Just when he thought he’d figured out her pattern, she slowed her motions, making them more deliberate and pressing even harder so the seam of his coveralls dug into him deliciously. Everything in his body seemed to clench in anticipation of whatever was coming. “Finish, Sturges!”

It finally washed over him, right in time with the roll of thunder. His head thudded against the back of the couch as his vision went white and everything went rigid in his body. He might have groaned, but he wasn’t entirely sure. He wasn’t even sure how long he’d been unresponsive until he realized she was trailing kisses along his jaw and massaging his shoulders. “Sturges,” she whispered, over and over.

He slowly opened his eyes. “What about you?” Here he was, a boneless mess with a spreading pool of dampness at his crotch, but taking care of Vera was his top priority.

“Just give me a moment and I’ll join you.” He watched as she shifted so she was hovering over his thigh. Her angle was slightly different, and it must be helping her chase her own release as she resumed rutting against him. Before long, she was whining with need. “So close, I just… Sturges, say my name!”

Suddenly, as another flash of lightning illuminated the room, she looked so fragile in a completely different way. This wasn’t fear, but need, and his protective instincts kicked in in full force despite the fog of his orgasm. He gripped her hips once again, though this time sliding down low enough to grasp some of that soft, full rear end he had so often studied as she walked around in her vault suit. “Vera, darlin’, I need to see you come undone. Please, Vera, let me see you…”

He felt her shudder as her movements became jerky and uneven. A single drawn-out cry competed with the thunder, shaking him to his core. If he hadn’t been holding her in place, she might have toppled over, but instead he pulled her to his body as she trembled. Was that what he had looked like when it hit him not minutes before? Had he looked that…desirable?

Sturges twisted so he was able to lay back across the couch, pulling Vera on top of him and wrapping her in a strong embrace. “Damn, you’re gorgeous, Vera. Do you have any idea how perfect you look when you’re falling apart?”

She only nuzzled his chest. “Can’t be better than you. I’m going to get addicted to that sight.”

Sturges snorted. “Better that than chems.”

They fell into a sated silence, only realizing after several minutes that the sound of thunder was getting softer as the storm moved past. Their little rendezvous was already over. Sturges being Sturges was the one to keep moving forward. Even though he savored the feel of her weight on top of him, it was hard to ignore the mess he’d made when he spilled all over himself. “I’d better get changed before I head back out there. Time to go.” He waited patiently for Vera to remove herself before getting back on his feet. She was moving none too quickly.

“Wait, Sturges…” He turned to look at her, hoping she wasn’t going to question any of his unusual reactions to what they’d done. He had no answers to give. “Did you…like that?”

Considering he had abstained from any sex for years, he hadn’t expected it to be so enjoyable. How could he have ever forgotten the feeling Vera had just given him? Had the need for survival really pushed those powerful urges to the background? Sturges scratched his head sheepishly. “I guess I’d forgotten what I was missing. You do know how to show a fella a good time.”

“Do you think we might…do it again sometime?” she pressed hopefully.

Now that he was reminded, he had to wonder if he wouldn’t begin to crave it again. “I don’t think I’ll be puttin’ up such a fuss from now on, if you catch my meaning.”

Her smile was like the sun coming back out from behind the clouds. “I’ll have to start thinking of more excuses then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While it's hard to say whether Synth Sturges is cannon or not, given that developers gave him the synth component but never intended for us to realize this / scrapped the concept. I'm rolling with it because it makes things interesting. Also, I've been trying to do my homework to establish the synth ground rules. A lot has been referenced in earlier chapters (never getting sick, forgetting to sleep without detrimental effects, etc.), but for this particular topic, I'm working with the following assumptions:
> 
> \- Synths are sterile / cannot reproduce, though they can complete the "function" in order to blend in with humans  
> -Sturges didn't get programmed with any specific memories, just a general knowledge, so this is all very confusing  
> -Like eating and sleeping, a sex drive is a biological function that is unnecessary to synths, and therefore he really had no prior inclination for such activities until she brought it up. Eating and sleeping were programmed into him to help him blend in, but no one made such allowances for sex drive when playing with his memories.


	20. Soirée

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vera needs Sturges' expertise to make Homeplate the envy of the Upper Stands, and there is no way to admit that without her sounding absolutely petty. He'll let her have her fun this time, anyhow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Talking to Ann Codmann for the first time: EXCUUUUUUUSE ME? I came from a time and place where running water was the norm! And not gonna lie, every time I fix up that house, I keep that in mind.

She had to laugh when thinking about the last time she’d dragged him on an adventure for some selfish request. It had been so hard to ask him at the time. Now, she confessed to her plan readily, and just as before, he couldn’t refuse her. “My only concern is that if we fix up the place real nice, you won’t ever come home,” he’d joked, even as he began to gather his materials. It didn’t matter that this jaunt was far longer, all the way to the heart of Diamond City itself. By now, the roads were well cleared, with multiple settlements all along the way. It didn’t even matter that this would not be day-trip, but would take a few days. No man could get Homeplate renovated the way Sturges could, and that was the bottom line.

The only problem was that she still hadn’t admitted to why she was pushing this project.

Somewhere near Oberland Station, she finally worked up the nerve. “So, Sturges…”

“Yeah, darlin’?” She loved it when he called her that, loved the way it sounded with his Southern accent. He’d only taken to calling her by that endearment after she’d blown his mind that night of the radiation storm, drawn from his lips in the heat of the moment. It was a pleasant surprise when he continued to use it even after the fact. Somehow it seemed to cement their relationship.

“There is actually another reason why I wanted you to work on my house. You know, besides the obvious ‘I’ll need to spend time there during missions’ thing.”

“Can’t say that surprises me by now,” he shook his head, but he was smiling. “Do tell.”

Vera exhaled deeply. “There is this obnoxious woman who lives in the Upper Stands. She treats me like dirt, even though she wouldn’t know luxury if it bit her in the ass. She thinks that she’s got a veritable mansion up in her end of town, but I have this sinful desire to put her in her place. Blame it on growing up in the 2060’s and ‘70’s, I guess. The social games you played back then were blood-thirsty, indeed.” Vera gave a surprisingly dark chuckle. “You should have seen the battles my arch-enemy Ms. Rosa and I fought through the neighborhood association.”

Sturges didn’t even bat an eye. By now, he knew these indulgent desires were a part of the woman he loved, a part of a past she would always carry. Sometimes it came across as being a bit childish, but who was to say it wasn’t simply a cultural difference? In any case, it was usually pretty amusing. “So I’m gonna make this place worthy of a cover of Picket Fences. Then what?”

“Then,” she grinned gleefully, “we invite her and everybody else from the Upper Stands to a little soirée at my place and rub their noses in it.” Vera paused. “You didn’t even question my motivations. Am I becoming that predictable?”

Her lover chuckled. “Maybe just a bit. And maybe I shouldn’t be feeding your ambitions so much, but I’ll do it anyhow. At the very least, you deserve to live in the best conditions. What you do with them is your business.”

She reached out and hugged his arm. “God, I love you.”

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

It took the better part of two days, but Sturges could say with no small amount of satisfaction that Homeplate was by far the best house in the city. Thankfully, the place had been hooked up to a power grid, so he was able to light the place up after running cables around the bottom floor. She also had a television. And a radio. And a holotape player. Those were the big projects, though he had at least pretended to sleep for a little while to appease her instead of finishing them faster. The kitchen also took its fair share of elbow grease, with a stove and sink and plenty of cupboards to stow her fancy dishes. She’d even planned out a bar area for drinking guests. He wished she’d allowed him time to work more on the upper levels where she slept and worked, but the guests wouldn’t be seeing that, so she gave that a low priority. Perhaps there’d still be time after the party for him to get it done…

While he did the construction, she was busy organizing and displaying items. When needed, she ran to Myrna’s store to pick up the odds and ends she required. The table was set, paintings were on the wall, and vases decorated the end tables. Sturges had to wonder if between his efforts and hers, the place outshone even the mayor’s abode. Hmm, perhaps Vera was having an effect on him, making him so smug!

She collapsed onto her bed that night, breathing a contented sigh. “This place is freaking amazing, Sturges. I could not have done this without you.”

Leaning against the wall smiling down at his girl, he replied “I’m glad it’s what you were hopin’ for. You always have these elaborate visions, but I’ve always loved that about you.”

She blinked. “Really?”

He nodded. “I knew it since we fixed up the Drive-in.”

“Back then?” Vera patted the mattress next to her, inviting him to join. He quickly slipped out of his boots before obeying.

“Back then.” An arm snaked around her waist. He was suddenly very grateful she had offered up her bathtub so he wouldn’t be covered in grime. “So, tomorrow you spread the word and hope they take the bait?”

“That’s the idea.” She hummed. “But there is one thing I’ve got to ask you.”

“What’s that?”

“I want you to be there, but I don’t want you to feel like I’m just showing you off like just another decoration in the house, you know what I mean?”

“Vera, I don’t know much of anything about social graces. It sounds like you’re invitin’ some pretty high-class types…” His brow furrowed in concern. “I might embarrass you. I’m just a handy-man, after all.”

“That’s why I don’t want to NOT invite you. I don’t want you thinking you don’t belong with me. So, basically, it’s your decision what you want to do.”

It would be so easy to decide to head over to the Dugout Inn and mingle with company more suited to him. She’d introduced him to the Bobrov brothers already. Still… “I want to show ‘em I’m your man.”

She squeezed him. “I’d like that too. But you know you’ll have to wear a suit if you want to join in the fun…”

“But I don’t have a suit!”

“We can get you fitted for one tomorrow. I know a nice lady down at the Fallon’s store.”

He sighed. “All right.”

“Hey, look at the bright side.” She nudged him playfully. “I’ve got a cute red dress that I think you’re really going to like.”

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Not five seconds after the door clicked shut and the last guest had shuffled out, Vera was already gloating. “Did you SEE the expression on Ann Codmann’s face when she opened the door and found me? Priceless!” She cackled at the memory.

“Was that the woman in the three-piece suit?” Sturges tried to recall. There had been quite a few new people in a short amount of time, and they were barely civil at best. He hadn’t exactly made new life-long friends.

Vera snorted. “Yes. And let me tell you, it does NOT flatter her. She wishes she could pull off this little ensemble.” She ran her hands down the curves of her body, highlighted by the red silk.

He frowned. “You have been positively evil throughout this whole evening. I hope you’ve gotten it out of your system now.”

She held up her hands innocently. “Hey, she’s the one who asked if you were my bodyguard, the ignorant hag. She deserves what she gets.”

“Easy enough mistake to make, to be honest.” Sturges made a show of flexing his muscles as he slid out of the suit-coat. It had been hot wearing that thing all night, and he was glad to toss it onto the couch. “What else should she think? I didn’t exactly blend in with the upper class.”

“Oh, I don’t know, that you are my man? Wouldn’t that be the logical thought, seeing such a good-looking guy dressed up to the nines at my side?”

Sturges stepped up right in front of her and peered down, expressionless. “Even when you corrected her, you didn’t call me that. You just told her I was your engineer.”

“That’s part of the game, babe. You’ll have to trust me on that one. It would be far too blunt to come out and say it. Don’t you remember how right after I answered her, I slipped my hand into yours?” She reenacted the gesture, giving his hand a squeeze. “Believe me, she knew. They all did. And as a bonus, none of them will be talking down to me again. All in all this was a wonderful evening, and it isn’t even done yet.”

“It’s not?” The poor man was actually tired for once, worn down from the inane conversation he’d been forced to endure just to remain at her side. The thought of crashing on the spare bed downstairs actually sounded good.

“I’ve still got a few tricks up my sleeve.” She of course had no sleeves, but she did shrug the strap of her dress down suggestively. “A few rewards for my man who helped make this little soirée possible. If you want, of course.”

What he wanted was time to enjoy her, whether that meant with or without clothes. He wanted to strip away the façade she’d donned even more than the dress she was wearing. “I could be convinced, assuming you put your claws away first.”

Vera sighed. “I was acting just a little bit catty, wasn’t I?”

He scoffed. “A little?”

She stuck out her lip in a pout. “Keeping that sort of company does not bring out the best in me, I admit. You, on the other hand…” She began to guide him to the stairs leading to her bed. “You’ll bring me back, won’t you?”

“Only if you promise you’ll leave those wanna-be socialites alone from now on. You’ve had your fun at their expense.” He followed willingly.

“Yes, Sturges, I will.” Though she made it sound grudging, she would listen to him, because the fact was, he was her boyfriend. However, she had been unsure if that was still a concept in this day and age, and so hadn’t actually come out and called him that this evening. Calling him a lover made him sound far more physically involved than they had been at this point; a little grinding, maybe tonight some touching skin-on-skin, but they hadn’t actually slept together yet. What the hell was he to her, exactly?

All she could say was that he was her Sturges, and she was his Vera. No one else could understand it except for them, and that was just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Sturges. I'm sorry for making him endure that "social gathering", but he does look good in a suit!


	21. Relax

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sturges stayed up all night again even though Vera has made it clear that she doesn't like this habit of his. She has a plan to get him to relax though...
> 
> Rated M

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Until I get things organized chronologically, I'm leaving a note declaring this piece pre synth revelation.

“Sit.” Her single word left no room for argument, so Sturges meekly planted himself on one of the kitchen chairs. He knew he was in trouble; she’d caught him pulling an all-nighter again, and he had to admit that she made her opinion on this habit very clear. What he didn’t understand was why she’d instructed him to change out of his coveralls and into a simple undershirt and jeans before their confrontation.

Taking in his penitent form, she clicked her tongue. “Sturges, you just can’t help yourself, can you? Always have to be working around the clock on your projects for everyone else.”

“I’m sorry, Vera, I don’t know where the time goes,” he mumbled, ducking his head. “Before I know it, the sun’s comin’ up…”

She ran a hand along the stubble of his sideburn before cupping under his chin, forcing him to meet her gaze. It surprised him when he caught a mischievous glint in her pale green eyes. “Clearly, I’m going to have to teach you a lesson about relaxing, seeing as you have failed to learn it from my lectures. Of course, if at any point you don’t like what I do, you need to tell me, do you understand?”

Sturges furrowed his brow in confusion. “What’s that supposed to mean? I thought I was gettin’ a scolding.”

She trailed her hand down to his shoulder, now mirrored by her other hand, and they began to massage the corded muscles at the base of his neck. “Well, one way or another, I plan on making your head spin…”

He had to admit, the massage delivered by her purposeful fingers felt good. The tightness in his shoulders that he didn’t even realize he was carrying gradually faded away as she worked. “So far, this doesn’t seem like punishment.”

“Like I said, I plan on teaching you a lesson. I never said it was going to be punishment,” she breathed in his ear. His eyes widened, but before he could respond, she began gently sucking at his pulse-point. A soft moan from her throat, and much to his surprise, he felt something stir within him. Her hands were now tracing down burly biceps, feather light and more suggestive than actually massaging. All the while, he couldn’t decide what he should be doing in response. Was he supposed to kiss her back? Hold her? Was he even allowed to touch, or was he supposed to be still as she dispensed her ‘lesson’?

This meditation was interrupted as her thumbs brushed over his nipples. While he wasn’t sensitive enough for this to make him shudder, it certainly got his attention. It also made her direction pretty clear. “You want to know why I had you change into those jeans?”

“I…umm…” He had a pretty good idea, but it was impossible to answer as she lowered herself to her knees before him, hands resting on his hips. Something about seeing her looking up at him from this position affected him more than any touch she’d given thus far.

“Your coveralls are a pain in the ass to get off.” Vera lazily ran her thumbs along the waistband of his jeans, stopping at the button. “This is not something we’ve done before. Make sure you tell me ‘no’ if you truly don’t want it, if it makes you uncomfortable. However, I don’t want you saying ‘no’ because you think you don’t deserve it. The first is completely your call, but the latter is mine, and I know exactly what I want to do to you.” Slowly, she unfastened the button, never taking her eyes off of his face as she worked. Then, she tugged the zipper down at an excruciating speed.

She was greeted by a tent in his underwear. Sturges flushed in embarrassment. Arousal was still something foreign to him, something he hadn’t dealt with in years until Vera began to affect him. Hell, even still, he didn’t experience it without her. Was it bad for him to have responded this way already? 

A pleased smile from Vera put that fear to rest. “Good to see you are looking forward to the lesson.” She traced the outline of the bulge with the tip of her thumb, causing him to huff in surprise. “Let’s free you so we can begin. Lift your hips for me.” It was all Sturges could do to brace himself and lift himself off the seat of the chair so she could slide jeans and underwear down to his ankles. Was it the chill in the air or the feeling of being exposed before her that made him shiver?

The chill didn’t last long, as her lips began to trail up and down the length of him, ultimately parting to take him. It was warm and wet and heavenly, though it once again perplexed him behind the haze why he could have sworn he’d experienced this without remembering any names or faces of girls in his past. And just like before, it ceased to matter the more intense her ministrations became.

“Fuck!” he gasped, clenching his jaw at the flick of her tongue. Both hands were firmly gripping the seat of the chair. It took all his strength not to buck into her face.

To his dismay, she pulled off at this outburst. Her grin was positively devilish as she brushed a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Shh, Sturges, you don’t want the others to wonder what’s going on in here, do you?”

“No…”

“Then you’ll have to be quieter, won’t you?” With one last cheeky smile, she bowed her head and resumed her work, pulling him in even deeper than before as her hands latched onto his hips. Quiet? Easier said than done, especially given the sinful things she was doing to him! He managed to limit his outbursts to heavy breathing and the occasional hiss of pleasure until he was right on that precipice.

“Vera…” he pleaded through gritted teeth. Looking down to search for a sign that she would have mercy on him, he noticed for the first time the stunning image of her between his legs, mouth wrapped around him, and eyes looking up innocently. It was over whether she intended for it or not. Only his hand hastily pressed over his mouth kept him from making this widely known as white hot pleasure coursed through his body.

As he savored the aftershocks, it occurred to him that she hadn’t released him even when he spilled. When she finally pulled off, he could see the hints of seed and saliva trickling at the corners of her mouth before she wiped it with the back of her hand. He may have gaped a little at that sight. “Holy shit, Vera! How the hell is that gonna get me to stop my bad behavior?”

“Are you relaxed now?” she inquired simply, slowly getting back on her feet.

Relaxed? His entire body felt like a limp noodle. In fact, the idea of getting up and pulling his pants back up seemed far too daunting at the moment. “Well, yeah…”

“Doesn’t it feel good?”

“…yeah.” He hated admitting that, because logic dictated that there was nothing necessary or practical about what she had just done to him. Instead of articulating this thought, he instead wondered “But how does that help you?”

“You’ll just have to trust me when I say that I am well satisfied.” Vera paused thoughtfully, tilting her head. “Like I said before, you need to be taken care of too. You are not a machine, you can’t keep doing this to yourself. If you continue forgetting to sleep, I’m going to have to dedicate myself to wearing you out in other ways. You don’t like being responsible for me throwing myself at you without thinking about my own needs, then you need to hold up your end of the deal. Do you understand?”

“Are you sure you don’t want me to do somethin’ for you?” he insisted, feeling the sharp pang of guilt just as she predicted.

“No time. You’d better get your pants back on before somebody catches you.” Finally, he was feeling chastised. What a devious woman she was… Caught without any excuse, he dragged himself to his feet and did as she suggested. The last thing he needed was for someone to barge in and catch him naked from the waist down.

“I’m sorry,” he attempted as he pulled up his fly. “Vera, this is too much! You told me to tell you when things got uncomfortable, and they’ve been amazing until this right here. I can’t stand you using…that…as leverage. I’ll try to do better, honest I will, but…”

Vera’s face seemed to pale. “God, Sturges, I didn’t mean for that to be manipulative! It’s just that you make me worry about you. I wanted you to unwind, I wanted to help you unwind because I know you won’t do it for yourself. The sex wasn’t supposed to be part of a guilt trip, I swear!”

Wordlessly, he opened his arms, inviting her to his embrace. It was an invitation she took up immediately. “Thank you for takin’ care of me, Vera darlin’. It felt amazing. I don’t like not bein’ able to reciprocate, but I’ll just have to make it up to you another time, you got it?”

“Got it.”

Before she could take her leave, he leaned down to kiss her. It was quite a surprise to get that particular taste when his mouth met hers, and when he startled, she broke away with a laugh. “Not used to that, huh? Do you want to go get some water to wash it out?”

He nodded quickly. “And, uh, one more thing.”

“Yes?” She looked up at him, curious.

Sturges scratched the back of his head awkwardly. “I was thinkin’ that maybe, when you are here in Sanctuary, it would be possible to…share a bed with you? I mean, you know, I’d definitely go to bed at a decent time if I knew you were waitin’ for me. I understand if that’s weird or you don’t want people findin’ out, or…”

Vera blushed, but a pleased smile made it clear that the idea was not offensive. “I’d like that, Sturges.”

He exhaled. “Then we’ve got a date for your bed, ten o’clock sharp?”

She snorted in amusement. “I suppose we do.” Vera reached out and linked her arm in his. “I look forward to it.”


	22. Never Gonna Be the Same

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vera comes across a very nasty surprise that flips her entire world on its head. The truth changes everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh gosh, I finally sucked it up and did it. This one was difficult, but seeing as it would be impossible to not include the details of the big synth reveal, it had to be done. I'm not a hundred percent satisfied with it yet, but I can't just sit and stare at it forever, so here you go.
> 
> Also, warning for depictions of violence and reference to torture

According to Brian Virgil, whom she had finally managed to track deep within the Glowing Sea, she needed to hunt down and kill a Courser to gain access to the Institute. He’d suggested she try poking around near the ruins of the C.I.T. and fishing for a radio signal, but she ended up finding a courser in a way she could never have imagined. It was also a way she wished would never have happened.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

She arrived shortly before sunset at Oberland Station, planning on resupplying and dropping off the odds and ends she’d acquired in her past expedition to the Glowing Sea, only to find Dogmeat waiting for her along the tracks. This wouldn’t be the first time the dog had made a long journey on its own, but something was clearly bothering him this time. As soon as he detected her approach, he bounded over to her and began spinning in circles while whining.

“Dogmeat? What are you doing all the way out here, boy? What’s wrong?”

As she knelt down to soothe her companion, one of the settlers hurried over from her post in the tato field. “General, that your dog? He showed up here a couple hours ago and hasn’t stopped trying to get our attention since. We can’t figure out what the hell is wrong, though.”

“Hey, I’m here now, boy. Show me what’s wrong, okay? I know you wouldn’t run off this far without a good reason.” Vera completely ignored the settler, focusing instead on the caramel eyes of the German Shepherd as she rubbed him fondly behind the ears.

Ever since the moment she met him, they’d had some kind of inexplicable bond; Dogmeat just seemed to get her, and she could read him well. For the first several weeks, they’d been inseparable companions. Then, later, Dogmeat had helped her track down Kellog across miles of wasteland. Now, all it took was a gentle tug on her sleeve with his teeth and she was following, trusting the canine as she trusted few humans. They left the settlement behind, weaving through the barren hills. The occasional sniff kept Dogmeat on the route he desired, and before long they stood outside the mouth of a cave tucked out of sight from any beaten paths. A low growl and his ears pulling back made it very clear that there was something dangerous inside. Why it bothered Dogmeat so she couldn’t begin to guess.

“Okay,” she exhaled as she reached for her laser pistol. She carefully restocked the ammo. “I’ll go in first, and you follow behind. Keep out of sight in case I need the element of surprise.” Vera drew another deep breath, even more nervous than usual seeing as Dogmeat had come all the way from Sanctuary for whatever was inside.

Vera had never been particularly stealthy, one of her flaws alongside her overall weakness and fragile build, but in her defense, the thing she had been trying to stalk was equipped with the most advanced motion sensing technology still available. Before her eyes could even adjust to the dim light, she was receiving a blow to the gut that effectively disarmed her. A hand wrapped around her throat and pinned her to the rough stone wall. “How unfortunate. It seems we have an uninvited guest.”

Her ears were still ringing from the blow, but she could have sworn the voice that called her name with palpable fear sounded familiar…

“Indeed.” Her assailant paused, assessing the woman he pinned. Finally, she was beginning to absorb her surroundings, and her heart fell as she realized how powerful the enemy was. He didn’t seem to waste any effort holding her there, his strength a mere afterthought. She also realized he wore the same type of armor she'd seen before on many of the synths she'd fought. Institute? “Is it common for your General to go chasing after errant mechanics? If so, it’s no wonder no one takes the Minutemen seriously. No proper leader would ever be so reckless.”

Despite the taunting words, all she could focus on was his use of the word ‘mechanic’. She blinked back the spots marring her vision, ignoring the current threat in favor of locating whomever he was addressing. 

Her entire world crumbled out from under her when she realized that the mechanic in question was none other than Sturges, who was chained to the back wall of the cave, shirtless and covered in cuts and bruises. Despite how it must hurt, he was straining wildly against his bonds. “Please, I’m the one you came for, not her!” His voice was hoarse, rough as sandpaper, as if he'd been shouting for too long. No wonder she hadn't recognized it immediately.

The enemy turned his head, a frowning. “This is unpredicted. You sound like the humans do when we come and raze their little hovels to the ground. Impossible, given what you are. You can’t actually feel anything, just as I cannot.” The flat, almost mechanical tone of his voice was so creepy that she almost missed the point of what he had said. What he…was?

“Huh?” Her first word in the conversation and the brilliant lawyer sounded like a complete dunce.

The man ignored her. “There is no logic to keeping her alive. No one watches a Courser work and survives. The Institute suffers no witnesses.” She felt the grip around her throat tighten, and in response, she reached for the spare revolver she kept tucked away in her thigh holster. It was an all-together predictable move born out of sheer desperation. The Courser gave a sharp twist to her wrist with his free hand. The weapon clattered uselessly to the ground as she cried out in pain. To add insult to injury, he then flung her to the ground as well, hard enough that she bounced as the wind was knocked out of her.

“Vera, please, you have to run!” She couldn’t see him (and if she could, she knew it would have broken her heart), but she could tell from the pinched tone of his desperate plea that he was damn close to tears if he wasn’t already there. “I’m not worth you dying for!”

A foot pressed down on her chest before she could react. “It wouldn’t matter, H2-68. She can fight me and die, or she can run and be hunted down. The only question that remains is if she would even want to fight to save a synth.”

A…synth? H2-68? Sturges? None of that could be true! But when she craned her head to look at him, she saw the way he'd been completely broken, hanging weakly from his chains and tears streaming down his face. He accepted it as the truth.

If the world before had been crumbling, it was now dissolving altogether.

Everything that happened next hardly registered, the shock was so great. All she knew for sure was that she let out an ungodly howl born of terror and betrayal. The instant Dogmeat came flying from the shadows, undetected as the Courser had been focused on her, she used the opportunity of him knocking off her assailant to rip the final weapon in her arsenal from her pack. Her weakest, certainly, and had the Courser still been in control, he would have laughed at the souped up .38 pipe pistol, but in the hands of a madwoman, that mattered very little. Blood splattered everywhere as she pumped round after round into her foe. Perhaps she even wasted ammo on overkill, but she was still too blinded with rage to notice. 

When sense finally came back to her, all that was left was the mangled body of the Courser, blood and tissue and altogether too human for comfort. There was also an intense pain in her wrist where she had been grabbed. There was Dogmeat, whimpering softly due to the injuries he sustained from holding down the dying Courser. And there was Sturges openly sobbing in the back. That hurt the worst by far.

“Vera, I swear to God I didn’t know!” he choked without daring to look up. For the first time, she noticed how his lips and nose had been bloodied, the bruising around his left eye, all the small burns littering his bare torso, and fingers that bent at abnormal angles. This couldn’t be Sturges. Sturges was put together all the time, unlike the wreck that dangled before her. Her Sturges was most definitely human, in fact more human than half the monsters that roamed the Commonwealth who claimed to be.

“I…I…” She could do little more than stammer, at a total loss. Doing nothing wasn’t an option, however. Slowly, as if in a trance, she dug out a bobby pin and approached her lover.

This seemed to surprise him. “You’re not gonna kill me? But I’m...but you…I know that you…”

Vera desperately wanted to scream and smash things and have a complete meltdown, but that would be the last thing Sturges needed at the moment. “I don’t fucking know!” she finally cried, pounding her good fist on the wall next to his head in frustration. “So until I do, I’m getting us the hell out of here. That is, after I rip the Courser chip from that bastard’s brain matter. I’m going to get into the Institute and destroy everything I see. They're all getting a one-way ticket to hell. I’m going to make those fucking egg-heads pay for everything they’ve done, for all the ways they’ve ruined my life!”

She watched the way his shoulders shook as another sob wracked him. “I’m one of those things, ain’t I? I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

It was truly impossible to maintain her wrath while watching the man she’d come to love lose everything. Though it was difficult, she began attempting to pick the lock with her left hand leading. “This is no fault of yours. You have nothing to be sorry for.” Shit, the despair was becoming contagious. Without the anger holding it back, it muscled its way to the fore as her own tears started to fall. “I’m not mad at you. I don’t hate you.” It surprised her how easily she came to that conclusion. The lock finally sprung free. “We’ll use a few stimpaks, then head south to Hangman’s Alley to recover. The Institute would expect us to head back to Sanctuary, after all. We’ll rest. We’ll figure out what to do.” She was promising him, but she was really promising herself. 

“You’re not gonna leave me? Even though I'm...?” Sturges couldn't bear to utter the word. He finally looked up, searching for the truth in her eyes.

Without a second thought, she replied “I could never leave you.” And that was the terrifying truth.

Goddamn, why couldn’t she have just gone Courser hunting at C.I.T.?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I plan on a follow-up chapter explaining more of why the Institute snatched him and his backstory. Cue friends at the railroad.


	23. Where do we Go from Here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sturges and Vera begin to sift through their feelings and questions after getting treated for their injuries. Then, a mysterious stranger shows up with more information...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm playing with canon events here for the sake of narrative. It shouldn't be too extreme.

The stimpaks were only a temporary solution for everyone except Dogmeat. The pain in her wrist dulled, but she suspected it had been broken and needed to be set properly. She would not be much use in combat with her dominant hand incapacitated, so the only hope was stealth. Even that was not near what Sturges had endured; sure, the stimpaks closed his superficial wounds, but he too suffered from broken bones in his hands besides the burns on his chest. Then, there was the level of psychological trauma the two of them carried…

Despite it all, staying there where the courser had last reported to the Institute was out of the question, so once Vera had hacked into their assailant’s brain for the necessary chip, she led the rag-tag trio across the Charles River. Not a word was said. It was good, considering their reliance on sneaking, but it felt anything but comfortable. The whole trip to Hangman’s Alley provided plenty of time for thinking if nothing else. Heaven knew there was enough to process.

At last, they rolled up to the gates fortifying the sequestered alley. Vera knocked loudly with her good hand. “Sheffield? It’s me, the General. Open up!” She waited a beat before hearing her overseer of the alley come shuffling towards the gate.

“Password?”

“One if by land.” She emphasized it with a single knock on the wood.

“Right away, General.” There were sounds of chains being unfastened before the gate creaked open. “Bit of an unusual time for you. Hell, its nearly dawn!” The grizzled man then noticed her guest as he slunk in after her, avoiding all eye contact. “Who’s this? New settler?”

“A guest. He needs medical attention. We both do.”

Sheffield nodded soberly. “I’ll go get Martha then so she can help patch you up. You oughta go sit by the fire while you wait.”

“Thanks, Sheffield. When we’re done, I’ve got a Nuka Cola with your name on it.” Vera smiled sweetly despite the turmoil inside. She was rewarded with the sound of Sheffield whistling happily as he scurried off to the bunks. The fewer people who knew what had happened, the better. People would tear him to shreds if they found out the truth. Hell, a few hours ago, SHE might have put a bullet into a synth if they were revealed. With Sheffield gone, she sighed and took a seat on one of the stools near the fire barrel. Sturges remained on his feet, however, sort of pacing with anxious energy.

“So, Hangman’s Alley… It’s got a different vibe than the Drive-in, huh?” she attempted, hoping to soothe the nerves between them.

Sturges blinked. Despite the way he’d been looking anywhere but at other people, he hadn’t actually been paying much attention to his surroundings. “Cramped,” he finally observed quietly. “But easy to defend.”

“A crossroads. Most of the people that live here run stalls just outside the gate or have trade routes. Only four or five.”

“I see.” They fell back into uncomfortable silence. She hated it, and couldn’t help but break it again.

“Listen, Sturges, I wish we had time to talk things over before coming here but…”

“General! What trouble did you get yourself into this time?” It was Martha’s chiding voice as the woman came hauling her bag of supplies, and the time for talking was past.

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

Once all the bones were set and salve was applied to Sturges’s burns, Vera politely excused them both to her private quarters. Like everything else in the alley, it was hardly the model of fine living, but it had solid walls, a door, and an awning that at least covered half of it. “Everywhere I settle, I make myself a private office. None of the settlers are allowed in here,” she explained, sinking heavily into her desk chair. “It’s as good as we are going to get for privacy at this settlement. This was the closest medic available, though, and I was concerned our bones might start healing crooked if they didn’t get set quickly.” Sturges just held up his hands and looked sadly at them. She knew he was seeing them again for the first time, knowing they were not truly his. Damn, maybe the mental stuff was actually more important than the bones.

“Because you love making stuff,” she asserted, wheeling the chair over to the bed so she could pat the mattress, cuing him to sit. “I wouldn’t want it to affect your ability to do what you love.”

“How do we even know makin’ stuff is what I love?” he argued, frowning severely. “They probably just gave me a memory that told me I should like it.”

Vera raised an eyebrow. “So, now that you know you are…well…”

“A synth,” he spat bitterly, ducking his head.

She inhaled deeply. “A synth…well, does that mean you no longer like making things? If I gave you a rusted out suit of T-60 power armor, you wouldn’t want to fix it or get a feeling of satisfaction from fixing it?”

“I…don’t know anymore.” He finally sank onto the mattress. “I thought…I grew up fixin’ things with my old man. Apparently I never had an old man. And that mother that died givin’ birth to me? What a joke! I was never a kid, I was made just like this. Even the way I’m handy with tools…that courser told me I used to be a maintenance synth at the Institute, keepin’ the place in top shape. That was how they found me. They’ve got spies, some of ‘em are people though he didn’t tell me who, and some of ‘em are disguised as birds. They’d heard of all the things I was building, things most people couldn’t, and suspected I was one of theirs.”

“I understand that this will be hard to talk about, but I need to know: Sturges, why were they holding you? Why did they…” her eyes fell to his splinted fingers and she winced. “Why hurt you like that?”

For the first time, he held her gaze. It was hard, seeing as he still sported a black eye, but she bravely met it head on. “They wanted information on the Minutemen, specifically the leadership and their plans. Vera, you’re starting to worry them, making the Minutemen something they need to contend with. They’ve never been opposed like this before, but now you’ve not only killed their top hired gun, you’ve been seen working with the Brotherhood of Steel. I wouldn’t talk, so he…got creative.”

“Sturges…” She pressed a hand to her mouth, doing her best not to lose it.

“But that’s not all. He could have easily wiped my mind, at least that’s what he told me. They’ve got special reset codes or somethin’. He couldn’t use it until he got the information he wanted though. And he couldn’t take me back to the Institute until my mind had been wiped so I wouldn’t be a threat.” Sturges drew a shaky breath. “That’s what scares me, to be honest. He could have killed me by putting a bullet through my head, but they were going to kill me by taking away all my memories. I know not all of ‘em are mine, but there are a lot that are. My time in Quincy, starting over with my friends in Sanctuary, the things you and I shared…” He trailed off, an expression of pure pain causing a fresh wave of her own. “Though maybe those memories would best be forgotten.”

“You don’t mean that!” she protested as a tear slid down her cheek.

“You hate synths,” he replied simply, speaking with the full confidence that it was the truth. “You said they were a horrible perversion of technology. They represent the people that ruined your life. Are you even gonna be able to stand me livin’ in Sanctuary anymore, knowin’ what I am? No, you’re gonna become distant, and it’s gonna hurt worse than these cuts and burns. Maybe you’ll send me away. Or, maybe after you’ve thought about it enough, you’ll just shoot me anyhow. I could hurt you if they get control over me. At the very least, they’ll come back for me, and anyone who stands in their way…well, look what happened to you today.”

“I know what I said, I’m not going to lie. But this…I need to reconfigure what I believe to make room for this. You HAVE to know I wouldn’t…”

“General! There’s someone at the gate that wants to talk to ya!” Sheffield’s scratchy voice cut through the walls of the office.

“Fuck.” Vera scrambled to wipe the moisture from her eyes. “Can’t they just leave me alone for one goddamn second?” She sprang up from her chair and moved to the door. “Coming, coming!” she called before turning back to Sturges. “This conversation is not over. I will be back as soon as possible, you understand?”

“Right,” he mumbled dejectedly.

“And in the meantime…” She reached into her pocket and pulled out the courser chip, which she tossed to him. He caught it on instinct despite his battered hands. “You can start working on this. This is our key into the Institute once we figure out how to use it. I don’t trust the Brotherhood with this, so I’m hoping you’ll be able to crack it for me. We’ll get our revenge yet. The sooner we do, the sooner you’ll be safe from them.” Before he could protest, she was out the door.

“Who is it?” she grumbled, curbing her desire to curse in case it was an important ally.

“Won’t say. He tried to use the password to get in, but no one recognizes him…”

“What good is a password if you don’t accept it?” a voice from the other side of the gate complained. There was something familiar about it, but she could for the life of her place it.

Vera climbed up the guard post so she could peer down on the visitor. He was wearing tattered farmhand clothes, a greasy smile, and sunglasses. Wait, those sunglasses… “We’ve crossed paths, haven’t we…” she frowned.

“General Vera Pendleton, you are perceptive. So am I, and I’ve got some information about your…companion…that you might like to hear.”

Her heart stopped. Just what did this stranger know? “If I let you in, you are going to leave all weapons at the gate with Sheffield here.”

“Done.” He began to hum as he pulled a few pistols and knives from his pockets.

This might be a horrible idea, but she was in no place for rational thinking now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We aaaaaaaaall know who this guy is.


	24. From Quincy, With Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite Sturges' strong protests, Vera and Preston headed out for Quincy to take the place back from the Gunner scum. Now, Vera has to deal with the aftermath of that argument as well as the experience of walking through the remains of people's lives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, coming here hit me so hard in the feels. Well, after instigating the second Quincy Massacre and littering the streets with Gunner corpses, that is. All of the nods to the group at Sanctuary...

Before she’d left on her self-imposed mission, she’d imagined returning home in triumph, waving the Gunners’ bandana and hollering the news so everyone could hear the fate that befell those heartless bastards. The people needed to know that the Minutemen had taken back the power, and the Longs needed to know that revenge was had. They’d celebrate. They’d break open the bottles of moonshine and grill up some Brahmin steak (one of the few meat-related items she would consume even after all the time that had passed). She’d regale them with every detail, from the moment she’d picked the locks on their barricade doors to the final seconds of the traitorous Clint’s life before she shot him down on the freeway.

Instead, she was cautiously approaching the Red Rocket with her damaged right Power Armor leg dragging a bit and lugging a large sack over her shoulder like some post-apocalyptic Santa Claus. Part of this less-than-glorious entrance was due to the fact that everyone already knew what happened. When she’d left Preston back at the Castle, he’d had a radio broadcast put out announcing their cleansing of Quincy. The other part? She was remembering how she’d left with her tail between her legs.

Though she’d sworn she wasn’t doing this for vengeance or glory or simply to prove a point, Sturges had been angry when she confessed that she planned on driving the Gunners from Quincy. Suicidal, he’d called it, among several other negative things. When a man as chill as Sturges got upset, that had quite an impact. In fact, she really couldn’t remember ever seeing him so agitated, with his voice rising and his shoulders squaring, his tone clipped and his eyes narrowed. Honestly, that probably counted as their first real fight as a couple. Leaving it for the week it took to complete the mission was torment, but she had left in a hurry without smoothing things over with him. She had certainly spent the entire duration of the trip praying he was wrong for once just so that wouldn’t be the last conversation between them.

Now she was back after doing the thing he had begged her not to do for her own safety. How was he going to react when he saw her again? Would he be cold? Would he lecture her? If only she’d been able to make him see how necessary it was for the sake of the Minutemen to dispatch of their enemies and nullify their humiliating defeat! How could the people of the Commonwealth put their full confidence in them otherwise? She was not just his lover, but also the General, and she had to obey her responsibilities even if it conflicted with his interests.

A joyful bark broke the silence. Dogmeat had clearly recognized her presence, and was announcing it to the other occupant of the Red Rocket. She dutifully marched onwards towards the garage, bracing herself for whatever was to come. Before she could enter, the man in question stepped out. “Vera!”

She stopped, lowering her gaze. “Sturges. I’m back.”

“Thank God for that.” There was a pause, leaving him to fidget with nervous energy. “Well? Get out of that Power Armor so I can hug you properly woman!”

“I…really?” When she risked a look up, she was shocked to find an intense expression on his face. It wasn’t angry, but it still burned with something.

“If you don’t hurry it up, I am going to pry you from that armor myself!”

“Oh, okay.” She dropped off her sack and fumbled at the release mechanism before finally activating it and stumbling backwards out of it. Not a second later, his arms were around her, his lips pressing a kiss to the top of her head as he held her close.

“I heard the news already, but for some reason, I just couldn’t relax until I saw you with my own eyes, darlin’.” From the cocoon of his arms, she could feel him tremble.

“Sturges… You have to know I didn’t want to make you worry like this, but I had no choice but to go to Quincy! There is no place for them in the Commonwealth we want to create for the people. The General needed to make that point clear.” She did her best to get her arms around him to reciprocate the gesture, but all she managed was to clutch the sides of his coveralls.

“I know you’re right, Vera. I’ve had all week to sit there and wallow in it. I was bein’ selfish. But by God, they had taken nearly everything from us. If they had taken you too, I…I don’t know.” His voice broke, making her heart do the same. “You do dangerous shit all the time, but Quincy was too personal. I’ve seen what they are capable of with my own eyes.”

“Well, they’re all dead now, every last one in the town. Hell, that son of a bitch Clint had the nerve to still wear his Minuteman hat while strutting around on that overpass. After we ended him, I gave it to Preston as a trophy.” She pulled back to look into his face. “They’ll never hurt anyone again. They’ll never hurt you again.” The final words slipped out unintentionally, and her eyes widened at her mistake.

He hadn’t missed it. “Vera, you promised me this was not about revenge!” His concern was morphing into frustration once more, just like it had a week ago.

She swallowed. “It wasn’t supposed to be. There were good reasons for doing it. It’s not like I’ve planned on marching in and shooting up the place since I met you guys and heard what happened. It’s just that…” She blinked back a sudden wave of tears as the memories of the Quincy ruins flooded her mind. “Once the battle was over, we found Hollis’s terminal. What was left of the Longs’ pharmacy, and their little boy’s bedroom. Mama Murphy’s apartment, chem stash and all. And the church…all those things that were yours, left behind as you ran for your life. The terminal you worked at. Your shelves of materials and your workbenches. Damn it Sturges, that was your life before I met you. How can it not be just a little bit of revenge after seeing all that?”

She twisted from his grip, which had gone limp, and began to rummage through her bag. After a few moments, she pulled out a leather jacket and held it up. “This was yours, wasn’t it? I found it next to your bed. It looks like it would actually fit you, unlike the one I scavenged for you. I couldn’t bring a lot of stuff back, but I wanted to bring you something of yours from Quincy while I was there. I hope I chose wisely…”

It was true, that jacket brought back memories of a carefree time, nights at the Hole in the Wall with colleagues sharing drinks and songs on the jukebox. As much as he appreciated the jacket Vera had given him before, this one was so much better, and she couldn’t have done a better job selecting something with sentimental value. All the same, he took it from her hands and tossed it on the ground. “You chose damn perfectly, Vera, but I’d still rather have you more than anything else in this world.” Before she could utter a sound of surprise, his mouth was on hers, demanding and fiery. Whatever hadn’t clicked about passion before due to his synth nature had finally resolved itself, it seemed.

After a few seconds, he pulled back, leaving her dazed. “Tell me ‘no’ right now if you don’t want this to end in the bedroom. I guarantee you that’s how this is going to play out otherwise.”

“Please don’t stop,” she breathed. “Take me.”

He responded by scooping her up easily and carrying her into the shop bridal-style. “With pleasure.”

VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV

When all was said and done, and they lay tangled in the sheets, she realized that their love-making was fundamentally different this time. Despite his size, Sturges had never been so aggressive before. She came to realize that his submissive nature was due to his inexperience (even though he had no clue he was inexperienced), and after the big revelation hit both of them, his vulnerability as a synth kept him from taking charge. It never bothered her, and it was never bad, but seeing this sudden change in him was thrilling. She’d given up hope it would happen. 

Even now, he was trailing kisses along her sternum, a possessive hand on her hip. “Vera, darlin’, it’s kinda scary how much I need you. I don’t think I understood it until you left the other day.”

“Hmm, you’re a bit behind, aren’t you? I knew I needed you a long time ago,” she teased, running her fingers through his gelled hair. “But you know that doesn’t change the things I have to do.”

“I know. Nothin’ in this world is certain.” He moved up to press his lips against hers, this time slow and soft and sweet. “It could all go up in smoke again.”

“But you and I, we’re going to help stabilize it. Even now, think of all the settlements we’ve built. Think of all the people that have a safe home. I hope they never have to run the way you did. I’ll do everything I can to make sure of it. And I will always know that when I’m done, I still have a home to go back to, wherever you are.”

His fingers laced with hers. “I’ll make it a good one, then.”


	25. The Tango

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mysterious stranger tries to cut a deal with Vera, but perhaps he missed the memo that as a lawyer, one does not walk all over her. Cue Sturges backstory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I saw all the comments from people who were excited about a certain agent's appearance at the end of the last chapter, and I've got something I need to admit right now: I don't actually like him. I guarantee you it is 100% due to my real-life aversion to liars. He became at least tolerable to me the second play-through, but I still keep him at arms length. I'll give him that he's an interesting character, at any rate.

“Sturges, we’ve got a guest!” Vera hoped that the random stranger shadowing her through the alley would assume she was knocking out of politeness more than as a warning; he may claim to know a great many things, but he had no business knowing about the courser chip. Surely Sturges would have the sense to hide it away before they entered…

There was a pause, but finally, a tired voice on the other side replied “I really don’t want to…”

“Trust me, you’ll want to,” the stranger announced. Before she could react, he had already brushed past her, inviting himself into the office. Vera glowered at this presumptuous behavior, quickly stepping inside behind him and shutting the door after signaling Sheffield to leave.

No time was wasted. “Okay pal, first things first: who the hell are you?”

“That’s…need to know information.”

“And I don’t need to know?”

“Nope. My name’s completely irrelevant.”

Before he could also invite himself to her desk chair, she snuck around him and planted herself, frowning deeply. “Then tell me who you work for. People don’t just spy as a fun hobby.”

“That I might tell you, depending on how negotiations go.”

“Oh, so we’re negotiating, are we? I might have known the information wasn’t coming free of charge.”

“What information?” Sturges piped up unsurely, glancing between the two others in the room.

“Information about you, H2-68.”

Sturges visibly flinched, and in the dim light Vera thought he might have also gone pale. “That’s not possible…”

“Sturges, honey, I’m going to have to ask you not to say anything for a moment,” Vera interrupted, her tone crisp and businesslike. From her desk drawer she withdrew a pair of sunglasses, which she immediately donned. “He’s the type who’d use anything you say against you.”

“Very true, very true. Though anyone could use that reaction alone to draw some conclusions.” The man clicked his tongue and shook his head at Sturges. “You’ll have to be more careful…”

“Eyes over here!” Vera snapped, straightening up in her chair. She may as well have been a queen the way she held herself. “You ever hear of lawyers?”

The man snorted. “What kind of ignoramus do you take me for? Of course I know about the old world profession of defending people in courts of law.”

“Well, seeing as you are not an ‘ignoramus’, you must already be aware that I myself was one. You’ll have to work your ass off to get what you’re looking for from me, I guarantee it. So far, you haven’t exactly made a good first impression, so you’ve got quite a bit of ground to cover before I feel inclined to work with you rather than against you. Start talking.”

Instead of making him angry, her words triggered a pleased grin. “Takes two to tango, and boy has it been forever since I found myself a dance partner. It’s like this.” He leaned up against the wall nonchalantly. “We’ve been hoping for your support since you started building up the Minutemen from the ashes. Sadly, you’ve been throwing in with those Brotherhood of Steel creeps, though rumor has it you aren’t a hundred percent sold on them.” He waited for some word of confirmation, but he received nothing but a straight face from Vera. Shrugging, he continued. “I’m wondering though if things might not change given recent events. You know what will happen to your…paramour…if they figure out what he is.”

It would have been so easy to get riled up, but she hadn’t paid for all those years of law school to be caught in a trap as obvious as this one. “That is a very large ‘if’. Though, I’d have to wonder, would you sell him out just to get revenge on me if I don’t cooperate?”

“That’s not in the plans, General. We’re not out to make an enemy of you, and we certainly aren’t out to put a synth in danger, if you catch my drift.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Railroad.”

“So, here’s the thought: we tell you all you want to know about H2-68’s history. In return, you join me in a raid on our old headquarters and learn what we’re about. It’s unorthodox, I’ll admit, but it seems conducive to our situation.”

“Old headquarters?” she cocked her head.

“Institute caught onto us. Basically put, if you help with the raid, it’ll be a win-win situation for you; I know you hate those guys with a burning passion, and you could take out a ton of their synth lackeys. It would definitely piss them off.”

Vera rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “Now, I’m trying to decide why you revealed yourself. You were either extremely confident I would want the information you are offering, a poor gamble at best considering the circumstances, or you are so desperate you are grasping at the only opening you’ve got. Whichever could it be?”

Finally, the cocky grin disappeared from his face. “Can you honestly say, right in front of him, that you don’t give a damn?” He nodded in Sturges direction, as if she had forgotten his awkward presence in the room.

Bingo. She must have hit pretty close to home, because this man was pulling out all the stops with this barb. “Personally, I find the past far less relevant than the present. I could easily live without that information; we know all that we need to.”

“Did you ever ask him what he wants? Or do you no longer care about that because of what he is?”

Finally, Sturges had enough. This guy was using him to try and push Vera’s buttons, and he was not going to let that stand. The synth jumped to his feet. “Listen here, that’s none of your business! If she doesn’t wanna trust you…”

“Sturges.” Vera held up a hand, causing his threat to trail off.

“But Vera…”

“He’s taking some low blows because he needs this deal to go through in the worst way. He’d make me walk the Freedom Trail like everybody else otherwise. But, I am curious…” Vera lowered the shades down the bridge of her nose, effectively exiting lawyer mode for a brief moment of sincerity. “Do you want that information?”

He gaped. “Not if it costs you.”

She waved the words away. “Don’t think about me for just one moment. If it just came down to you and what you wanted, would you want that information?”

Vera hadn’t been wrong when she said the past made little difference given their current situation. What good would it do knowing how he’d escaped, or why he’d ended up in Quincy? Then again, there were holes in his memories that were driving him crazy, especially the further he and Vera developed their relationship. The knowing without any real examples, past experiences that were so shallow compared to what he was experiencing now. He braced himself. “I want to know where the fake memories end and the real ones begin!”

“Then, here’s my offer.” The shades went back up, and she was back to business, redirecting her attention to the spy. “You are going to tell me what I want to know up front. You know my credentials, no doubt, and you know I am a person of my word. I will meet you at your HQ and help with the raid at a time and date of your choosing. Are we in agreeance?”

The man frowned, clearly displeased that he was not the one setting the terms. She imagined he was far too used to being in that position. However, she caught the slight shrug of his shoulders as he accepted the terms. “Strange how we end up here, seeing as you wanted to forget everything so badly. All that work of designing memories about to be unraveled.”

“You people design memories?” Vera did nothing to hide her surprise.

“Hey, only if the participant is willing. A lot of synths want new memories and new identities to help them escape detection.” The man looked at Sturges pointedly. “You did, at one time.”

Sturges swallowed. “I’m…sorry? For the inconvenience?”

The man gave a snort of amusement. “Ah, whatever. To be honest, your entire procedure didn’t go according to plan. I’m surprised the memories held as long as they did.”

“What does that mean?” he pressed.

“The escape went well enough, and we got you to our memory specialist just fine after a little facial reconstruction. You were going to be sent down south once we were done, hence the accent and all. However, halfway through, we got word that the Institute was putting pressure around our route. We had to finish the job quicker than we would have liked. Half-assed memories, not nearly as thorough as we would have liked. Then, we hurried you to the border, only to find the border blocked off. With no other options, we were forced to leave you in Quincy until we could find a new route or open up the old one.”

Sturges inhaled. “I remember coming to Quincy after a medical procedure. I was supposed to head home, but the road was too dangerous. I ended up staying. My guide never came back, but I was happy enough there that I didn’t mind. I had nobody waiting for me anyhow. Those people took me in…”

“And the rest is, as they say, history. Those people took a real shine to you, and you seemed to be enjoying yourself. It didn’t make sense to endanger you by trying to extract you at that point. And the fun part is…” The man folded his arms. “Leaving your mechanical skills from your time working in the Institute was a gamble. We thought it would do people some real good to have that kind of knowledge for themselves. It did, didn’t it? Even now, with the Minutemen, their meteoric rise is owed in no small part to the work you’ve done. That’s why the Institute found you. So, did the gamble pay off?” He shrugged. “That’s anybody’s guess.”

“So, everything from Quincy on forward…” he murmured, ignoring the man’s words. Then, he sighed. “That’s actually kind of a relief. Those were the strongest memories.”

“But the question is, now that the Institute has you pegged, is it time for a new face and a new identity?” For the first time, the stranger wore an expression that seemed genuinely concerned. “We can help you again, seeing as our failure the first time caused this.”

The words were barely out of his mouth than she bolted up out of her chair. “Wait just a moment!”

At the same exact moment, Sturges cried out “Now hold on!” while flailing his hands.

He seemed taken aback by such violent reactions to the proposal. “Did I offend?”

Vera didn’t have a good reason for being against the plan, other than the fact that she wasn’t ready to lose Sturges. Perhaps it was unfair, seeing as she didn’t even know if they could keep up their relationship with the new knowledge they had, but her instinct fought against the thought desperately.

Sturges was much more articulate. “Last time, I had nothing to lose, comin’ right out of the Institute. It was a kindness. But this time, I have things I don’t want to lose. I have friends! I have a home! I have…” His eyes darted to Vera, but he quickly looked away. He might not actually have that. “Thank you for your offer, but I’ll take my chances.”

“Okay then.” Without warning, the spy headed to the door. “General, I’ll see you tomorrow night near the overpass south of Lexington.”

The door opened, and he slipped out. He’d been there all of fifteen minutes, but it felt like an eternity. Suddenly, it occurred to Vera how exhausting that entire exchange had been. She slumped back down into her chair.

“Vera, are you gonna trust this guy?”

She rubbed her temples. “He’s clearly the type who won’t ever tell it to you straight. God, I know I was trained to deal with those types of people, but I’m apparently out of shape.” She paused her motions, smiling reassuringly. “Don’t worry. I’m going to go walk the Freedom Trail and find the Railroad tonight. If they vouch for him, I’ll meet him as we agreed on.” She moved to grab her supplies, hastily dropped on the floor earlier that evening. “You just stay here and see if you can’t figure something out with that courser chip.”

“Vera,” he began again. She looked back to him curiously, causing him to swallow thickly. “Why’d you give him what he wanted?”

“Because he gave you what you needed, and that’s a good enough reason for me.” She got up and approached him, running her fingers along the stubble of his jaw. “Don’t give up on me yet, okay?”

Sturges couldn’t help but press his hand against hers, holding it to his face. “Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes, that exchange was exhausting to write! No wonder I was procrastinating...


	26. Starting Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sturges and Vera finally have time to figure out where their intimate relationship is going to go. Hint: this is an M rated chapter...

Of course, she’d sent word ahead with the trade caravans that Sturges had been found and was safe. With her friends notified, she didn’t feel bad about leaving him at Hangman’s Alley for the night while she ran the Freedom Trail and verified her mysterious dance partner’s identity. Vera returned the next morning ready to get Sturges back where he belonged despite getting no sleep and looking like a wreck. Unlike him, she was only human. He ended up carrying her piggy-back along the route by the time they hit Oberland, allowing her to finally rest. It wasn’t so horrible; his engineered strength ought to be good for SOMETHING. Besides, they went in the company of a trade caravan, providing some safety in numbers. The only downside was that they asked him innocent questions, which he was not ready to answer. He just did his best and kept his answers brief.

The reunion once they made it to Sanctuary made him thankful he’d so vehemently decided to keep his memories. People missed him. People were worried about him. It was regrettably tainted with the news of the Institute, but he could see the resolve of the settlers against their enemy. He’d be a rallying cry against their common enemy.

Then came the hard part. He had to come clean to Preston about what had really happened. After Vera, he was the one person he trusted most, and as the second in command of the Minutemen, he needed to know the threat. Preston had been silent for a while, processing what he was told. Sturges couldn’t even begin to read his mind. In the end, though, the bonds forged through hardship proved stronger than the fear of the unknown, and he made that clear. He would keep his secret and remain his friend.

Vera waited to leave until this job had been done, wanting to be sure things went okay between the two men. Then, she’d instructed Sturges to bunker down in the root cellar until she returned. The Institute might be trying to snatch him up again soon, and she wasn’t having it. While she finished the Lexington job, she needed him to figure out their way in.

The next night, she returned and found him where he was supposed to be after giving the appropriate series of knocks on the steel door. It was late, but he was awake. His tools lay scattered all around the cellar, and she wondered how he could see what he was doing in the flickering light of the oil lamp. She didn’t have the heart to scold him for over-working himself any longer. “Sturges?”

“Vera? Did you clean out that HQ?” Sturges scrambled to his feet and came to meet her as she climbed down the ladder.

“Yep. Talk about synths. It felt good to blast them to scrap metal! Perfect therapy after a week like this.” She carefully reached up and shut the door behind her. “Also, no daggers in my back. That was a plus.”

His brow furrowed. “I was worried. He was just so sketchy…”

“I know.” She couldn’t suppress the yawn that forced itself from her. “It’s bedtime. Mind if I join you down here? I know it’s a bit cramped.”

Sturges froze, eyes wide in shock. He hadn’t dared to imagine their sleeping arrangements would remain intact after everything. “You mean…you wanna…still? I mean, even though I…”

“Sturges.” The way she uttered his name was some strange mixture of melancholy and a plea. This shouldn’t be surprising; she knew what he was now, wished it wasn’t so. The look in her eye said it all. She hadn’t killed him yet, she hadn’t even thrown him out of her life, and after what she’d done for him back at Hangman’s Alley, he doubted she ever would, but there was no way she could take him back as a lover. A synth wasn’t capable of love after all, they were just machines. Machines she always professed to hate. Her beliefs could never flip so drastically just because of him even though she was clearly trying to ignore her feelings.

All that considered, he didn’t make a sound as he sank down on the mattress. It was his own, or else he wouldn’t have dared. It was just that he’d lost all energy, all will to continue. He looked up with a sad smile. “Let’s not pretend, Vera. You’re gonna be done with me, aren’t you?”

Vera frowned. She took a long step towards him and reached out her hand, caressing his cheek. Damn, it was warm, prickled with the hints of stubble where he needed to trim. No different than any other man. But that was just it, wasn’t it? The difference was not in his body, which had been fabricated to be exactly like a human; it was in his head. In theory, the Institute could hijack him and use him like a puppet, provided they were able to regain control of his functions after his mind wipe. He could kill her or any of his friends without wanting to. In fact, his entire personality had been programmed in an effort to help him escape detection. What was real and what was given were in a tangled mess.

But had anyone programmed him to look so miserable? Could anyone pretend to be so devastated? Before she knew it, the words escaped. “Done with you? I’m just getting started with you. We have a lot to explore…”

“Vera,” he choked. She noticed his eyes start to water. “I know it will take time to figure out, but I couldn’t bear it if we took things further and then you walked away.”

Vera sighed before letting her fingers run through his hair. “If it comes down to jumping ship now or staying the course, well…” She closed her eyes. “Things are different now. But you are still you, and I know I could love you, synth or not. I’ve fallen too far to turn back.”

“Vera…”

She silenced him with her lips on his. “Let me know you, all of you. Let me lay you bare. I have no intention of leaving anything out unless you tell me otherwise, do you understand?”

He was fairly certain he knew what she meant, but his normally strong logic was in disarray, and something about her offer made him ache like never before. He wanted to be laid bare. “I’m yours. Always have been.”

She smiled and began running kisses from his forehead to his damp eyelashes, and down the chiseled jaw her hand had just mapped. She only broke away to nip at his earlobe, tugging lightly. “This part I’m pretty familiar with. You probably don’t realize how many times I caught myself staring at your face while you worked. So focused. Did you know your mouth crooks up in one corner when you are thinking really hard?”

“Does it?”

“Yep. It makes me want to come over and kiss you. Like this.” This time she devoured his mouth, paying special attention to his bottom lip as she nibbled. Her right hand trailed down so it was resting along his thick neck. She could feel the pulse within him, and it was accelerating the harder she kissed him. He was alive, and she would fight anyone on that point. Not only was he alive, but he had feelings. They couldn’t manufacture those, not the Institute, and not the Railroad.

The process gradually continued. She continued to move down his body, kissing and caressing every inch she exposed. First, the T-shirt came off, allowing her to bask in his masculine physique. Designed to be powerful perhaps. That explained how he managed to look so built when he didn’t work out beyond what his job called for, how he never seemed to lose weight even when he kept forgetting to eat. Funny how it all made sense now. She could appreciate his body for what it was, designed or not. Arms and hands and even fingers got the treatment once she was finished with his chest.

The pants were next, but before she could see to them, the boots had to go. This was not going to be some pants-half-down quickie after. Vera did draw a line at kissing his unwashed feet, but was more than pleased to start at his ankle and work her way up those firm calves and solid thighs, all the while murmuring words of praise. Sturges was flexing in reaction (or perhaps in anticipation?) underneath her, all those synthetic muscles buzzing with life. “Vera, please…” he breathed, fingers finding purchase in her hair.

Something finally struck her then, something about the rawness of his voice, the breathy tones and the uncertainty. He’d always been passive, but now, she was putting two and two together. “You haven’t actually done this before me, have you?”

“Those memories…they were always so unclear. I guess that’s part of what they short-changed me.” He gave a weak smile. “Like I believed I’d done it before but could never remember anything specific about it. It felt like the first time, and I guess it was the first time.”

“Fuck.” She stretched so she was back up to eye-level. “I would have gone about this completely differently if I had only known… I could have made it better for you!”

“I don’t have any regrets.” His gaze never wavered as he uttered the words, and she felt an overwhelming urge to take him.

“Then neither do I.” She reached for the waistband of his underwear and tugged them down and off, tossing the garment somewhere in the corner. They could find it later. For now, she just wanted to bask in the sight of him, completely naked before her, so powerful but so meek as he attempted to process everything that was happening. One thing was for sure: this was the most turned on he had ever been, as if understanding his true nature had liberated him and allowed him to feel it fully.

When she began tugging her own clothes from her body, he finally had to ask. “How far is this going?”

“Well,” she contemplated, tossing her bra somewhere in the same area as his underwear, “I did say I wanted to know ALL of you.”

He dared to let his hand wander over soft, pale skin, the likes of which were unheard of in the Commonwealth. “I don’t think we should go all the way tonight. We’re both too emotional about, well, everything at the current moment.”

Vera sighed as she shimmied out of her underwear. “I hate it when you are right. And you are ALWAYS right.” Now she joined him on the mattress, just as bare as he was. “But we’ll at least go somewhere, won’t we?”

For the first time, a curious hand reached out and squeezed one of her eager breasts. There was no need to hide his uncertainty any longer. “Darlin’, we’ve got plenty of places to go.”


End file.
